Developmental Milestones: The Awl At One
As The Awl observes its one-year anniversary today, we thought it might be good to spend some time in self-assessment. What better tool to use for this self-inventory than the CDC's "Important Milestones: By the End of One Year (12 Months)"?
Social and Emotional
â– Shy or anxious with strangers
At the very least, The Awl often does not play well with others.
â– Cries when mother or father leaves
Especially dislikes when David Cho is "out at meetings" (consuming Korean beef products).
â– Enjoys imitating people in his play
Oh, sure.
â– Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys
Mm hmm.
â– Tests parental responses to his behavior
Cough.
Repeats sounds or gestures for attention
No doubt.
Cognitive
â– Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)
Shaking; bangin'; throwing.
â– Finds hidden objects easily
â– Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver)
I'll let you know when I finish this newly-legal cat stiletto smush video.
Language
â– Pays increasing attention to speech
Hmm….
â– Responds to simple verbal requests
You ask, we e'splain!
â– Responds to "no"
Or responds with "no"?
â– Babbles with inflection (changes in tone)
Definitely!
â– Uses exclamations, such as "Oh-oh!"
Quite regularly!
â– Tries to imitate words
I mean. Is there anything else we do but imitate words?
Are you saying there's something other than a polar bear?
Or sheep/pig?
Seriously. If that is like a lady carrying grocery bags instead of a shark jumping out of water upside down, I am out of here.
Falcor?
[still working]
Really, is there more than a swimming white rat or weasel?
http://oyebilly.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/stoat.jpg
Clearly we at True/Slant took the wrong approach when we looked back and took measure of our first year. Foiled by The Awl again!
Which is of course my way of saying many many more
Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver)
Choire's desire for a phone that doesn't get calls might seem to fall into — or rather out of — this category.
Also, Bably Milestone People, it's "UH-OH," not "Oh-oh." Unless your baby is Billy Idol.
The Awl needs Ritalin.
AdderAwl?
To be countered by SeconAwl?
I'm concerned about The Awl's movement milestones after last night's anniversary gala and also every day.
Reaches sitting position without assistance
Crawls forward on belly
Assumes hands-and-knees position
Creeps on hands and knees
Gets from sitting to crawling or prone (lying on stomach) position
Pulls self up to stand
Walks holding on to furniture
Stands momentarily without support
May walk two or three steps without support
It's like watchin Dylan and Eric grow up all over again.
Too soon or not soon enough?
How soon is now?
Today's also that day, you know. 11 yrs. At least the Harrises have a generic name but the Klebolds is effed.
Sometimes I worry about my website.
You fill the Suck-shaped hole in the internet.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss Suck.
What, no "consuming Korean meat products" jokes yet? I think we're AWL a little off our game here.
*beef. *illustrates own point* *decides hangover is too debilitating and goes back to bed*
If you're using human milestones, does that mean The Awl won't financially support itself until it's 29?
That change bowl isn't gonna fill itself. It really isn't.
Hey, I'm 29, and I'll have you know I do not support myself yet.
Not looking forward to the Terrible Twos. I'm going to stock up on electrical socket plugs.
Love you as we do, it will be a relief when you stop shitting your pants and gumming our nipples.
Speak for yourself. I want to experience this forever.
You still have becoming somewhat continent to look forward to by year three or so. Unless that's not a goal.
Whispers: God what an ugly baby.
But look at that adorable xylophone!
OMG I'VE INSULTED THE WRONG BABY!