If you're expecting a traditional NHL Stanley Cup finals preview, the kind of rote sportswriting you can read at ESPN or The Hockey News, then I apologize ahead time for disappointing you. This post is going to be, mostly, a very fawning appreciation of my amazing 2010 Montreal Canadiens, a team I cursed at vociferously on the teevee the entire regular season. Read on about my Habs, Les Habitants, le Blue-Blanc-et-Rouge, Les Glorieux. And, o-kay, I will briefly give my thoughts on the finals match-up between the Philadelphia Flyers and the Chicago Blackhawks.

First, some background. One Saturday afternoon, back when I was a little boy who had just started playing tennis ball hockey in my South Jersey side yard, I saw Yvan "The Roadrunner" Cournoyer take a 100 foot headman pass at the red line from Serge Savard, go in alone on Ranger goalie Gilles Villemure, and smoothly beat him top shelf. And he did it wearing that electric red sweater that is the best looking uniform in sports. I was instantly a fan.

This year the Canadiens weren't just the worst of the 16 playoff teams, they were worse than three teams from the Western Conference that didn't make playoffs. And now, the only reason Philadelphia is playing in the finals is because Montreal cleared the path for them by absolutely stunning the best team in the league and the defending champions-the Capitals and the Penguins-in the first two rounds.

And the hero of those seven-game triumphs was Montreal's dead-eyed, flopping Slovakian goalie, Jaroslav Halak. He was simply unbeatable in the five do-or-die games in those series. Like Montrealers, I racked my brain trying to come up with a nickname for him. The Bratislavanator? Terrible. The Halak stop signs were a nice item.

Nearly as impressive for the Habs was the goal scoring of diminutive forward Michael Cammalleri-he of the trademark on-one-knee one-timer. He netted 12 goals in the 14 games against Washington and Pittsburgh, seemingly scoring on every open look he got. He along with Montreal's other top offensive forwards-Scott Gomez, Brian Gionta, and Tomas Plekanec-are all well under six-feet tall, something that pissed me off in October and still pisses me off. The tough Flyers finally exploited their tininess in the Eastern Conference finals.

Also worthy of my oral pleasure was 6-7 defenseman Hal Gill, very possibly the slowest skater in the NHL. But try skating around his long limbs and longer stick. Gill made it his mission to shutdown the Pens' Sidney Crosby. Canada's savior had one meaningless goal in the series, in Game 6, a game Gill missed because he had 50 stitches in the back of his leg after getting stepped on in Game 5. The Habs' trainer added some staples to the stitches, and he returned to torment Sid the Kid in Game 7.

OK! Who will win the Stanley Cup? Fuck if I know. Here, I'll do what almost every hockey beat writer has already done-a Why [X/Y] Will Win The Series showdown.

Why the Flyers will win: DEFENSE. Their entire team plays it disciplined and plays it well. Philly defenseman Chris Pronger is coming up big. He basically singlehandedly stopped the Canadiens in pivotal Game 4, playing an old-school 31 minutes. And Philly skates up-tempo, for 60 minutes. Captain Mike Richards is leading like a captain should. Wildcard: 22-year-old Claude Giroux is already an electric player. Why they won't win: inexperienced goalie Michael Leighton will fall apart, and they won't score enough. Why they shouldn't win: their fans, like this one.

Last Cup win: 1975.

Why the Blackhawks will win: OFFENSE. Chicago has a great bunch of forwards, including the immovable 257-pound Dustin Byfuglien (pronounced "BUFF-LIN), who dominated the choking Sharks in the Western Conference finals. Their number one line of Byfuglien/Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane is a force. Why they won't win: two jinxes. One, they're from Chicago. Two, winger Marián Hossa has been on the last two Stanley Cup final losers. Also, rookie Finnish netminder Antti Niemi is due to do some sucking. Why they shouldn't win: their fans sing along to this stupid song after every goal.

Last Cup win: 1961.

Copyranter is an ad copywriter who blogs about advertising here. Before selling out, he was a sports reporter for several small newspapers, including a daily where he covered the Philadelphia Flyers. He knows his way around a rink, having majored in hockey in college-which led to his graduating with a 2.8 GPA in Communications and a wicked wrist shot.