The Awl

fairest on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

fairest — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:51:53 +0000

If it were possible to not feel sorry for someone who had bed bugs...

Sara Padilla on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Sara Padilla — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 13:30:28 +0000

Additionally, the Polaroid wall paper would make an excellent place for those little bastards to lay their eggs. It looks cool, but if I were you I'd take it down sooner than immediately.

Sara Padilla on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Sara Padilla — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 12:16:09 +0000

I wrote a whole long comment that just got eated, but it comes down to this: if your landlord is doing this now, he is not going to get better. I had a very similar situation (my landlord pretended he could only speak Greek).Molly, plan to move, budget to move, and when you move take as little as possible with you.

cilecto on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

cilecto — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 11:22:04 +0000

Great essay, Molly. Great pix Luciano. Note that according to bedbugger.com, alcohol is a "contact killer"; it will kill bed bugs that you hit directly with it. It will not kill bugs who walk over your floors hours after you spray (i.e., no residual kill) and it will not kill eggs. Murphy Oil soap, which is more gentle on floors thna alcohol, also (according to bedbugger.com) is a good contact killer. Keep it up. Judging by your expressions in your pix, the bugs are not winning in your life. And if I had a pool, you'll be welcome at my party.

FlatCat on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

FlatCat — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:33:09 +0000

It would appear that the bed bugs are not the only shameless creatures in the room.

NatashaVC on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NatashaVC — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 05:44:14 +0000

I'm not saying it's strictly a ladies issue. I am saying that was a card carying vag-haver, this resonated with me because we have a particular set of body issues that is different from yall. I think the accusations of self promotion are needlessly cynical. A good narrative is a good narrative.

Jenkins on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Jenkins — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:15:41 +0000

Oh God, I have been there. The air mattress that makes you feel like you don't have any right to sleep in your overpriced city apartment, worrying about what the guys you're dating will think of you if they find out about the bedbugs, then thinking, "should I be dating this person if I'm worried about them freaking out about my bedbug issue?", then thinking "I can't fucking believe that I'm overthinking my dating life (and choice of friends) because I'm afraid of how they'll react." Living in fear after you've gotten rid of them ("gotten rid"), reading the horror stories on Bedbugger.com and then getting mad at yourself for doing that, not being able to do anything without thinking about them. I haven't met many people in New York who *aren't* afraid of getting them -- one of the few instances was a few weeks ago, when I met a woman who didn't even know they were a problem in New York. And I pictured her perfect life, free of bedbug worries (well, before she met me, at least) and I was so, so jealous. Molly, thank you for being so pretty and making the bites look less creepy than they are...I'm amazed. Wtf is wrong with the commenters who are being insulting? A bedbug colony is headed for their box spring soon, if only because of karma.

DougBaker on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

DougBaker — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:52:48 +0000

I don't know which field would be better for you, acting or writing. My blinded eyes say either would suit you well.

Kerry on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Kerry — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:24:56 +0000

can't beat off to this

mickeyitaliano on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

mickeyitaliano — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:59:06 +0000

I just wanted to put on Jerry Lewis teeth when she said "Big Star".

Tarrabyte on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Tarrabyte — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:59:21 +0000

Bed bugs in hotels are common. If you were able to actually see bed bugs it would be a horrendous infestation. Bed bug bites are painful and itchy and can stay that way for weeks if you react. You can watch videos on how to inspect a hotel room at www.bedbugsnorthwest.com

davidwatts on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

davidwatts — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:02:40 +0000

It's the bedbugs that are shameless?

6h057 on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

6h057 — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:27:59 +0000

I love how good Molls is at making blogging fun and interesting. I don't think I've gotten so much enjoyment from such a gross and personal story.

balsa_wood on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

balsa_wood — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 01:44:29 +0000

Sorry, that was a reply to NatashaVC. This reply system, it confuses me.

balsa_wood on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

balsa_wood — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 01:43:49 +0000

Okay, if you please, how is this a lady's issue? I'm not sure the "scary imprint" they make on a man's skin would be any more...uncomfortable...unpleasant...unattractive...traumatizing? How far you willing to go? Would you say the bedbugs raped her? Beyond that, let's not overanalyze self-promotion. Molly McAleer, at least as I remember her in those painfully sloppy and limp videowhateverthefucks on Defamer, really, really likes her own spiel, her own routine, and especially her own face. It's branding. Wink-wink branding, but branding nevertheless. Because, really, what else we got here? Another bedbugs story?

IBentMyWookie on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 01:14:10 +0000

I think Ms. McAleer still believes her brand is going to happen. Or she's looking for compliments from strangers on the internet. Not sure which is sadder.

TerseNursePornstein on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

TerseNursePornstein — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:04:34 +0000

O??????O

Atencio on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Atencio — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 22:48:37 +0000

I dated a girl who had bedbugs once. It was a pretty awful ordeal. It started when we noticed what we thought were baby roaches in her Koreatown apartment, and from there it progressed in suspicions later confirmed by internet searches, a lying landlord claiming that one spray treatment from an exterminator would fix the problem, and eventually, her moving out of her apartment and staying with me. Before that I'd had no idea how bad bed bugs really were (indeed, I had somewhat assumed they were the stuff of urban myth). All of which is to say, I empathize with you. Great essay.

NatashaVC on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NatashaVC — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:02:08 +0000

Let's not even talk about what lurks in our eyebrows.

NatashaVC on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NatashaVC — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:59:20 +0000

As a lady, I think the photos are important. Beyond the monetary and emotional havoc bed bugs create there is a really scary imprint they make on your body. It doesn't feel like your skin belongs to you anymore. But there's Molls, owning it, looking fresh.

NatashaVC on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NatashaVC — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:55:26 +0000

It's spelled Turbo-XXX

Onjay on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Onjay — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:53:45 +0000

Ah. I was trying to figure out what the pictures had to do with anything. I guess that tells me.

Chuck McCarthy on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Chuck McCarthy — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:28:15 +0000

Turbo is going to be very excited that you did this shoot adorned with his phone number.

MollyBloomberg on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

MollyBloomberg — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:45:35 +0000

I know, right? Pic troi is very, well - you know.

betsy on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

betsy — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:35:56 +0000

Isn't this a Gus Van Sant-style shot for shot remake of Emily Gould's NYT Magazine photo shoot?

NatashaVC on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NatashaVC — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:47:16 +0000

Hi! I left that comment. Commenting integrity is important to me.

prufrocksspoons on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

prufrocksspoons — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:47:08 +0000

Oh Dammit. Till now I've sometimes been annoyed by you, Molls. Now I'm less annoyed, more aroused and paranoid - about bedbugs. Phantom itching and all.

Mary Mouse on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Mary Mouse — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:36:32 +0000

I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT EXACT THING. Anyway, I loved this article.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Natasha Vargas-Cooper — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:34:58 +0000

There is so much indignity these shameless little fuckers cause. I think the worst is the transient bullshit of having to sleep on air matress in your own place. Like you're a guest in THEIR castle. Ugh, girl, you deserve a pillowtop for dayz.

grandpa27 on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

grandpa27 — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:30:00 +0000

Was the dude crab free?

JulieKlausner on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

JulieKlausner — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:21:29 +0000

Even as Bitten as Mark Bittman's blog, Molls is the hawtness. Also, I think Babeland just ordered a seminar on "Velveteen Rabbit-ing."

kitten_witawip on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

kitten_witawip — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:37:13 +0000

"My landlord is legally responsible to pay for my extermination (a very good landlord will even put you up in a hotel while they fumigate your place, FYI), but he is dodging the $180 bill and I am too tired to fight about it." Write him a letter with a copy of the bill telling him that you are deducting that amount from your rent.

tunamelt on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

tunamelt — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:19:34 +0000

They are terrifying and during the Station Fire when it was hot as hades outside, I inadvertently left my window open and came home to about 6 or 7 flying around my tiny studio.

tunamelt on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

tunamelt — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:13:00 +0000

Also. You are wearing American Apparel nail polish in Office, no?

Liz on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Liz — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:00:22 +0000

I love Molls' ring. Also this post.

@unfuckwithable on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

@unfuckwithable — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:53:51 +0000

Not gonna lie, I read this article for the pictures.

earlydinner on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

earlydinner — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:38:14 +0000

@missdelite. That's okay--I just assume all the responses to all the pieces are directed at me.

HiredGoons on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

HiredGoons — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:23:27 +0000

<- also became itchy.

flossy on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

flossy — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:15:11 +0000

I take it that bedbugs, like most other trends, took 2-3 years to migrate from New York to LA? Because this felt like an American Apparel ad had become sentient and started telling me about what life was like back in the summer of 2008.

missdelite on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

missdelite — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:12:22 +0000

@earlydinner: The point is boys like the photos. Urgh. These reply buttons suck.

missdelite on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

missdelite — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:08:34 +0000

Boys like 'em.

Jasmine on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Jasmine — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:05:55 +0000

I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: put the legs of your new bed in little containers with baby oil in them. It'll keep them from getting in your new bed. Been there, done that and agree it was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced. We're survivors, Molls.

DoctorDisaster on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

DoctorDisaster — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:05:33 +0000

Palmetto bugs! They're the norm where I live. I still remember the first time I went to squish one and it launched a FLYING KAMIKAZE ATTACK AT MY FACE. Mainly because I spent the following week curled up in a corner of my bedroom, sobbing.

DoctorDisaster on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

DoctorDisaster — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:03:26 +0000

This made my day.

Tanya77 on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Tanya77 — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:58:55 +0000

Molls, really great article. Well done, Girl.

KenWheaton on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

KenWheaton — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:40:45 +0000

Not to make you paranoid, but does all the exterminating do any good if the bedbugs are more than likely still in every other unit in the building? Aren't they just waiting for you to turn your back, let your guard down ... fall asleep. Damn. Now I'm all itchy and shit after reading that. And I'm at work.

City_Dater on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

City_Dater — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:36:53 +0000

This made me itch. As all good insect-inspired writing should. And if those are four of the seven clothing items you chose to keep, the sartorial angels weep for you.

lululemming on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

lululemming — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:34:38 +0000

No offense to Molly. I hate to talk about you like an object, but the leg work's been done for me.

lululemming on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

lululemming — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:33:40 +0000

At some point we'll all have to give in and accept that this kind of presentation is that status quo. Molly is talented and genial enough to convince me she's not a complete prat, even with the topless photos, so maybe that's just how it is now - news with more id that we're used to. Personally, I had my money on new via single-panel LOLCat (viz. "Dumbledore is gay?!!??") but this will do.

liz on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

liz — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:25:10 +0000

Joy. and also to show how little (visible) damage the bed bugs have actually done.

earlydinner on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

earlydinner — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:21:42 +0000

The photos. The photos. What is the point of those photos?!

adminslave on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

adminslave — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:15:00 +0000

I had a similar situation a few years back with fleas thanks to two crappy roommates and two infested extremely anti-social cats (illegally living in the closet)--all in a one bedroom. No one wanted to spend any money on an exterminator and we couldn't tell the landlord because the cats were illegal. I would go to sleep with the light on, wearing jeans over my sweatpants, a jacket, and my socks over my pants, completely covered in deet (we also had no heat because it broke down and my roommates didn't want to pay for gas). I moved out shortly thereafter and never spoke to those lovely ladies again, though I do hear from friends that the cat owner is now a massive coke head, so I guess I missed on some awesome times.

lululemming on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

lululemming — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:05:09 +0000

The gratuitous vanity photos say "you shouldn't like this", but the part of me that battled a vermin infestation all by my ownsome right after a broken-off engagement read the whole thing and identified. (And then overshared!) Anyways, I'm off to look at Julia Allison's cheesecake photo essay depicting the effects of a raccoon living in one's kitchen cupboard.

PatsyStoned on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

PatsyStoned — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:54:36 +0000

Don't you need a boner to bone a dude? Unless you use an apparatus of some sort.

HiredGoons on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

HiredGoons — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:53:29 +0000

I may steal that Polaroid decorating scheme.

Emily on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Emily — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:11:40 +0000

I heard hearts all over Brooklyn break when I read the line "Sometimes I bone this dude"

tunamelt on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

tunamelt — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:55:36 +0000

As another resident of Koreatown, Los Angeles, I have to admit I am far more concerned about the flying roaches the size of my palm than the bed bugs.

MisterHippity on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

MisterHippity — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:54:57 +0000

Hey, remember that Seinfeld episode when Elaine sent out the Christmas cards? Dunno what just made me think of that ...

Abe Sauer on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

Abe Sauer — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:47:47 +0000

Wait, Dov Charney gave you bedbugs?

KarenUhOh on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

KarenUhOh — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:41:34 +0000

This is like if Orkin bought American Apparel.

MisterHippity on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

MisterHippity — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:40:05 +0000

Hey Molls, good luck with that bedbug problem. I hope you can ... nip it in the bud. So to speak.

NotAndersonCooper on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

NotAndersonCooper — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:37:27 +0000

Is that a Chanel tattoo or a map of Australia?

blueprint on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

blueprint — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:34:34 +0000

This article changed me 4 eva.

breccia on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

breccia — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:32:22 +0000

Once, my insane boyfriend-at-the-time found a dead, adult bedbug on my bare mattress when I was moving out of a slummy apartment in Pittsburgh. He spent the next 6-9 months refusing to sleep. He analyzed every visible particle of dust he found, thinking it may be a bug. Any mark on his body was met with obsessive scrutiny. He hot washed every article of clothing he owned, ruining many. His insanity made me cry at least 3 times, thinking that this one rogue, deceased bug and I had ruined his life (to be fair, we had.) An exterminator once told him he had NO signs of an infestation. He assumed he was lying and continued to sleep on his porch in a rocking chair, sitting upright. So I guess I would like to add that while acquiring bravery is a great outcome to a bedbug infestation, pure insanity is also a reasonable alternative. (We broke up months later, but not because of the bugs. I now consider our time together to have been a "learning experience" more than "a relationship.")

WindowSeat on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

WindowSeat — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:30:35 +0000

This except a condo with 4 roommates and the culprit was scabies. Twenty years and I still shudder when I think about it.

TerseNursePornstein on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

TerseNursePornstein — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:25:13 +0000

Hoarders taught me about something called "carpet beetles." I thought this was a a regional nickname for this critter--but turns out it is a thing!

devaluingmyfame on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

devaluingmyfame — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:20:37 +0000

That was amazing and, by amazing, I mean HORRIFYING but still really funny at the same time.

mathnet on Bed Bugs: Is No One Safe?

mathnet — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:15:22 +0000

(Sorry, Alex, that article was actually about her.)