19
Jews Now Able To Drink Heavily, Repress Emotions
Nearly fifteen years after it was declared that Asians are the new Jews, Elena Kagan's nomination to the Supreme Court apparently means that Jews are the new WASPS. I'm not sure what it all signifies, but clearly there is an opportunity somewhere for an ethnic group with moxie and hustle to snap up the vacancy these two promotions have created. I'd suggest Italians, but, you know.
WASPS: Oppress all you damn want, you still can't make us funny.
Mel Brooks is a WASP? Are WE WASPs?!
Wow, Slate was around in 1996.
I know, right?
Where does this leave WASPs?
behind the locked gates of Country Clubs.
As long as I can still drink.
I think we're now what Lovecraft would call "The Old Ones." Which is cool as I've been kind of a shapeless crawling ooze for some time now.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Henry Cabot Lodge Massachusetts wgah'nagl fhtagn!
I think Henry Cabot Wgah'nagl fhtagn lives down the road in Lexington.
The Cabots talk only to Lodges and the Lodges talk only to Azathoth.
But who are the new blacks?
Hispanics.
Does this mean blacks are the new Asians?
It's like musical chairs, you're saying.
But white people ALWAYS get a chair.
Rule.
I think the Irish could use a new slot.
Going after WASPS and Italians in one post; trying piss of Jolie today, Mr. Balk?
technically, given the makeup of the current supreme court, doesn't this make jews the new catholics? which actually makes a lot of sense, when you think about it…