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Grizzly Bear/Polar Bear Combo Discovered, Dispatched
There is more news about "grolar bears," those grizzly/polar bear hybrids who are expected to become more common as our decaying environment brings the two species into closer contact: Biologists in Canada's Northwest Territories have confirmed the existence of yet another "pizzly," as they are also known. This one, in fact, was a hybrid 2.0- "the result of a female grizzly-polar hybrid mating with a male grizzly bear." It was also shot to death and its pelt is expected to fetch a ton of money due to its rarity. But let's not focus on that part.
Bloody paw makes for sad emoticons.
The future hold such wonders! That we will kill!
Just wait till they ally themselves with the machines…
There's a Polar Bear in my Grizzly Bear,
He liked her so they both got bare,
His meat in her seat,
They created a mule,
Then a hunter saw it,
And made it a footstool.
Probably the best way to protect these is to make sure their pelt is worth A LOT of money.
Listicle Without Commentary: The Grolar Bear's 2 Mortal Enemies: 1) Climate Change 2) Cheerleader Ninjas
If I were smart enough, I'd make a funny "bipolar bear" joke right here.
I kinda read "Grizzly Bear/Panda Bear" combo and I was like "you guys, this isn't Pitchfork, don't take about earnest, terrible schlock-pop here."