Exactly what I suspected. Yeah, you broads talk a good game about how a sense of humor is the most important thing, or that you really just want a good listener who appreciates you for all funny, quirky things that make you who you are, but when it comes right down to it you're just gonna go for the jerk with the fancy car. Science is on to you, ladies. This is why dudes drive Hummers, you know. Nice job.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
25
Subway snoozers are hot.
These penis-wars-by-car-proxy are a really great motivation to live in Manhattan.
It's a vaginal lodestone.
I just go for rich guys with big dicks.
Anyone can lease an Audi.
Soul. Mates. SOUL! MATES! SOULMATES!!!
Since men drive these cars to attract women with large breasts, both sexes wind up being equally horrible, at least amongst the straights.
In my humble experience:
Cute dog > 100*Benz
Any dog, really.
Every time you post one of these "studies" it makes me feel like a failure as a woman. Like, how did I end up NOT AT ALL LIKE THIS and yet? I'm suuuuuch a giiiiiirl, ya know?
Can we discuss this in the back seat of my classic Jag?
No. But tell me how quirky I am and make me laugh and I'll probably fuck you on the hood of said classic jag.
Really, you'd give me my very own hoodie? You ARE one of a kind.
Tawny Kitaen is an Awl commentor?!
I thought I'd bag scores of chicks when I bought my E320, but apparently the "LARRY KLEIST, RAPIST" sign on the side is some kind of turn off.
"A vehicle is an extension of who you are." Only if you're a douchebag with no sense of self-worth.
Anything to help the shallow and unimaginative find each other and leave the rest of us alone is just fine with me.
That's how I feel about ... a certain former blog.
Curious. The Baby Jane in MY head is only attracted to guys who will never leave me.
No that's why they drive Ferrari Testa Rossas, more to get themselves off than the ladies. Kind of like life.
I'm more interested in how this works in the converse, like those guys I se driving new VW beetles....
Unsaid here is that an attractive woman in a cool car is really, really hot. No, car-clueless NYC snobs, I don't mean some shitty Eurotrash chariot. I mean something older or more off-stereotype. 1967 Chevy pick-up with the small back window, 327 and wooden bed.
"It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowing down to take a look at me ..."
"Flatbed" always got me. Grrrl! Not even a pickup truck.
Not that I am enough of an old to have written that song or anything like that.
God how I HATE THAT. First they just slow down and take a look, then it's all "nice ass, baby" and "I want you on the hood of your jag" and what not. What do they think, I'm gonna stop right there and have sex with them. WOMEN!
Perhaps you should take the time to MANSPLAIN them a thing or two about cars and trucks next time.
The only way I was able to attract girls in my 1962 Ford (actually a Mercury)
was because of my "THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS" bumper sticker.
All along, I was hoping for guys..
Oh, well.