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Adventures in Facebook Privacy: Local Women Angered By "Wetbacks"
It's been a little over a month since Facebook changed its privacy policy, making people's Facebook walls public. So now we know that happily married mother Tiffany Hodges is really worried about our "towelhead lover" president having met with the "wetback" President of Mexico in our White House! (When she's not busy with her Farmville.) Meanwhile, in Modesto, Sandro Coral, mother of Steven and Marsha Garcia, is angry at her ex: "oh now this motherfucker remembers his sons….fucken bastard where was he when they really needed him?!!… oh but now this fucking wetback wants my son!!!!! to fix his papers so this fucking wetback bastard wont get deported…fucking son of a bitch!!!!!" Oh, you two.
YOUR MOVE ABE.
needs a "sauerbait" tag
Abe:
In Choire's defense, these are getting really funny.
Love,
STC (not my real name)
I'm about to piss my sombrero with delight
Fuck yeah, I love how this has gone from a critique of how megarich powers that be like Facebook don't give a flying fuck about the people who trust them, to how individual everyday schmos are fucking huge racists with tons of social problems like husbands that abandon them with a bunch of children. Ha. SUCKERS! Let's call this new series "So Ignorant We Don't Know About Facebook Settings!" I am seriously excited about The Awl posting like 1,000 of these (NOT KIDDING).
I find these reductive formulaic posts detrimental to the editorial mission of The Awl. I will not be clicking the American Express PASS ad (also: don't have any teens). RESPEK THE FORM.
all facetiousness aside, and ignoring for a moment the particulars of this feature or its shifted goals or continuation, is it never appropriate to excoriate/humiliate individual everyday schmoes? is there no mark twain-ish nobility to it? is it not worth it to try to make people ashamed of their flaunted bigotry, even as a dubious baby step toward some social equilibrium? should hatefulness go unhated? don't politicians try to hide behind this "i'm just a regular schmo like you" horseshit all the time as a way of excusing ignorance and scummy rhetoric?
Oh, Choire, I see what you're doing there. Nice.
Actually why IS Choire posting these? He doesn't seem as though he'd enjoy making fun of these people. Whom I'm happy not to know but never mind. Is he trying to get FB to change?
@Miles: There is certainly a place for humiliating everyday people. But it's not on a random website to a bunch of strangers because that doesn't humiliate, it only angers. You think anyone that gets selected to have their pages here mocked is going to think "Oh, gosh, that WAS stupid of me. I see now that I'm not a good person." or are they going to say "FUUUUUUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKS!! YOU ARE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF FUCKING HATERS LIKE OBAMA AND FAGGOTTS AND YOU WANT THOSE WETBACKS TO HAVE MY JOB DON;T YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES." I'm guessing the 2nd.
@Annie: I don't think Abe and Choire are that far apart on this issue, actually. I don't think that either believes that these "private" messages should be made available to the public.
The only problem is, the more Choire posts, the funnier it gets to me and the more I think that this should be public. So everything is kinda backfiring right now for me at least.
@Abe:FUCKEN WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER FUCKER FUCKIN HPOCRIT PIECE OF SHIT!! FUCKIN CATHOLIC MY ASS!!
@abe yeah i'd have to agree with that, pretty much. i guess it just got me thinking about the RIGHT place for that kind of humiliation? i dunno, it's a tough question.
incidentally i am with you in wishing fewer contributors here chose to remain anonymous, but i suppose that's another tricky choice.
@saythatscool: I truly admire your fluency in opposing discourses — the vocabulary, the formatting, you're in control of it all.
@saythatscool: Plus sentence structure, I forgot to mention sentence structure.
@Annie: The phrase "FUCKIN CATHOLIC MY ASS!!" is still making me laugh. I can't stop.
I'm originally from the South where this is sort of commonplace, and I've played Devil's Advocate in classes and said things like, "There are racists in my family! And I love them!" But this is not stuff like my grandmother being nervous about the black family moving in next door. Plus, she doesn't have a Facebook account onto which to publish embarrassing and shockingly racist statements.
But still: Facebook wins, and The Real America loses.
@saythatscool: Plus rhythm, poetic musical magical rhythem, you're in control of it all.
@Miles (and I guess Abe). I'll use the standard No One Knows Anyone on the Internet disclaimer of I've talked to Choire (IRL!) like 3 times and literally met Cho once, but I can only think of one person who is a contributor whom I don't know. I can't even think of four who don't post under their real name — and every name on this list is 'real'. Charlie is the only one who isn't writing fiction or something else where their identity is entirely immaterial (and I would argue hers isn't either).
I should qualify that with know 'who they are.' I've met more of the Awl contributors than the average bear (or cat) to be sure, but I 'know' a far smaller subset.
I would not mind catholicing you ass, sir.
@Miles — my job specifically prohibits posting on blogs, so….
It'll be such a productive meeting: Obama can take the towel off his head and use it to dry Calderon's back. Problem solved.
+ 1 Google
(howling with laughter)
well played, sir… well played indeed.
Oh, that is just the best.
this should definitely get the comment award thing!
Meanwhile Steven Garcia's facebook status is"
"marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!"
FUCK THAT FUCKEN WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER FUCKER FUCKIN HPOCRIT PIECE OF SHIT!! FUCKIN CATHOLIC MY ASS!!
I'm more offended by the Farmville part.
"Tiffany could use some help fertilizing their crops"
Does Tiffany have multiple personalities or something?
Funny that she's not making the connection between immigration and farm work.
I know some wetbacks who would help her for a reasonable wage.
Even her brown people have blue eyes.
@Goons: Except that she wouldn't pay them. She'd buy a couple bottles of
tequila, pass them out, and when the whole crew got drunk, she would call the cops, to remove them from the property.
I have seen this, in Beverly Hills. It's unfortunately standard practice.
Goons, it's time for those chinge Martinis.
Can't Tiffany build a school in Farmville so she can go there and learn how to spell?
…and conjugate the verb to be.
INSTIGATOR!
She looks like a dog, too.
such a bitch
Goddamnit, second time this happens to me today.
Is this Facebook feature supposed to make me lose all faith in humanity and despair for the future of the Earth? OK good, that's what I thought.
Maybe this is subjective, but Tiffany looks like a total dog.
I'm currently Choire-baiting my Facebook wall. Anyone else?
FUCK! I deleted my account because I thought THAT would be the cool thing this week. Oops.
LOVE it. Who cares how productive it is. More please.
This comment is about FarmVille, right?
Facebook.
Why isn't there a "subsidy" thing you can get in that game?
@Abe Sauer: Maybe they could pay me not to play.
Twitter.
We could track all the illegals with FourSquare.
They're so unsupportive of my tree farm. I want some land use credits, c'mon!
@Abe Sauer: yeah, or "Monsanto RoundUp Advantage" credits?
@HG: Mayor Badge > INS Badge
@gumplr: 'Ricardo is the Mayor of this detention facility.'
@gumblr: I think you're mistakenly playing SlaughterhouseVille.
Sandra Coral may use salty language, but she appears to be quite skilled at Bingo Island!
I can round up a whole bunch of mi primos and we can fertilze her farmvilla, no problemo. no tools necessary!
i could live with her bigotry, but the ONLY movie she has listed is "dirty dancing"…i would soo ice her now.
It figures somebody with a stripper name like Tiffany listens to the Nuge. Ironically, she also listens to Mr. Johnny Cash, who's outspoken opposition to racism earned him death threats from the Klan.
BTW, Choire, how are you casting your net for Facebook comedy? Is there some kind of Search For Idiots box?
Yes! http://youropenbook.org/
don't know how I missed that. But now, it's a treasured heirloom.
Just testing the waters with a few favored search terms, I came across this:
"I want his choad in my anus. if anyone finds him please tell him i want his black ass."
holy shit this is amazing!
You guys, if I link to this post on my Facebook and caption it, "This is what I think of you all," that's just being part of the problem, isn't it? I'm sorry, you guys.
You guys? Gah, you sound like one of those people who aren't Choire and Balk.
#still waters run cheap
"I'm not just a customer, I'm a customer."
Tip for web loggers: it isn't racist if, you know, it's true.
Sounds like Sandra needs to have her boobs handled by that asian lady man more often.
http://tinyurl.com/28wlf7j
To be fair, this is the caldorone she's so angry about.
She seems to be making plenty of her own fertilizer, no help needed!
Oops, I meant Tiffany, not Stephanie. Who the hell am I trying to correct anyone on anything?
Bitch needs a Cosmo and a shitty cupcake and CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
Wait, now where the hell is my comment I was correcting? The second I post this it's going to appear too, the Internet is such a boob.
It went:
Well when you enter 'wetback' into OpenBook, what do you expect?
Then I said something to Tiffany, only I called her Stephanie accidentally. Anyway, it was going to be about how it wasn't the White House, it was the Capitol. But then I realized that was futile and gave up the thought mid-stream, though in fact that was an affectation I had planned all along.
Also, that poor dog.
Hey, at least he doesn't have a clue what she's saying, unlike the rest of us.
"WHEN WILL THIS NITEMARE END AND THE COURTMARSHALLS BEGIN????" is my new t-shirt. On sale now!
I loved that photo where COURTMARSHALLS flashed her cookie in the New Yorker
oh, COURTMARSHALLS has been killing me with the LOLs.
You've all been duped. Tiffany Hodges is Choire's drag name.
WIN.
Oh yeah well how do you pronounce it then??
Can we see a small cute graphic of TIFFANY HODGES run over by a
Monsanto tractor,
saying "Tiffany Hodges did not pay her MONSANTO bill
this year, and is using patented seeds from last year. Also, they need
Monsanto fertilizer and Super Round-Up (for weeds)
But she voted Republican, against farm-subsidies.
Can you help her?"
i have to say the idea of a more modern & realistic farm land is pretty appealing.