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UK General Election To End Stabbingly
Knifecrime Island Stabber-In-Chief Gordon "One-Eye" Brown went off to the Queen for her permission to dissolve Parliament, and now the elections are on for May 6. Most are predicting a hung Parliament (you can learn what that means here!), and it's not unlikely that the Conservatives will win a narrow majority; also, they are running on a platform of "hope" and "change." (That means something different in England, though, since they're already a socialist monarchy.) The English are excited, of course: "Quick! Gordon Brown is in Kent! Lets go raid his fridge!!" is how the kinder Twitters are going. (Fridge is slang for "face" and raid is slang for "stab.")
One-eye bit of a low blow, no? Not that I would expect any better from the Awl.
Francis Urquhart for Prime Minister.
"Alistair, darling, why is there both a Knifecrime Island and an England tag?"
FUN! Is the most appropriate of them all, for this post. Who has time to GET OUT THE VOTE feat. Will.i.am with only a month-long campaign season?
I would pretty much happily give up on campaign finance reform in the U.S. if candidates were only allowed to campaign for a month before an election.
What a fucking waste of time this is. The most damaging accusation that can be made against a politician in modern Britain is that he secretly believes in something.
To be successful you have to 'inhabit the center ground', be a 'moderate', to see yourself described with phrases that not only mean nothing but are esteemed precisely because they mean nothing.
that knifecrime island stuff is getting pretty old. who would of thought that an island that has gun control laaws has more crime commited with knifes,HOLLY SHHiT!!!GOtta blog this!!!