Every now and again I ask myself, "Hey, what's going on with Eric Roberts these days?" And sometimes-although far too frequently for my liking-I am made aware!
He's starring in the Roger Corman telepic "Sharktopus" for Syfy.Okay, I get it, everyone's got to eat. But if it's all the same, Eric Roberts, I am still going to remember you this way, shouting, "They took my thumb, Charlie!" I think that's probably better for both of us.The cable network announced the casting Thursday. Roberts will play a research scientist who, along with his daughter, develops a secret military weapon: A hybrid shark/octopus that can be controlled by electrical implants.
"But when the controls break down, the monster goes on a killing rampage at the resort beaches of Mexico," Syfy promises.
Someone needs to explain to me why anyone was ever attracted to Mickey Rourke. Except I don't actually care.
Oh you youngsters.
There were about five years in the mid to late '80s when Mickey Rourke was so handsome it hurt to look at him. (Not that it doesn't hurt to look at him now, but for entirely different reasons...)
Eric Roberts can probably make something interesting out of thankless role in a giant toothy squid movie, but he shouldn't have to. Does this man even HAVE an agent?
His wife.
Mathnet, I don't think his looks was ever his selling point. He was a very good actor so you kind of overlooked that he was a little off.
Also Angel Heart.
Daryl Hannah just never got out of character after Blade Runner, did she?
But there's not a weapon in the entire military arsenal that wouldn't kick the shit out of a sharktopus.
I'd rather see this than pretty much most anything I can think that his sister's been in.
He's the first name in the Rolodex when you need someone to play a guy who loses his grip on stuff with implants.
You know, Crystal Pepsi really was like the Eric Roberts of beverages.
THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING.
One thing I like about the new internet is that we haven't started trashing Emma Roberts yet.
Hey, he's going another round with Sly Stallone in the Expendables.
Are Eric Roberts and Topher Grace perhaps planning on doing a project together?
"Sharktopher"
We all have to put food on our families...
Just last night Star 80 was on TV and E. Roberts freaked the heck out of me. Glad to see that he's got some projects, I'll say he's my favorite Roberts.
If it's the sequel to Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus (which starred Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas, btw), count me in.
In 1995, I was a production assistant on a straight-to-video movie called "Power 98," starring Jennie Garth, Jason Gedrick, and Eric Roberts. First day of production I was asked to escort Mr. Roberts back to his trailer. My teenage mind somehow decided it was a good idea to strike up a conversation by finding common ground.
"So, I read you ran track in high school?" I asked. "I run track." (Mortifying.)
"I was state champion, in pole vault, hundred meters, relays," he answered, enunciating every word, separating each phrase with a dramatic pause.
"Cool, cool. I do long jump . . ." He threw his arm in front of me, as if there he suddenly sensed an ambush. I shut up, we stopped walking.
He stared at me for a second, intensely. "What's your inseam?"
"My what?"
"Your inseam. The length of your pant leg from your thigh to your ankle."
"I know what an inseam is." (I didn't want him to think I didn't!) "It's 32."
He stared at me again, then started walking back toward his trailer. He was silent for a full minute. Then he spoke. "If you want to be a champion," he said, "it needs to be 34."
I wonder if he has "Inseam of a champion" listed under "Special Skills."
THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE EVERY DAY I FUCKING WORK
::drinks in the back of the cube truck::