The thick chunks of snow that are falling across the city drop softly on the pavement and dissolve, but they are already starting to stick to cars and trash cans, and it's only a matter of time before the very ground upon which you walk will be coated with a thin layer of slush or ice. After that?
THERE WILL BE A PERIOD THIS AFTERNOON INTO EARLY THIS EVENING WHEN THE SNOW MIXES WITH OR CHANGES TO RAIN. THE PRECIPITATION IS EXPECTED TO CHANGE BACK TO ALL SNOW TONIGHT. THE SNOW WILL THEN GRADUALLY BECOME LESS STEADY AND LIGHTER INTO FRIDAY...BEFORE TAPERING OFF TO LIGHT SNOW OR SNOW SHOWERS BY FRIDAY EVENING. FOR NOW EXPECT ACCUMULATIONS TO RANGE FROM 7 TO 12 INCHES...Also: "Some AccuWeather.com meteorologists have even been referring to the storm as a 'snowicane' rather than a blizzard," reports AccuWeather.com, "in order to express the fierce extent of the snow and wind expected from the storm." Fair enough. I don't expect we'll have much of an accumulation here in town, but it's probably going to be a pain in the ass to get around, because why should anything be easy? This is your life now: bleak, slippery, and inconvenient. There is no hope to be had. Even if the sun ever returns, you will eventually still die anyway, most likely alone, most likely unmourned. It will be winter forever-in your soul.
Check back for updates!
After that? Take your fucking Actonel.
We will be dodging fetid melting snow from awnings and scaffolding until May.
CAPS LOCK BECAUSE IT'S JUST THAT IMPORTANT
ALSO: KITTIES
The National Weather service issues all of its bulletins in all-caps sentence fragments separated by ellipses. I have no idea why this is the case, but I have come to kind of love it.
What are you?! A Queen of Drama?!
Alex, the ghost of George has something very important to tell you. Please listen to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZtQh5EIgWQ
This gloom is destroying my ability to panic.
This is really just a template for Alex Balk post.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this will not be the most uplifting thing I read today.
It's Ragnarok. Beware the Frost Giants.
+2, 1 for each d'Aulaire
Today is my birthday (no lie) and I've decided to view this slush as one large birthday slushy drink much like a Dallas BBQ Texas Margarita. Too Pollyanna? Ok. But it's my birthday!!!
Happy Birthday!
Just don't drink it! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday fellow Aquariopisces.
Haha thanks! And Happy Birthday to you, HG!!
Hey, awesome, my birthday was yesterday. Happy Birthday HG and judypearl! Margaritas all round!
FUCK this auto-refresh pisses me off sometimes. Now the world will never know what I just said about February birthdays and those sultry summer moons.
Anyway, a big happy birthday to judypearl, and HG, and Bittersweet, and my sister(26th) and my best friend (24th) and half of my old high school clique.
Snowicaine is actually a very unfortunate transcription of an overhead conversation between AccuWeather meteorologists planning their saturday night.
you guys. seriously. you're handling this worse than my friends in dallas who recently plowed their way through a foot of snow. you're new yorkers. aren't you supposed to turn your nose up at pedestrian roadblocks like "snowicanes"?
/pointless sterotyping