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Knifecrime Island Advice Columnist Advocates Stabby Solution To Heartbreak
"I'd suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex's face, and then no one will want her."
-Actor/celebrity advice columnist Danny Dyer advises a reader of Britain's Zoo magazine on how to get over a recent breakup. Dyer claims he was misquoted, and the magazine blames "an extremely regrettable production error," but, come on, this is Britain. It seems like pretty standard counsel.
#SARCASM?
I think it's more a case of #CLEVERDICKFAIL
#needs mansplaining
"I didn't say, 'cut your ex's face.' I said 'slash' your ex's face.
I believe the original was "… fucking cut your ex's fucking face."
We need a Begbie icon for these stories.
Spud = My Hero. "Pleasure. in otherpeoples. LEISure."
It's easy to judge, but cut the guy a break. His heart was in the right place. He was only trying to help.
I have been completely misquoted. This is not the advice I would give any member of the public
Of course not, this advise requires private consultation and a fee.
"Production Error" = some layout jockey thought that shit would be funny and nobody ever noticed.
Fave production error I ever committed – accidentally left the counterpoint out of a point-counterpoint spread in a college newspaper. Just left that whole half of the page blank.
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
We've been having our pre-digital back issues scanned for archiving purposes and someone noticed on the masthead in an 80s issue was someone named 'Iggy Pop'
I would like to subscribe to your…
When is The Awl going to have a British advice columnist? "ASK STABBY" would be fucking awesome.
Correction: "DEAR STABBY".
You know what we never talk about in these posts but should? Danger Mouse.
Hey, he got the knife in, didn't he? Right?