Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

The Oscar Announcements: It Is Here! With SHOCKERS

UH YEAH NOOkay, so this is super-serious. What we expected to have happen for the ten Best Picture nominees is not at all what happened in real life. Instead of the inclusion of commercially popular films like The Hangover and even possibly Star Trek, we ended up with a shocking inclusion of A Serious Man-which deserves it, sorry haters!-and… The Blind Side. One thing: there's not a single comedy in there. (Unless you count the Coen brothers, which, too dark to even be comedy.)

That there are two performances nominated from Invictus-Morgan Freeman as best actor and Matt Damon as best supporting-is a horror show.

More shockingly? This is the first time in like, ever, that Almodovar has gotten snubbed. (OK, except Bad Education, which was meh.) (Anyway, apparently, this we knew from the shortlist, but seeing it really happen is upsetting!)

8:44 The Ten Best Picture Nominees: Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up, Up in the Air. WHOA.

8:43 am. Adapted: In the Loop! Yay! Annnnd no nomination for Dave Eggers.
8:43 a.m. Director: CAMERON v. BIGELOW! (v. Tarantino!)
8:42 a.m. Supporting: Damon, Harrelson, Plummer, Tucci and YAY INGLOURIOUS NAZI.
8:40 a.m. Penelope, Vera, Maggie, Anna, MO'NIQUE. Supporting!
8:40 a.m. Anne Hathaway: PANTSUIT.
8:36 a.m. I can't believe everyone in Los Angeles stayed up all night and took extra meth to sit in this auditorium and talk to people they already know they hate.
8:34 a.m. This presentation has all the charm and timeliness of a high school choir recital.
8:33 a.m. Someone in L.A. who works in the media has a hacking cough! I bet it's that queen from The Envelope.
8:31 a.m. How are you all going to feel when Dave Eggers gets nominated for screenplay? Are you ready for Academy Awardâ„¢ nominated Dave Eggers?
8:30 a.m. OMG.

7:45 a.m. We are all-and by "all," I mean, those of us who are not doing emergency surgery on babies in Haiti or reading some things called "books"-super-stoked about this morning's Oscar announcements. Ten! Ten Best Picture nominees! Something something The Hangover something death cage-match something Inglourious Basterds! Let's get crunk together on the validation of the careers of some liberal narcissists from the other coast!

Vulture started off the morning with the rumor that ABC accidentally pre-announced the Oscars. "A simple search of the word 'oscar' on ABCNews.com brings up a long list of results titled '2010 Oscar Nominations.'" Ha, that is because they had a bunch of interns prepare ready to post "This Person Won an Oscar" thingies that they can just hit publish on. That's what they do at news organizations, you know-prewrite and hope it sounds good when it's true to sort of true! (Except, apparently, in the event of the death of J.D. Salinger, which apparently took every obit desk in America by surprise?)

As far as best picture predictions go? We are co-signing this list, by Awl pal Natasha Vargas-Cooper, as a combination of should-be nominated and likely-to-be nominated.

1. Avatar
2. The Hangover
3. District 9
4. An Education
5. Inglorious Basterds
6. Precious
7. Hurt Locker
8. Blind Side
9. Up in the Air
10. Nine

Will we ever actually see, with our own eyes, The Blind Side? No. But apparently this weird, 80s-era take on American race relations is warming seats and/or hearts all over America.

Also? Like fully nearly any three of those movies could get dumped for STAR TREK. I know, right?

67 Comments / Post A Comment

Alex Balk (#4)

WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR "Race to Witch Mountain"?

KarenUhOh (#19)

Well, next year there'll be 25 BP nominees, and they can nominate RtWMII:The Wiccan 500.

The 'artistic integrity' (quotes to make you know I'm all winky about it) of this selectivity is matched only by that of the NHL Playoffs.

I hear it's gonna be "Tooth Fairy."

Bittersweet (#765)

Rooting for that new chipmunks movie myself.

sailor (#396)

I won't be seeing "Blind Side' with my own eyes either, apparently, or "Avatar" either, for that matter. Still have the blue people problem that started with the Smurfs.

Just want Kathryn Bigelow to get one of the Big Two.

I haven't even seen The Hurt Locker yet (I know, I know), I just really really really want to see Bigelow beat her douchebag ex-husband.

SemperBufo (#1,849)

See it, it's really good.

Also, I am going to be sad about the Coen Brothers.

Even though all my Jews hated it.

OuackMallard (#774)

Nominated! Take that, Jews.

narnio (#38)

I loved it! I'm a goy! I'm THEIR AUDIENCE.

Alex Balk (#4)

Prediction: Two nominations for Dave Eggers. Best adapted screenplay for "Wild Things" and Best original screenplay for that other one, with the kid from "The Office." KIDDING! But wouldn't that be great? I mean, from a humor standpoint?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

> wouldn't that be great

Only for people who love "Still Not the Real Enemy" headlines.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Not to get parochial here–and who, really gives two hoots in heck about Best Song–but I want to see Karen O at the Oscars.

I really feel she has the cachet to become the Randy Newman of this cinemetatic generation. Plus: whatever that was Bjork was wearing? KO'll have the same thing, only one that's been in an oil slick.

I hate the songs she is nominated for (though I only give one hoot), but I otherwise agree.

Alex Balk (#4)

She got nothing. Randy Newman, however, grabbed two.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Oh well. So I'll settle for Randy Newman wearing roadkill condor.

Alex Balk (#4)

YAY Penelope Cruz in "Nine," Choire's favorite movie this year!

If Sandy beats out Preshie I will riot.

Alex Balk (#4)

If Peru beats out Argentina I will riot.

The super bowl live blog is next week.

Matt (#26)

Dear God let there be a Super Bowl liveblog.

rj77 (#210)

@Matt: Seconded.


How lucky is that crack pipe now, Lt. Cage?

KarenUhOh (#19)

It's entirely possible these nominations could educate people that Invictus is not the name of a cologne.

OOoooo damn! Eat it, Shrek 2!! UP Got some noms!

Alex Balk (#4)


gumplr (#66)

In light of that and this, this is very entertaining.

Is there a Best Feature Available On Pay Per View category?

Abe Sauer (#148)

"The Blind Side." Best Picture. SUCK IT ARTISTES!

KarenUhOh (#19)

Up Ours.

Alex Balk (#4)

I guess Hollywood is too SOPHISTICATED to honor a movie whose central plot revolves around the use of date rape drugs.

HiredGoons (#603)

Can't see the forest from the trees?

Alex Balk (#4)

Does LA go back to bed now, or is everyone too methed up to sleep?


KarenUhOh (#19)

That may be the best thing Anne Hathaway's ever done.

OOoo damn, Up beat out Hangover! Ed Asner will roll in his grave,

So DDL did not get his obligatory oscar nom? And do they just slip Meryl's under the door every year? If Sandy beats out Preshie I hope Watts burns down. When did Bullock secure her spot as, like "aw, poor Millionaire lady that we should all be nicer to in Hollywood?" Crash?? Was it Crash's fault. It always did.

In the Loop, perhaps the greatest choice the academy has made in terms of the Shakespearean delivery of cunt. Speaking of cunt. Hhahahah eat it, Eggers!

With In the Loop, the producers have two choices:

1. Rack up the largest FCC fine in the history of the medium by playing a clip uncensored.

2. Letting the general public think it got nominated for the words "You" "Oxford" and "run along."

HonoriaGlossop (#1,247)

In the Loop! In the Loop!

Ok, while were here. I'd like to address two issues:

1. Up in the Air: Annoying? Right? Like kinda hard to feel sorry for the morally conflicted managers of middle America etc. Smug?

2. Up- Like, I know it managed to unlock the ossified tear ducts of Balk, but, but, ehh, I just don't know I feel about it getting a best picture nomsie over the Hangover, which I didn't even really care for but like, EVERY ONE ELSE DID!

Also, remember when Bruno came out and people paid money to see it. Oh 2k9, you were the worst.

Alex Balk (#4)

Wait, you're upset that Up got a Best Picture nom over The Hangover? Didn't The Blind Side also get a Best Picture nom over The Hangover?

You're right, I'm misplacing my incredulity. Need to send out a tweet re:riot. Twriot.

The Blindside, is that like, Guess whose coming to Dinner 2k9 version? So like, Guess Whose Coming to Crash for a While, ma?

katiebakes (#32)

I have seen zero of the best picture nominees :( Natasha you led me astray with all those midnight pornos. She about to have no FEET.

We have to wait until 2999 when The Watchmen will win best picture of THE MILLENNIA

Awwww Moon! No Moon! Is it cause we blew it up?

Best actor category is way snooze this year.

hortense (#2,780)

Sam Rockwell was so, so good. It was actually my favorite movie of last year.

I think he's destined to be one of those dudes who turns in Oscar-worthy performances for 25 years before anyone notices, though.

To complete the irony: Rockwell will get the shaft this year, but Ryan Reynolds will get nommed for Buried in 2011.

barnhouse (#1,326)

I loved Sam Rockwell dancing a little bit when he was the bad guy in Charlie's Angels. Hope he wins for this one.

KarenUhOh (#19)

All I know is, it's going to take Billy Crystal 45 minutes to sing that song.

Are we on team Tarantino or what guys??!

We need notes.

I did. It was better than "Up in the Air." Does that help?

Also, did any one else notice the silence when they said 'Avatar'?? Hmmm not even one lone PR assistant hooted.

riotnrrd (#840)

If 'Avatar' wins any awards outside of the techies (Best VFX, sound editing, etc.) I will cold kill a bitch. That movie was a manipulative pile of cold oatmeal and deserves to vanish into memory along with other hollow stunt-pictures like "King Kong in 3D" and "The Tingler."

keisertroll (#1,117)

Whoever shelved Diff'rent Strokes: The Motion Picture is kicking himself right now.

Ceiba_T_ (#3,000)

Eggers got snubbed! Jonze got snubbed! There is some justice, though clearly not much. District 9? Ugh.

KK Barrett got snubbed. WTWTA looked amazing.

HiredGoons (#603)


Tablefornone (#3,264)

Choire, I think Almodovar slept with the wrong producer's buttboy in 2006 and he's been on punishment ever since. He got snubbed for Volver, too. I don't count the fact that Cruz got nominated for best actress that year.

wb (#2,214)

I was hoping Penny's nom was for Broken Embraces–a repeat of Volver–but its for Nine? I love me some Penny, but please not for Nine.

Bittersweet (#765)

He got snubbed for 'Volver'?!?!? Any last tiny vestige of respect I had for the Oscars has now vanished into the ether. That movie was ridiculawesome.

(Yes, I know I'm a bit behind the times, but you know…)

You know why no news organizations had any any pre-written obits ready to publish when J.D. Salinger died? They all forgot he was still alive.

I mean, I did. Didn't you?

Oh, hey Choire, wait, there IS a comedy. "Up" is a comedy! (Of the heartwarming variety.)

Jack_Kough (#2,406)

bad education was meh? i recommend not seeing movies if you are blind or deaf.

buzzorhowl (#992)

The thing about people freaking out about the racial whatever of "The Blind Side" is that that movie is 100% true. The kid the movie's about is now the left tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. So like, maybe it brings up some weird racial issues or whatever? But the way people react to it, you'd think it was like "Avatar," by which I mean "something some white guy made up." But no, it really happened. Pretty much all of it, give or take.

Post a Comment