The Neighborhood Is Changing
Union Square's sad transformation into Times Square proceeds apace: Construction to turn the former Zen Palate space into a TGI Friday's is in full swing, while uptown barbecue chain Brother Jimmy's has already opened and is happy offering sustenance to suit-wearing douchebags for whom the cuisine of Heartland Brewery is a bit too "ethnic" or "challenging." If you stand on the corner of 16th and Union Square East, you will find yourself victimized by the cruel tyranny of choice: Which of the two equidistant glazed dough providers wares will pad your colon, Tim Horton's or Dunkin Donuts? Don't worry about the calories: A brisk trot across the park to Starbucks will give you some much needed exercise, and should there be a line you can return to the east side, where another Starbucks helpfully awaits. (Those of you working on advanced fitness routines will want to go the extra avenue to the Starbucks on 3rd.) Not all of the changes are for the worse, though: This weekend marks the resumption of Daylight Saving Time, when the clocks are set one hour ahead. This is excellent news for the giant monstrosity which hovers above the former Virgin Records: Having been off by an hour for the entire winter, it will finally display the correct time, give or take a couple of minutes, once more. It's the little things!
> into a TGI Friday's
Yes, but a TGI Friday's haunted by *vegisquid.*
Also, that's good news about DD – hasn't been good coffee in Union Square since Mrs. Kim's.
That line in Starbucks isn't actually for Starbucks. It's for Trader Joe's.
I thought it was for the can.
Nope. That's why there is a Barnes & Noble nearby.
It's actually for the Virgin Megastore, which is why it never moves.
I like the giant monstrosity over the former Virgin Records. It's like a light mental palette cleanser – white noise for the left brain.
I thought it was a national debt counter or something?
That's what everyone thinks! It's in military time.
Aw, now I'm nostalgic for the sad countdown to New York getting an Olympic bid.
You know there's something wrong with the city when you move from Union Square to the child-infested UWS and it feels less like a mall.
You didn't mention the third Starbucks in the Barnes & Noble.
Also, if you choose to span the square from the northwest to the southeast, you can hit two Chipotles. (Technically you would have to walk almost all the way to Irving Pl for that second burrito, but if you get extra guacamole with the first burrito you will have sufficient energy to expend.)
First year of college they housed us in the Metropolitan Bank building. At night we'd sit in the Park and watch the rats cavort in the giant piles of garbage that sat where the Greenmarket goes now. Nostalgia completed.
I hope those rats got food poisoning,like I did when I bought lobster fritters from one of those skeevy locavorian providers.
Oh, this is way back before food poisoning.
See: http://www.theawl.com/2010/03/i-got-99-problems-but-eminent-domain-ain't-one-white-brooklynites-against-jay-z
We need to repopulate the junkies STAT.
I'm surprised the recession and the massive budget cuts to homeless services hasn't taken care of this? Or has Bloomberg bused them all out of town by now?
The north-facing "giant monstrosity" is actually a counterpoint to the old south-facing analog clock on Grand Central all the way up at the other end of Park Ave. I like the idea (if not the execution).
Also, just go to Think Coffee on 4th and 12th(?).
or Newsbar!
Oh yeah — forgot about Newsbar. And the impossible aisles of Healthy Pleasures.