To: The Staff of I Can Haz LLC
From: Choire Sicha
Re: My Free Expression

David, I know you're busy with the accountant, preparing our 2009 taxes (which: LOL), but I wanted to bring to the company's attention my Barack Obama-given right to pump my breast milk at work, as well as the right of all our wonderful contributors to come into the office, pump their breast milk, and then depart (with or without it). You boys might not have this as a high priority, hence this memo. My right to a "reasonable break time" in the pursuit of milk expression is now the law of the land, as it is for both employees and nonexempt hourly workers, at companies larger than 50 employees, and other companies, such as ourselves, that wish to become real companies.

Furthermore, you will notice that I must be provided with a room other than the bathroom that is both private and "free from intrusion" by both co-workers and the public, where I may pump my breast milk. Please begin construction on this room. (I would like it to be free from intrusion by the cat as well, but there's nothing in the law about that, I don't think.)

So. Where is my pumping station? Do not make me call Mary HK Choi over here. If you go visit a real business, you will see a pumping station about every 20 feet (that's the little room that's usually being used-by men!-to make cell phone calls). If you want some advice, you could ask Nick Denton-Gawker Media has a headcount of more than 50, so they'll definitely be installing a pumping station in their groovy, open plan, glass conference room havin' office.

I will follow up on this memo in 2014, when I Can Haz LLC is going to be forced somehow to provide us with health insurance. Unless I have died from lack of health care by then, which actually isn't entirely impossible.

CAS/hs