Smoking Is Awesome
Good news, smokers! A new study shows that you are reducing your risk of developing Parkinson's disease simply by enjoying your favorite hobby, the near-perfect act of lighting a cigarette and drawing its comforting smoke and nicotine deep into your lungs. That's right, not only does smoking steady your nerves, sharpen your focus, and soothe your anxieties, it also helps to prevent movement disorders. Even better, smoking rewards commitment: The longer you smoke, the less likely your chances of developing Parkinson's actually are. As someone who has his twenty-fifth anniversary with sweet, inhalable tobacco coming up next year, this is the kind of gift I never expected from the marvelous companion that is nicotine, which makes it all the more meaningful. Smoking is also thought to prevent Alzheimer's. And there is a wealth of scientific evidence showing that people who smoke are intrinsically cooler than non-smokers. It really is a miracle drug, isn't it?
I'm sorry to say that while Science is quiet on this front, observation leads me to conclude that secondhand smoking does not yield the same benefits. Still, any drug that reduces the odds of developing this fucker is a "miracle drug" in my book.
Glory to God for inventing such a boon to mankind!
god, i love you
To think I tried to quit!
Watching the smoke dance out of a cigarette is like watching a girl dance out of her dress.
Tasting the first long drag of a just-opened pack of cigarettes with ever yoga-expanding lung capacity is as good as dancing out of a dress feels, when it is warm outside.
Newest fitness rage – smoking yoga classes. Mat and ashtray mandatory.
A new meaning for nic fit?
yin and yang, etc.–
Interesting, but I don't smoke. Got any good news about the healing powers of meth?
Ha!
My next recipe will be for Alex Balk's Smoking Anniversary Cake. Something like this, or perhaps a mottled lung.
It should be noted that your odds of getting Parkinson's Disease are slim to begin with.
As slim as a smoker's attractive body!
In many cases, slimmer–much much slimmer.
Genius. Or maybe not? As kneetoe points out, the chances of developing Parkinson's Disease is relatively low anyway, but the odds may also be slightly skewed by the fact the fucking smokers died in their fucking thousands in their forties, in their tens of fucking thousands in their fifties, and in hundreds of fucking thousands in their sixties. Just saying is all. Hey, nice story though…
You sound uptight. Let's go have a smoke and talk about it.
Hate to be the hater but the Alzheimers risk reduction has been discredited: http://www.badscience.net/2010/03/when-is-it-okay-to-ignore-people-you-dont-trust/
Doesn't say anything about Parkinson's of course, except as an illustration of the marvellous tendency we all have to remember studies that say it's good for us to do bad things. A study in the 80s showed that a glass or two of red wine for over-50s reduces the risk of heart disease? Fuck it, that means the medics are basically demanding I drink a couple of bottles a night as a 30 year-old just to be on the safe side.
Yes, this worked so well for Michael J. Fox.
Well… OK… but I'm pretty sure that all this proves is that the cigs will make you die before you have to put up with Alzheimer's or Parkinson's.
25 years? How old are you, Balk?
He's 27.
lol..ahahaha….adenocarcinoma is hilarious!
:|
You win this time, Smokers! *withdraws to smokeless cave*