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Earth Day: We're Doing Our Part
In honor of Earth Day 2010, The Awl has decided to help the environment by going completely paperless today. So don't print anything out that you see here until tomorrow, okay? I also personally pledge not to piss on any trees this evening, no matter how drunk I am or how full my bladder. Plus, we're going to make all our slugs ("This Just In," What A World," etc.) green, to symbolize our commitment to nature. I think if we all pull together we can really make some positive changes that will help save the planet. Please share your earth-friendly solutions below! Do remember that using the caps lock key adds ten kilowatt hours to every letter typed, so if you need to be emphatic stick with italics, thanks.
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-25223-West-Palm-Beach-Motherhood-Examiner~y2010m4d19-Six-easy-ways-to-celebrate-the-Earth-Day
I plan to drink outside today, saving many many kilowatt hours in bar fluorescent lighting.
Also, I will only masturbate manually.
So, I shouldn't use this today?
http://kenoath.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/dildo.jpg
I going to wear eco friendly diapers.
I'm not going to flush or wash my hands afterwards.
I'm using anti bacterial hand lotion in lieu of condoms.
"LIBRAL COMMIE OBAMABOTS WILL HAVE 2 PRY MY CAPSLOCK FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS"
No! Stop! Your ruining everything
I read that as 'pantless' and was all oh wow, that'll make for a fun day in the ApartOffice!
(This is me being obedient and I hate it. *footstomp, pout*)
I am offended that you did not set the background of the page to black! Black sounds like a more environmentally friendly color than white, because it is darker! Like turning off the lights!
Okay, only local, organic cocaine tonight.
Free range Meth, with shade grown Heroin for Me.
I will only shit in the fields on the way back from the bars. Well, okay, people's front yards.
Also, no pants today. Saves the ladies the energy of even attempting interest.
I ruined the curb appeal of my house with an ugly plastic rain barrel!
I'm gonna try to hold my breath all day to cut down my own personal carbon footprint.
If attacked by bears I pledge to spray no aerosol repellents. I will rely completely on natural fiber two-by-fours.
Watch out for pressure treated lumber. That stuff can leach into our soils…and eventually into our bear population.
On second thought, use ONLY pressure treated lumber.
i will make a bonfire of all the styrofoam cups i've collected for the past year. i will then toss in several empty cans of hairspray and freon.
My office building management sent out an email about recycling unwanted computers. They then nullified that by printing that email out and putting it on everyone's desk.
What are we doing for Earth Move Day?