Monday, April 19th, 2010

Get Your Twitter Titles While They Last

"Thanks I'll Tweet It Here": Still available, but probably only useful to Lockhart SteeleNew York runs a story today by Awl pal Doree Shafrir about the "new generation of tech entrepreneurs in the city" who are "trying to overthrow old media and build a better New York." Naturally the piece is headlined "Tweet Tweet Bang Bang," a reference to the San Francisco-based Twitter. This is probably because most journalists only know two emerging tech companies, and "Foursquare" makes for lousy punning. Not satisfied with taking just one Twitter headline off the table, New York doubles up, referring to the story on the cover as "Life Is Tweet." As a service to those of our friends in the media who are desperate to sex up a story with a headline featuring some variation of Twitter in its title, we've compiled a brief list of what's already been taken, and a shorter selection of what's still available. HURRY.

Already Used
"We Got The Tweet"
"Such Tweet Sorrow"
"The Tweetest Thing"
"Rinse and Retweet"
"How Tweet It Is"
"Tweeting a Dead Horse"
"The Tweet Sheet"
"Tweet and Lovely"
"Cheap Tweets"
"Trick Or Tweet"
"Advance and Retweet"
"Tweets Don't Fail Me Now"
"If You Can't Stand The Tweet"
"Tweet of the Drum"
"No Mean Tweet"
"Tweet Week"
"Meet and Tweet"
Most variations of "It's Not The Tweet, It's The Humidity"
"I Twit You Not"

Still Good
"Tweeter Than Honey"
"As Tweet As They Come"
"Tweet and Sour"
"Home Tweet Home"
"On The Hot Tweet"
"Body Tweet"
"Tweets of Strength"
"Victory and Detweet" (also, "Detweet is an Orphan")
"Tweetings From Asbury Park"

"Tweet, Pray, Love," while not yet having been used as a headline, is in fact an actual Twitter feed, so you're gonna have to make a judgment call on that one. Otherwise I suggest sorting through the titles of old Looney Tunes shorts: there are bound to be a bunch of Sylvester cartoons that haven't been used. Probably the really racist ones. Good luck!

48 Comments / Post A Comment

Pintonator (#2,236)

Twit's a Living?

Seeing the forest for the tweets?

katiebakes (#32)

Tweeeeeeeeeeeet emoooooooootions.

dado (#102)

Separating the tweet from the chaff.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

The Whole World at Their Tweet or
The Pitter Patter of Tiny Tweets

davidwatts (#72)

Dancin in the Tweet
Come Rain, Tweet, Or Snow . . .

Zack (#2,609)

This post seems a bit off. Did you write it in the tweet of the night?

garge (#736)

No More Tweets (Enough is Enough)

Na Na Hey Hey Tweet Him Goodbye

I'll Be Tweeting You (Forever)

bb (#295)

I'll Be Tweeting You (Forever)
… Just the Way That You Want Me to Tweet

mmmark (#4,458)

It doesn't matter who is wrong or right
Just Tweet it, Tweet it

jfruh (#713)

The worst thing about the real headline is that, unlike the examples Balk cites, it isn't even a pun, unless it's working off of something other than "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (and if it is I can't guess at what). I mean, what possible justification is there for replacing "kiss" with "tweet"? They don't rhyme, nor do they share a vowel sound. Is it considered acceptable to just drop a trendy one-syllable word in place of an existing one-syllable word? This is headlinery that would be rightly sneered at by the Post's copy desk.

Tweet me deadly
The tweet of the vampire
Two girls, one tweet

You know it really is a lot easier this way.


kpants (#719)

He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Tweet)

LolCait (#460)

Midnight Tweet Train.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I wear my tweetglasses at night.

rajma (#2,918)

for tweet's sake
front row tweets
nice and tweet
the tweet generation
back tweet passes
tweat 'em up
tiger tweet
tweet surrender
tweet farmers
tweet tweet tweet/ the end of the century
the terrible tweets
to whisper tweet nothings
murder, my tweet
as my guitar gently tweets
get ur tweet on
a tweetcar named desire
annie get your tweet
season's tweetings
stuck on retweet
couples retweet

rajma (#2,918)

tweety todd, the demon barber of tweet sweet
tweet the feebles
kosher tweet
tweeting media lunch
tweeting arrangements
tweeting of the minds
the adventures of tweet and tweet
the tweet life of zack and cody
the tweet collective
sword of st. tweeter
little tweeter needs to fly
tweeting expletives
tweetsian negative capability
tweet bergamasque

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Frankly my dear, I don't give a twit.

kpants (#719)

Tweetle Dee and Tweetle Dum

LolCait (#460)

Twitter: Sweet Symphony.

keisertroll (#1,117)

The Twit Hithouse
Twits or GTFO
Tweet Your Meat

Tweet tweet manifesto
Down the twitter
Designated Twitter
Upperclass Tweet of the Year
Goodnight, Tweet Charlotte
Twits or get the fuck out
Twitters at an Exhibition
Little twitters have big ears
Glued to their tweets
Where the elite tweet
The tweetdown of a lifetime

Wall Stweet to Main Stweet.


-Officer Bunk.

I mean Detective.

Legs Battaglia (#2,484)

You mean Clay Davis!

theheckle (#621)

Tweet Caroline
Tweet's Company

kneetoe (#1,881)

I'd twit that.

(Well, hard to imagine what the story would be to go with the headline).

brianvan (#149)


KarenUhOh (#19)


punkthis (#243)

Twat on a Hot Tin Roof?

Bittersweet (#765)

Twat Ballou
The Twat from Outer Space
Twat's in the Cradle
(you're welcome, porn industry!)

"Show us your twits!!!"

julia simon (#4,465)

turn the tweet around

Limaceous (#2,392)

Bad news. "Tweet and Sour" is no longer available. The Economist took it last week.

"Tweet Black Pussy"?

Nichelle (#4,338)

sugar Tweet Sunshine

La Cieca (#1,110)

I did "Tweeter Than Roses" last week. Whew.

hazmathilda (#839)

twits or GTFO

punkthis (#243)

"Tweet fucking Christ, turn that goddamn thing off and come to bed. You have to take Jason to hockey practice in the morning because I have a meeting and I have to go over my fucking powerpoint."
"In a minute, tweetness, I just have to…"

Twit, or get off the pot.

Hold it, Doree's a girl?

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

Across 110th Tweet.

NinetyNine (#98)

Tweet Action: Women Positive pron in 140 characters.

keisertroll (#1,117)

God that Lowell George was cute.

Elfie Martin (#4,491)

Tweet Charity (it's only a matter of time…)

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