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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

14

Dick Cheney's Central Chest Muscle Was Upset

Apparently former Vice President Dick Cheney had "a mild heart attack," which would seem to indicate that he actually has a heart. Not buying it!

Tags:

Dick Cheney

14 Comments / Post A Comment

Jim Behrle
Jim Behrle (#3,292)

Don't die Dick Cheney
Before we can drag you by
the pubes to the Hague

formerly it takes a lot etc.

Shall we start a small war to cheer him up? Or maybe a large one (Dick wanted to use force to stop Russia from invading Georgia; he was convinced they were after more than 'just Georgia' which I'm guessing means oil which is why he was after Georgia himself, so....)?

josh_speed
josh_speed (#97)

It ain't over 'til he gets shot in the face by a friend while quail hunting.

johnpseudonym
johnpseudonym (#1,452)

[In a booming voice] You DARE to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of kaligenous junk!

resipsaloquacious

I think this was his 5th heart attack; his first was when he was 37. Unreal. Despite repeated attempts, his own heart cannot even kill him. Clearly, he lives off of some yet to be discovered manner of "evil fission" (or fusion, I always get the two confused).

Maevemealone
Maevemealone (#968)

And we shall name his heart "Valkyrie"...

brent_cox
brent_cox (#40)

Even an Extra Spicy heart attack will not take down Dick Cheney.

cherrispryte
cherrispryte (#444)

Go Team Dick Cheney's Heart!

brad
brad (#1,678)

i was unaware there was any organic matter left in the space once occupied by his heart. did the batteries die?

audrey
audrey (#1,332)

No heart attack. He was just in the hospital for his weekly puppy blood infusion.

NicFit
NicFit (#616)

Oh, I'd love to send him a box of donuts...where should I address it?

brad
brad (#1,678)

if marc theissen is to dick cheney what smithers is to burns, then when does the train leaving chicago meet the train leaving new york with both of them strapped to the fronts?

and the real question, how does theissen live without his heart?

Slava
Slava (#216)

For a second there I was like "I thought the former President of Vice Magazine was Gavin McInnes..."

SpyMagician
SpyMagician (#2,024)

That guy can never complete what he starts.

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