Friday, May 21st, 2010
30

Ah, The Cup Of Life (And Love)

wine-glass-pour"Marriage is like water. You have to drink it. Swinging is like wine. Some people feel it's delicious the first time they try it, so they keep drinking. Some people try it and think it tastes bad, so they never drink it again."
Ma Yaohai, a resident of China who has been sentenced to three and a half years in prison for what the government calls "crowd licentiousness," i.e., engaging in group sex. The 53-year-old Ma was a member of swingers' clubs who held some 18 orgies in the two-bedroom apartment that he shared with his mother. China's laws against sex acts involving three or more people are punishable by prison terms of up to five years.

30 Comments / Post A Comment

carpetblogger (#306)

The article does not make clear if the law looks more or less favorably on sex acts involving three or more people if one of them is someone's mother.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Your mom doesn't like you reading her diary.

My reading of the Peoples's Republic policy is that provided only one of the participants is her child, it's all good.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Prison should offer him ample opportunity for "crowd licentiousness", which I believe is the actual intake process for new inmates.

saythatscool (#101)

Kiss me like you love me.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Pucker up, baby.

saythatscool (#101)

I disagree. I think marriage is more like a ham sandwich. You have to have a coming together to make a whole. Whereas, swinging is more like a crudité, because a lot of different sticks are dipped in the same receptacle.

No wait, marriage is like an eggplant caponata…

La Cieca (#1,110)

"… and then my momma said that swingers are like people who take a bite out of a chocolate and then put it back in the box."

saythatscool (#101)

Your mother has a filthy mouth, Cieca.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Mama Cass agreed with your assessment of marriage. She wishes she'd accepted the proposal of Dr. Henry Heimlich when she had the chance.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@STC: Stop talking with your mouth full of Ma Yaohai.

Marriage is a Ferrari that got totalled by a backhoe.

deepomega (#1,720)

I've always thought marriage is more like fresh boysenberries – you gotta load it up with a whole lot of extra sugar to make it palatable. Whereas swinging is more like a foil packet of Capri Sun – if you're not careful opening it you'll make a damn mess all over your mom's couch.

So Viking's exotic resort is a midtown deli's hot buffet?

saythatscool (#101)

@res: Precisely! A Ukrainian deli!

La Cieca (#1,110)

"Other people say, 'Ugh, I can totally taste some other guy's spit in here'."

sigerson (#179)

This caught my eye: "One notable swingers case took place in the early 1980s, when the leader of a swingers club involving four middle-aged couples was executed, she added."

THAT is the most depressing thing I have read all week. How much did that have to suck? Get EXECUTED for a little three-way with some middle-aged strange? Damn, skippy, that's some harsh justice.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Talk about harsh: they also deliberately screw up the order on your last meal.

roboloki (#1,724)

the upside is it's ready in ten minutes.

das motorbike (#3,228)

"Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex." http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12152006

deepomega (#1,720)

All that COMMOTION.

BadUncle (#153)

If swinging is like wine, then cheating is like doing keg stands. And onanism with a cordless, vibrating Ben Wa ball is like doing shots of Peach Schnapps while smoking a White Owl.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

In countries where S&M is illegal, how do they punish people who are into it without actually making their day?

China's laws against sex acts involving three or more people are punishable by prison terms of up to five years.

What about sex acts involving a billion or more people?

scroll_lock (#4,122)

You better order an extra one of those party subs from Subway.

Hooligans!

Abe Sauer (#148)

China should just do what the US does and leave punishing this stuff up to God.

deepomega (#1,720)

There aren't too many situations where "China should just do what the US does" couldn't be applied.

HiredGoons (#603)

Marriage. That must be nice.

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