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Knifecrime Island Is Actually Lovecrime Island
Let me offer you some additional, and contradictory, testimony on why there is all that constant glassing over in England and its wholly-owned subsidiary islands of stabbitude. The thing is? They're just crazy in love. In a recent science poll, almost one-third of Americans said they'd rather spend Valentine's Day with their pets than a person. 50% of Turks said the same! 2 out of 5 Indians agreed! But get this: only 18% of Knifecrimers surveyed said they would prefer to spend the day with a pet, rather than a lover. The people of Britain are love-besotted romantics! And all that passion makes them violent. Now you understand. (See also: Edward II.)
You ever slept with a vole?
Not of my own volition.
Or all that drinking just makes them gluttons for many different kinds of punishment!
Yes, but 63 percent of Britons would rather knife a lover than a pet on Valentine's Day. It's all relative.
We're lovers and fighters.
I approve of any excuse to post a photo of John Terry.
Awl gheys, don't EVEN front on this one.
I can never understand why, with the money he earns, his hair looks like his mum cuts it.
Awww, but then there's Edward VIII
You know, this is kind of true. Love plus booze = ultraviolence.