"With a target in mind, the next consideration is body position. To slow your descent, emulate a sky diver. Spread your arms and legs, present your chest to the ground, and arch your back and head upward. This adds friction and helps you maneuver. But don't relax. This is not your landing pose."
-Popular Mechanics' how-to guide for surviving a fall of 35,000 feet after one's plane has exploded includes lots of information you hope you never need (try to smash through a glass skylight or land in a swamp) and awesome accounts of true-life miracles.
Monday, February 1, 2010
14
Before I read the italicized part, I thought these were instructions for a really kick-ass bukkake stunt.
Dear Tiffany Glass Skylight:
I'm sorry I used you to break my fall after falling out of an airplane.
WELL I DON'T NEED ANY COFFEE THIS MORNING.
Luggage always survives.If your plane explodes, immediately climb into a suitcase.
But then you land in a zoo and a giant gorilla starts jumping up and down on you.
Just remember to always bring a kitten and some shiny objects with you when you fly. That way you can distract the gorilla and run away.
Funniest part is this reminder: "But don't relax." Tempting though it would be to just assume that skydiver pose, kick back and think about your to-do list, try to keep in mind that you're hurtling toward the ground at 32 feet per second per second.
so according to the article i should try to land feet first if i'm in a plane crash? wouldn't that shatter all the bones in my lower body? ahhhhh! how should i land without breaking everything?!?!
http://media.pyweek.org/dl/9/the_furlaans/menu.jpg
This really calls for a Wile E. Coyote pic.
My hero!
Meanwhile this chick who fell 17,000 ft. and then navigated the Amazon for ten days with a broken collarbone and maggot-filled wounds? World's biggest badass. "No big deal, I just followed the water."
Schwarzenegger: "Where am I?"
Child of Junkyard Owner: "Earth. Welcome!"
Also, although the chick who fell into the Amazon is indeed a badass, she is not quite as much of a badass as the Mexican woman who took 3 shots of tequila and then gave herself a C-section with a broken beer bottle. This actually happened.