The 17 Absolute Worst, Least Worthwhile, Utterly Embarrassing Posts Published On The Awl In Its First Year
17. Janet Malcolm's Abandoned Autobiography
16. Bless Your Heart, Bhairavi Desai
15. Lone German Helping NYC the Only Way He Knows How
14. Even Actors Find Out that the New Currency is Attention
13. ChatRoulette Explained: Hot Girls Don't Get Nexted
12. Dim Princeton Freshman Signs Herself Up For Lonely, Friendless Four Years
11. How To Ruin Valentine's Day For Straight People
10. Cat Blizzard Videos Made By People Who Should Have Cats Taken Away
9. How To Stop The Internet Comments
8. What Were Black People Talking About on Twitter Last Night?
7. My Baby? My Baby Seems So Smart But I'm Also Scared About My Baby
6. The Brevity of Enthusiasms, or, OMFG 'Avatar' FTW!
5. How To Barbecue A Turkey-The Super Easy Way For Morons
4. Stop Being a Wuss: How To Make Pie Crusts the Easy Way
3. Listicle without Commentary: The 85 Best Morrissey Solo Songs, In Order
2. How To Make A Pizza
1. Perez Hilton Hates Miss California And He's Right?
NO. How to Barbecue a Turkey is possibly my all-time most favorite The Awl post. I sent it to my father, for chrissakes.
MORE THE AWL COOKING IN YEAR 2.
Yes, more sweary cooking, please!
@cherri: If you email me at justsayjolie at the gmail I will send you my SICHA REJECTED recipe for "How to Roast a Fucking Chicken in which I advocate for the molestation of fowl.
Foul molestation of fowl? Sign me up.
Aw come on…I loved the Cat Blizzard Videos post.
My co-editor? My co-editor seems so smart but I'm also scared about my co-editor.
Dammit! You got there first.
Oh I cannot wait for Choire's response.
fa efsadfa dwad
I say My Baby? My Baby Seems So Smart But I'm Also Scared About My Baby at least once a fortnight.
Yes me too, me too!
Also, the dim Princeton freshman, and how to make pie crusts – you cannot be serious to find these worthless????
I love that one!! Also Pie Crusts and Cat Blizzard Videos??!? Fie.
I sent it to friends of mine who are expecting and they loved it so much they printed it out and put it on the fridge as a warning to themselves.
REMOVE PIE CRUSTS RIGHT NOW
Says my brain to my stomach, always.
But I do appreciate the fact, Alex, that you did not place the cranberry sauce how-to on this listicle.
alsfkhlsfkhlaskhf CRANBERRY SAUCE MUST GO WATCH IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW ALKSFHLKSHLSKFHLSKHLSFKH
Alex, I dislike you.
Really? This post didn't make #1? I read this site for the meta, guys. Sheesh!
That's for next year's list.
I personally like several of the ones on this list. Is this meant to be ironic?
Oh come on! "My baby?" was a thing of beauty.
I call shenanigans.
I think it's safe to say someone went to This Little Piggy for lunch and didn't let someone else know.
I think it's also safe to say that someone is going to get Cat thrown at his face in the next ten minutes or so.
ALL HAIL "My Baby? My Baby Seems So Smart But I'm Also Scared About My Baby"! I WILL ACCEPT NO OTHER GOD AND MASTER!
I want to tattoo it onto my torso
= Awl 24k GOLD.
Mmm… the are all Choire's???
*they*
You might surmise from the post below that if my observation was "original," it took me two whole minutes to type like nine words. This, sadly, is true.
Oh! They are all by Choire. I get jokes.
Brothers and Sisters, chill out and enjoy the annual airing of the grievances.
Yes.
and then the Feats of Strength.
18. "Does Working at Home Really Let You Spend More Time With Your Cats?"
-"They will be asking the question of whether more time with cats is really more time with cats."
When does Year 2 Change Bowl commence?
This seems like a Cho-sourced request for more internal linking.
It's awfully nice of Balk to give the extra clicks to Choire, for when the Awl adopts a unique-viewer-based comp structure (to be paid in Change Bowl distributions).
Deeeeep Linking
What, not a single post about shilling for n+1?
I love the Maoist self-criticism. What's on tap for the new 5-Year Plan?
Stakahnovite rations for all!
If I had known the Bhairavi Desai post would end up on a list like this, I would have said something at the time.
POOR BHAIRAVI DESAI.
Needs more Matt Cherette Is Going To Move To New York City.
Agreed. That was so Denton-ish.
Where be the Ke$ha profile in this list? I'd rather read all of Janet "Even Janet Malcolm Doesn't Know Who the Fuck She Is" Malcolm's autobiography than coverage of Kesszhuh. Let David Frickey write about Kashi, or Kevlar, or Vespa, or however I'm supposed to pronounce it.
Not only are they all by Choire, but the one ranked No.1 on the list was Choire's very first post when the site first went "live," I think.
wrong wrong wrong. i love my baby. i'm scared the awl doesn't love my baby as much as I love my baby. please remove from this list. my baby.
hey, did the bar results come out yet?