Knifecrime Island Follies: "As any dog lover knows walkies is a must – even if it is raining, snowing or blowing a gale. But when Paul Railton, 23, looked out of his window on a bitterly cold day last December he had other ideas. He would give his beloved brown lurcher a walk – only this time he was going to do it from the comfort and warmth of his car."
And that's how the story starts. It only gets weirder from there.
At first I thought: If that dog really were "beloved" that cowardly bastard wouldn't leave him alone on the stab-happy streets of Knifecrime Island!
Then I read the article and thought: actually never mind. Sounds like somebody brought a gun to a knifecrime.
This is also a great way to get your kids to play dates when it's sprinkling out.
Hey, the First Lady says they need to get more exercise...
I thought a brown lurcher only happens after too many curries?
Silly yob. Everyone knows you use a pair of remote-controlled "techno-trousers" for automatic walkies.
http://wallaceandgromit.net/pictures/the_wrong_trousers_pictures.php
That was considerate of the Daily Mail to throw in a relevant still from Turner and Hooch, no doubt for the benefit of those readers so preoccupied with avoiding being stabbed they are unable to imagine for themselves what a dude walking a dog from a car looks like.
I'm also tripping out that someone on the Mail's staff knows their Turner and Hooch well enough to remember that scene.
Now I am wondering if there's a porn parody out there called Turn Her and Chooch.