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Labour MP Gets the Knife on the Way Out
Stephen Timms, the Labour MP who was Financial Secretary to the Treasury until Knifecrime Island disbanded its government last week, had the poor idea of actually meeting with his constituents regularly. You know who his constituents are? They are knives. And the knives want what the knives want, and now he is in the Main Hospital for Having Been Stabbed, which is extremely overburdened, as you can imagine.
Are we certain someone didn't merely skewer him with some rapier wit?
Looking above and below your comment, no.
There was an opportunity to post something funny here. Maybe something self-deprecating about this site's running jokes or about American politicians protecting themselves against attack by only ever meeting members of the public willing to give them money.
Stephen Timms is the Member of Parliament for one of the poorest parts of London. Like many MPs, he holds surgeries where constituents with problems – tangled in the web of welfare or immigration bureaucracy, say – can seek help. A letter on House of Commons paper is often enough to scare a minor official into properly doing their job. Unlike many MPs, his constituents have no other resources to call on. I admire his dedication and wish him a quick recovery.
I'm not always a buzz-killer.
Yeah, all snarkiness aside, he seems like a pretty decent guy trying to do a tough job in a downtrodden region. On the third hand, he's the prime mover behind Britain's Digital Economy Bill, which is an incredibly destructive, privacy-invasive piece of legislation. I'm not sure if his support is grounded in corruption or ignorance, but I'll be generous and go for the latter.
Sometimes I worry that I've just been letting the kay sea eye become a stereotype – like running an American-style restaurant where cowboys serve deep-fried snickers bars out of buckets. But then shit like this happens and I worry that I'll never be able to wrap my head around how many knives there are.
@Deepo: China has apparently borrowed some of KCI's knives of late.
"Mr. Timms has regularly spoken out against knife crime in his constituency, particularly among young people."
You try to take the knives from the young people, you get the young people's knives.
Yes, this.
I think it's safe to assume that Balk is on some sort of vacay. No?
I was going to say– Choire posted this? Did Balked get k-crimed?
We switched duties for the afternoon! It's fun!
FREAKY FRIDAY!!!
I figured the intersection of knifecrime and Parliamentary politics was too much for Balk to take, and his head asplode…
Is that the entrance wound there, 'twixt his brows?
i'd stab him.
He probably could've avoided it if he didn't look so quintessentially British. He's mastered the frowny-smile.
This is like that time Margaret Thatcher got sporked by a pensioner.
oi – stop that.
@scroll: I laughed at your comment *on the outside*.
Classy
@dontbother- that's what Maggie said, too.
If only they'd have aimed for that chin mole, at least it would be justifiable.
Stabbed at a surgery no less. In Britain even the mentally ill understand irony.
Teachable Moments:
Juvenile Knifecriminals into Plastic Surgeons = Lemons into Mike's Hard Lemonade(TM), no?
He looks awfully smug for a man whose lips are the same color as his face.
Perhaps the causation is the other way around: David Brooks also sports the same air of smugness.
It must be nice to have people who do the work for you Choire.
You can't make this shit up.
I KNIFED THAT – TWO TIMMS
TIMM'S CUT
Assailant remained cool as cucumber?
Doesn't that haircut call for immediate, forced installation in the nearest Home?
Oh, and speaking of the pedophile from Happiness…
you just stabbed a knife into my HEART! i went looking for a pic and found this: http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030321/143543__ThePitts_l.jpg
"Goodbye Steve, don't let the knife hit you in the stomach on the way out."
Standards are slipping
"In 2000, a Liberal Democrat councillor was murdered by a man with a samurai sword at the offices of Cheltenham member of parliament Nigel Jones, who was also seriously hurt in the attack."
Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/British+stabbed+office/3028960/story.html#ixzz0nw1EL1mo