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5 Things You Are No Longer Allowed To Say On The Internet, As Of Right Now
5. "David Foster Wallace is probably a bit overrated."
4. "People should probably be nicer to each other."
3. "Something something 'Godwin's Law.'"
2. "Something something 'censorship.'"
1. "Presented without comment."
Listicle.
"… without commentary."
+somenumber
Instead, maybe use intertube tech to make them into multiple-choice quizzes, hence "testicle"?
I always thought that typing "presented without comment" constituted a comment.
I'll just put this here.
That is all.
Anything involving "knifecrime"
But please keep information coming about that caffeinated port wine beverage.
Something something ———-, in advance, on an infininte loop!
("Infininte" is Latin, idiots.)
*HIDES*
"Presented Without Comment" is pretty much the same thing as "Without Commentary".
[REDACTED]
"I'm going to discuss a drama unfolding in our family."
(I cringed so much there that I had to comment here.)
Doesn't this essentially amount to censorship? Goddamn fascists.
Nazi.
Be nice, you two.
"Hitler Discovers There's Censorship on the Internet"
This post would've been better if the five items were presented in a slide show.
Staff meetings are fun!
"I was walking down 1st Avenue to The Awl offices this morning…"
But isn't DFW a bit overrated? Are people actually saying that yet?
I really don't think it is possible to say that.
It would be like calling water overrated.
What's water?
Patrick Swawyze was a bad dancer.
"Something something I suppose!" RHYTHM HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!
"As I tweeted before…"
Show me your dick.
Damnit. Wrong window.
noodz or gtfo
Tits or GTFO!
"Now I've heard there was a secret chord/
That David played, and it pleased the Lord"
Yes! We need a new go-to bleeding heart song.
"… Just sayin." Fuck you.
I think I used No. 1 yesterday…
First, something something Occam's Razor and in the alternative, that is all.
"Those breasts are HUGE."
"fail"
(seriously)
Seconded. My aunt used it on FB last week.
@brent_cox: 'fail' fail.
Offered without elaboration:
http://doree.tumblr.com/post/402789570/presented-without-comment-is-a-tic-that-needs-to
"To be fair,"
"public option"
"bipartisanship"
"wolf blitzer"
*call me
You're NEVER there.
Also:
:(
'Kitteh', 'puppeh', 'bishes', etc. I die every time I see those.
CHATROULETTE
"Incredibly." Also, less apologies. Fuck apologizing.
Jeez, sorry.
I mean, really.
Awesome!
I would like to add the phrase "KTHXBAI" and all variants to this listicle.
K
I'd appreciate the internet a lot more if it were made entirely of pictures, or a system of pictographs that do not necessitate literacy; sort of like the lower classes used in "The Diamond Age".
*the one that the lower classes
add corrections using * as shit that you can't say internet too.
*on
see?
*the
"Send an email to Brian Moylan, the author of this post.."
How'd I miss this one?