Listen, baby, I know you've been hurt before. I know I was wrong, and that the promises I made turned out to be empty words. I understand, I do. I can totally see why you're scared, why you're hesitant to open your heart and trust me. But ya gotta give me another chance. Baby, believe me: That other time? I don't know what I was thinking. I was crazy! I was not even the same guy then. But if everything we've been through means anything at all, I need you to trust me now. Come here. Look into my eyes so you can see how serious about this I am. Baby, as AccuWeather.com meteorologist Tom Kines is my witness, I will give you up to twelve inches. Come on, beautiful, let's go out and panic buy together.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
22
Snowstorms are like men. You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it's going to last.
Being stuck with them also leaves you feeling cold and trapped. Heeyyyyyooooooohhhh!
Yeah, love it or leave it (or get a magic wand)
Also, once they're finished, you're usually wet and cleaning up a mess.
They only show up when football season is over!
Oh please! As every woman knows, promising twelve inches means you only have six inches to give.
Can the first one to brave Trader Joe's report back to the rest of us?
Are you NUTS!? Have you seen that place on a regular SUNDAY!?
"THEY'RE OUT OF SOY MILK AND GLUTEN-FREE BREAD!!! AHHHHHH!!!! FUUUUUCK!!!! FUUUUCKKKKKKK!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA' DIE!!! AHHHHHH!!!"
Or so I imagine.
Oh, god, I'm sure there are already fistfights breakout over the last bag of spicy thai peanuts.
Srly, though. Is it gonna be a snow day tomorrow for the schools? If so, some of us don't have to go to work :-)
with snowstorms, as with penises, if i don't get at least six to seven inches i will be severely disappointed.
Things didn't work out with Kim, I take it?
If you don't give her twelve, you better have some girthy snowflakes.
Oh hurrah! Is today the day we finally have the great "length or girth" debate on The Awl????
(My money is on length. I used to be a girth girl but I had a ten-incher (I KNOW, RIGHT??? God that thing was glorious. It was attached to perhaps the world's stupidest man but then again, I wasn't there to fuck his intellect.) a few years back that changed my whole outlook on things.)
12" X 12" FTW
Oh man, it was so cold in Miami yesterday that I had to wear pants when I walked the dog. PANTS! Like, the kind that go all the way down!
In LA, I could not wear my sunglasses today because it was kinda overcast. =(
Oh, you think that's bad? Here in Nor Cal we have rain. RAIN, people. Like, with no sun? It's crazy. Everyone needs therapy.
Oh my gosh. I hope someone makes a penis joke out of this!
I feel strangely intimidated by this upcoming blizzard.
Will there be severe blowing? And, um, drifting?
As Wendy the Weather Wench is fond of saying, It's been a long time since I've seen twelve inches.