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Cure Sleep Apnea The Australian Way
Here is some good news for those of you who, like me, have sleep apnea but are disinclined to wear those ridiculous masks because they seem like a phenomenal pain in the ass: You can play the didgeridoo! "In a study published in the British Medical Journal, 25 patients with sleep apnea who practiced playing it for about 30 minutes a day, six days a week for four months, significantly reduced the number of apneas they had during sleep; daytime sleepiness also decreased. Scientist believe the breathing technique required to play the didgeridoo strengthens the upper airway and makes it less likely to collapse." I mean, I'm not going to do that either, but it's nice to know the option is available.
No one must ever, ever forward this story to Andrew Sullivan.
If that technique is circular breathing, you could probably just teach yourself how to do it with an empty bottle or harmonica or something.
Join a jugband! It cures what ails ya!
Your nails won't break and your toes won't stub
You never get a fever
When there ain't no hole in the washtub
Or say "uvulopalatopharyngoplasty" five times fast.
Question: Is sleeping next to someone playing the didgeridoo more or less annoying/terrifying than sleeping next to someone with sleep apnea? Because I'm getting sort of sick of playing the "count the seconds til he starts breathing again" game.
Ha! my college girlfriend woke me one night in tears, she thought I was Dead and was shaking me rather vigorously to try and wake me, she did, neither of us knew I had Sleep Apnea…It was a not so fun way to find out.
…and my current Girlfriend will learn to love the sound of the Digeridoo, I always wanted one, Now I might be able to get my Health insurance company to pay for it.
Now when the kids in Brooklyn say, "Blow me!" I can yell back, "It's only going to improve my sleep apnea!"
And then I'll saunter back into Gorilla coffee and get back to fussing with my lolcat submissions.