Wacky Georgia Legislature Fairly Representative Of Its Constiutents
In its infinite desire to protect its citizens from the horrors of Obamacare, the Georgia Assembly is considering a bill that would "prohibit requiring a person to be implanted with a microchip." You might chuckle to yourself and think, "What a bunch of yahoos, wasting valuable time on a useless piece of legislation that will only serve to stoke the fears of the most gullible or mentally vulnerable residents of the state." Well, stifle your laughter, you elitist liberal snob: The mentally vulnerable in Georgia come pre-stoked. A woman testifying before a committee holding a hearing on the bill told of her own fears.
Microchips, the woman began, "infringe on issues that are fundamental to our very existence. Our rights to privacy, our rights to bodily integrity, the right to say no to foreign objects being put in our body."
She spoke of the "right to work without being tortured by co-workers who are activating these microchips by using their cell phones and other electronic devices."
She continued. "Microchips are like little beepers. Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city. All done without your permission," she said.
It was not funny, and no one laughed.
"Ma'am, did you say you have a microchip?" asked state Rep. Tom Weldon (R-Ringgold).
"Yes, I do. This microchip was put in my vaginal-rectum area," she replied.
You would think at this point those responsible for the bill would hang their heads in shame and sorrow, that they would feel so deeply humiliated and embarrassed about proposing legislation so bizarre on its face that it would attract exactly the kind of mentally disturbed person that it did, but actually no: They just sent her on her way and passed the bill.
How would you know? Like how would you really know? Did anyone ask to see a picture or something?
Say it taint so…
Ha!
the bill was sponsored by CHIP pearson. the call is coming from inside your rectum!
Obamacare will cover tin-foil hats.
The federal legislation will preempt their ass and they'll all get chips anyway. Fired straight into their privates from black helicopters.
tag and release!
Dammit, Mom!
Why is it that whenever the Dept. of Defense implants a microchip in a woman's vaginal-rectum area people automatically assume it's because DoD wants to display the woman's beeper number on billboards all over Atlanta, but when I do it it's all just a clever ruse to disguise a fake orgasm?
I once was at a hearing (for work) in Brooklyn and listened to a guy who said he was sent to Egypt to prevent them from putting a white (persons) nose on the sphinx. He also designed nuclear submarines used by the navy.
#vajazzachipping, #pagerpeens
What a bunch of backward rubes. In Virginia, our legislators outlawed forcible microchip implantation MONTHS ago.
http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2010-02/virginia-legislators-outlaw-microchips-implanted-against-persons-will
my uncle is a member of the georgia assembly and he used to be chair of the house education committee. the shit he used to tell me about stuff people proposed or "solutions" they came up with… they = being pretty much anyone not from atlanta. based on his stories i'm pretty sure most of the senators and pretty much all of the representatives are a step below functioning morons.
Can someone explain to me how implanting a human with a chip is the mark of the beast but implanting a chip in your pet is a convenient way to find them if they run away? (also, do you just run them over a supermarket scanner to find out the owner's name?)
Yes, you run them over. Then they're very easy to find.
your dog is a spawn of satan
That explains the extra head…
FYI: "On October 12, 2004, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved VeriChip for medical applications in the United States. The approval will allow VeriChip to be used to confirm identity, and check the blood type, potential allergies and medical history of unconscious patients…"
http://epic.org/privacy/rfid/verichip.html
See, this says NOTHING of billboards.
Well this was 2004, before those kinds of social networking apps had been developed.
The good folks at EPIC (the Electronic Privacy Information Center, which has fought many a good fight over the years) recommended the prohibition of "chipping people" back at the time of the FDA approval of, well, chipping people.
The point is, just because people are paranoid schizophrenic or from south of Hoboken doesn't mean they're wrong.
Actually paranoid schizophrenics do tend to be wrong about this kind of thing.
Well, that woman did get chipped, so, y'know. EPIC fail.
Let's hope this poor lady doesn't have heart trouble and need a pacemaker implanted, because it might send her right over the edge. (farther over the edge?)
I live in Georgia. Down here we refer to statements like the one in that headline as "fighting words," Balk.
Well, possibly "fightin' words." But you get the idea.
Much as schizophrenics had the lead in promulgating the whole "implanted microchip" thing, and much as they will continue to be called upon by equally delusional legislators in the service of passing frivolous and bills, there is (as always) a grain of sanity in the hysteria.
Microchip technology has been approved by the FDA for use in humans, and will be put to use in the next few years. The average citizen however, has nothing to fear. It is those folks who have come under the thumb of the state who will be at the front of the line.
Sex offenders, the severely mentally ill, illegal immigrants etc are all of a category whose civil rights are sketchy at best. It is they who will be involuntary participants in yet another experiment in social engineering.
So…there seem to be a lot of Awl commentators worried about microchip implantation. I mean…just pointing out the obvious.
My microchip? My microchip seems so smart but I'm also scared about my microchip.
Whispers: (What an ugly microchip)
You know, if she'd just shut up and become "mayor" of the psychiatric hospital already, she'd probably get a deal on a vaginal-rectum area exam.
I don't know about you guys but I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.