Winter has not yet even undone its belt for tomorrow's big SNOW-PLOUGHING, but the Department of Education has already given the city's kids the day off. Expect to get hit in the head with at least three snowballs by noon. And probably some batteries. They're vicious, those kids.
Awww, come sit by me, New York! We'll empty out grocery stores together.
Love,
the District of Columbia
Also, check the smoke alarms--whence the batteries.
I just wanted to clear it up in case anyone was confused: By "SNOW-PLOUGHING" I was not referring to precipitation removal. I'm suggesting that the snow is going to FUCK US HARD, like really PLOUGH INTO US. I know sometimes I can be too subtle, and I'd hate for you all to miss it here.
Ohhhh...
Ya know, it took me a really long time to get that but now I'm laughing so hard, so deep, like 12 inches or so.
Thx!
The phrase we're using down here is Snowkkake. That may clear things up a bit.
What's wrong with "SNOW-PLOWING"? Are Americanized spellings not fancy enough for you?
I figured it was a sort of 1900s-shout-out. Can't you just see some Brooklyn kid with Bill-the-Butcher-style facial hair hand-drafting posters in Olde Timey Font for his big "Snow-Ploughing Party"?
Ew. Thanks for that mental image. Now I can smell him- you know, in my mind's nose.
I expect my hallway to be turned into an overflow playroom by the new toddlers down the hall. Which I'm fine with so long as they skip the soccer game this time. My door is not a goal!
Also, your weather talk is working for me.
Can someone from NY please explain to me how much snow is too much?
Look, if she's already climaxed out, and is just sort of gingerly meeting you halfway, hesitation clearly in the quiver of her hips, it is too much and time to finish up already.
Maybe I have been doing it wrong then. I will enthusiastically help you get to where you are going, pleasehurryupandfinishalready. Now I know that I should just lay still and stare at the ceiling some.
Oh, that is only the case when there is just too much snow-ploughing while things are oversensitive. I suppose it depends if your partner is normally a multiple-snowmageddon type or a single nor'easter-er. Communication is key, but some people are shy to admit, 'that was amazing but PLEASE don't touch me right now,' as noted above.
I just really want a snow day and it never happens...
Oh, kiddo? I meant to say clean your room and make a wish, and maybe it will come true!
If it makes you feel any better, those of us who run the school system here (i.e., ruin the lives of children on a daily basis) don't get the day off. I've received about five emails now telling me to inform my staff that tomorrow is not - IS NOT I repeat - a snow day for The Man.
Yes. That's how it is here too. Teachers have to go to school so that parents can drop off their kids if they need to.
And I cleaned my room yesterday! And it didn't happen!
A lug nut packed in the center of a snowball, thawed oh so slightly then re-frozen in your freezer will teach those kids a thing or two.
It's the hands-on touch that makes antisocial behavior worthwhile. I'll bet kids these days don't even heat up pennies over their Bic lighters and throw 'em on the ice at hockey games anymore. Not that, uh, we ever did that.
What happened to this country? D.C. gets a little snow, and now every town is freaking out? When Boston gets two feet of snow, they don't call it "SnowtoriousBIG" or "Apocalypse Snow." They call it "Thursday."