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I am absolutely devastated to learn that two participants in MTV's popular ethnographic documentary "Jersey Shore" are not actually of Italian descent. I mean, I don't even know what to believe in anymore. Also, how do we classify this? "Pseudo Guido?" "Phony Bologna?" "ShamWoww?" So many questions.
Situation Vacant.
BREAKING: Girl with Irish last name is of Irish descent.
Sadly, I do not think the documentary about this will be as good as F for Fake.
Broschetta
LOVE THIS.
But please, please, PLEASE everyone, it's "-sketta," not "-shetta." If you can get "ciao" right, there is no excuse not to get this right, too.
Yet–if you are a waiter/tress and correct someone who pronounces it "-shetta," it is super obnoxious.
I've been "corrected" after ordering 'sketta.
FTW. I made the gaffe of 'correcting' frappé in New England speak, although I was not in a position of authority.
Correcting pronunciation is almost always obnoxious! If you are looking to be polite, try casually using the word yourself: "Here's your bruschetta, sir!" If you're lucky, this will start a conversation – "Wait, 'sketta'? Is that really how you say it?" Or sometimes they'll just be quietly embarrassed and try to get it right next time.
My favorite "correction:" 'Yee-row? You mean Jy-row?' People are dumb sometimes.
A gaffé!
What is it they say? Italian is only skin deep, guido goes to the bone?
[No, they don't say that, idiot]
Fake-in-bake-gate?
Cinna Stix®
Fauxidos.
Does ethnicity even matter when it comes to guidos? As an actual Italian, I've convinced myself that guidoism is an affectation of white trash culture in the same vein as juggalos.
If you have ever been to Los Angeles you would have no doubt seen the packs of Iranian guido's.
"New Guinea?"
Or, less offensively, "Shooby-dooby-doobious."
We should have been suspicious when Snickers was getting philosophical about what it is to be a Guido in the first or second episode.
Just wait until they admit the Situation is 38 years old. Microderm only goes so far.
How did you not already know this?
I think you hit it with "Guinea Foul".
Also, this kind of reminds me of the time my dad told me he hated it when people made fun of the Boston accent because he felt like they were being anti-Irish. I could not convince him that having a Boston didn't necessarily mean you were of Irish descent.
"Shamwoww" is fucking excellent.
double fist pump
We called them Spitalians, if they were hispanic guidos. More common at my high school were Spindians, which were Indian kids that hung out with the hispanic kids.
Why yes, my high school was a really freaking weird melting pot.
There's a lot of Italians in South America, so just being from a Spanish speaking country doesn't make you 'Hispanic', whatever that means.
Don't forget about the Germans!
(And, please, no one mention the war!)
They've just been walking around in orangeface?