Friday, January 22nd, 2010
97

The New Domino's Pizza Recipe: An Extended Taste Test Review From Both Coasts (And an Appreciation of Domino's Exquisite Online User Experience)


Mary HK Choi: Really quick background question: were you prompted to eat Domino's because of their new ad campaign?
David Cho: Oh for sure, I'd been watching those commercials for the last couple of weeks.
Mary: Me too.
David: They make a really compelling argument!
Mary: Agreed. There's something about contrition that makes me want to throw money at it.
Mary: Was the line "When they said our sauce tasted like ketchup it broke my heart" what got you?
Mary: Because it definitely did me.
David: Not to mention the guarantee.
David: What percentage of people ever actually follow through with something like that, to go to the trouble of saying, "I'M NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS PIZZA, GIMME MY MONEY BACK"?
Mary: So from a business standpoint you respect their G also?
David: Yeah, I just like when brands prey on people's laziness by making promises that seem to mean more than they actually do.
David: Very savvy.
David: I also like 40% more herbs in the sauce.
Mary: Numbers.
David: Numb3rs.
Mary: You love numbers.
David: I LOVE CBS HOUR-LONG DRAMAS!
Mary: GAY.
Mary: Final background question: How often did you eat Domino's before the new formula?
David: Not much really.
David: My fast food pizza allegiance lies with Papa John's.
David: I think I would eat anything covered in that garlic butter.
Mary: Even more so than the mom and pop fold 'em up New York pizza parlors?
David: 95% of the pizza in this city is not as good as Papa John's, based solely on the garlic butter.
Mary: POWERFUL statement. And one I do not totally disagree with.
David: But let me qualify that comment by saying that it's really like comparing apples and oranges.
Mary: Right. Like how Taco Bell is not Mexican food so much as its own food group.
David: But I just say that because a lot of uppity people sleep on Papa John's because they're like, OH I HAVE TO GO TO LUZZO'S OR DI FARA'S OR WTF-EVER.
Mary: Right. We are excluding all pizza parlors you have to wait forever like an asshole for, because that shit is some fetishistic annoying "foodie" shit.
David: I mean I get that it's delicious, but Papa John's has its own charm and delicious-ness too!
Mary: Of course and you and I are lazies so we like when they bring it to us, and bring lots of it.
Mary: With SAUCE!
Mary: So let's talk about the damn pie.
David: I once went to a friend's house 20 blocks away one time because Papa John's doesn't deliver to my neighborhood.

PART ONE: THE SAUCE. 40% MORE HERBS T/F???

Mary: TRUE.
Mary: And by "herbs" I mean, things that make it taste like it has more layers of flavor.
Mary: Because who knows if they are real herbs.
David: YERP
David: It's better though!
David: Right?
David: It tastes more like something!
Mary: BUT.
Mary: More salty? T/F?
David: VERY MUCH MORE SALTY.
Mary: Better for sure.
Mary: And slightly more sweet.
David: YEAH
David: HERE'S A WORD OF ADVICE TO ANYONE WHO'S THINKING OF ORDERING A DOMINO'S PIZZA
Mary: Yes?
David: Do NOT get Italian sausage on it unless you are prepared for a very high level of salty AND sweetness created by the combo of the sausage and sauce.
Mary: YES.
Mary: Which was my folly, for half my pie.
Mary: Let's discuss crust.
Mary: Because we should've worked outside in.

PART TWO: THE CRUST. THOUGHTS?

Mary: David.
Mary: DAVID.
David: Yes, Mary?
Mary: Crust!
Mary: I detected more yellowish butter flavor crystals.
David: You're doing the crust a disservice
David: If you get this new pizza, the crust is THE KEY.
Mary: I agree.
Mary: And it's TASTY with the new sauce.
David: The highest praise I could give this crust is that it tastes like BREAD STIX™.
Mary: This is absolutely accurate.
David: Isn't that what we always want from our pizza crust though?
Mary: Well, you and I do. we've discussed that we prefer this to the "cracker" crust.
Mary: Texturally as well. Good pushback. Toothsome, as it were.
David: JUST LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN.
David: Which actually isn't true at all.
Mary: I know.
Mary: You like rexi bitches.
David: BE SUBMISSIVE LIKE A GOOD ASIAN LADY KTHXBAI.
Mary: AND THIN THIIIIN.
Mary: Actually not like that second "thin," it's too fat.
David: So final answer: Domino's crust is nothing like girls that I want to date and the one's that your mother wishes you were more like.
Mary: YES. And yellow.
Mary: Question.
David: Yes'm.
Mary: There wasn't however a cheese element to the crust right?
Mary: Because now I am getting confused because the bread stix do.
David: No cheese, all garlic I thought.
David: Buttery and garlicky.
Mary: Agreed.
David: Well, there's two things
David: 1) bread stix.
David: 2) CHEESY stix.
Mary: Right.
David: Yeah, so a bread stick/x can just be with the glaze and the taste.
Mary: OK. Correct. Let's talk dough as a different factor from crust.
David: Not different at all.
David: Which I'm OK with.
David: My pizza palate isn't like the ones of pizza bloggers where they talk about "the hole."
Mary: I thought it was sturdy and good.
David: Yeah, tasted fine.
David: DID NOT BREAK.
Mary: OK. Let's talk cheese.

PART THREE: CHEESE. IS IT DIFFERENT?

David: So the last claim of the Domino's commercial is that they're using higher quality cheese with a blend.
Mary: I thought it was a more complex cheese flavor than the usual white epoxy cheese that they use.
Mary: It didn't taste like, say, a fresh buffalo mozz because that expectation is crazytown.
David: How do you think it compared as an "upgrade" compared to the sauce and crust though?
Mary: I did not think it was as marked an upgrade as crust and sauce.
Mary: BUT also a little saltier.
David: Are you sure that wasn't your sausage or sauce though?
Mary: The one thing I did notice was there was less cheese.
Mary: But I ordered mine in Los Angeles.
David: Really? Mine had a TON of cheese.
David: My roommate commented that it was almost "too cheesy"
Mary: Mischief's afoot.
Mary: I always pick off all the cheese.
Mary: Rearrange all the fixin's.
Mary: And then redistribute the cheese.
Mary: But in LA I did not have to.
David: So I guess the takeaway is don't order pizza from Domino's in LA?
Mary: Also, you're right. I have no idea about sausage saltiness as a factor for the cheese. Because that sausage salt cauterized my tongue into one giant pulsing tastebud.
David: Wait, do you do that with pizza here?
David: Like you go to a pizza place and rearrange the pizza to your likings?
Mary: Yes.
Mary: All the time.
David: Oh gosh.
David: Your hands must get GROSS.
Mary: Well sure.
Mary: But I am a disgusting eating partner.
Mary: At least, I blot and then redistribute.
David: So high maint.
Mary: And then I start wheedling whoever I'm with for their crust before anyone has gotten there.
Mary: And maybe have some of their drink because I love fountain soda
David: Oh man.
David: Sidebar?
Mary: Yes.
David: I was at the Subway on Houston and Mott the other day
David: And I got a $5 footlong and some dude was trying to go get a refill at the fountain soda machine.
David: And the proprietor was like, "No, 50 cents for a refill!"
David: I found that for some reason very, very disturbing.
Mary: You should.
Mary: That's deplorable.
Mary: It's like 3 cents worth of syrup for fuck's sake.
David: I KNOW.
David: They also don't have three types of "meat" in their Cold Cut Combo, but don't get me started.
Mary: Did you know that in Starbucks they won't give you a refill if you've ever stepped outside with your cup?
David: The economy is ruining our fast food.
Mary: I used to just carry the one 20oz cup from sbux to sbux and get refills for a dime.
Mary: I also used to totally want kidney stones obvi.
Mary: ANYWAY. Let's talk about my folly and then move to our favorite thing about D's.

PART FOUR: WE HAVE OTHER THOUGHTS ON DOMINO'S.

David: What other takeaways did we have from our respective Domino's ordering experiences?
Mary: The customer service.
Mary: So I didn't get the two medium, two toppings for $5.99.
Mary: Which was INSANE of me.
David: FOOL.
Mary: I know.
Mary: I got a large, with willy nilly toppings, and spent a fortune, and I got half this, half that.
David: What toppings did you get, and what toppings would you recommend?
Mary: i got pepp on the other side and almost made myself turn into jerky.
Mary: SO salty.
Mary: With olives.
Mary: Almost died.
Mary: I would actually suggest going veggies?
Mary: And I know that's bananas.
Mary: But it's honestly what I'd do. Like olives and onions or some shit. The sodium nitrate bombs are too intense.
Mary: I was parched for days.
David: Well. I DID get the 2 medium 2-toppings for $5.99 each.
Mary: Because you're a champion.
Mary: And good with numbers.
David: And I got one with pepperoni and onion.
David: And the other with sausage and spinach.
Mary: OOOOH spinach!
Mary: I never do that.
David: Both of which were a little salty, but I would RECOMMEND STILL.
Mary: Interesting!
David: That brings us to what I LOVED about my Domino's experience: ORDERING AND USER EXPERIENCE.
David: So, when you order a Domino's online, it's like a video game in which you make your own pizzas!
Mary: Indeed! And it's an incredibly intuitive user experience.
David: They have this pizza that you add toppings and then when you click them they show up on the screen!
Mary: And your half toppings show up too.
David: Even my spinach decision was based on how nice the spinach looked on screen!
David: And I chose not to get black olives for that same reason!
David: It's really incredible.
Mary: And they keep "your Domino's" on file, which is nice.
David: I'm not sure I want people being able to trace that back to me?
David: Never leave a paper trail.
David: SO that's great? But also?
David: They have this thing that let's you TRACK YOUR PIZZA WHILE IT'S GETTING MADE.
David: AND THE PIZZA TRACKER IS UNBELIEVABLE.
Mary: IT IS.
David: Mine told me at what stage of preparation my pizza was in AND who was doing it.
David: LUIS CHECKED MY PIZZA'S QUALITY.
LUIS! GOOD JOB!
David: SERGIO DELIVERED IT.
David: AND I confirmed with my delivery guy that his name was in fact Sergio!
Mary: YES.
David: Like, isn't this the future?
David: Has the Internet ever been used more effectively
Mary: NO.
Mary: NEVER.
Mary: Not even one time.
David: SORRY, GOOGLE.
Mary: But again, the intuitiveness? There's something so human about being satisfied when a little bar tells you that your pizza has come out of the oven.
Mary: There's nothing worse than having no gauge for when your order will appear.
Mary: Other than "it's been longer than 45 minutes."
Mary: Because whenever you call? They tell you it's on the way. And sometimes? It's just not. And you know it's not!
David: If there was a way that Seamless Web could integrate this into my order of hot wings, it would be UNREAL.
David: A boy can dream I guess.
Mary: I need a little handholding with seamless.
Mary: A little personal touch.
Mary: Like SERGIO.
David: So. Final thoughts?
Mary: We will not be asking for our money back
Mary: Also, I would do this again. Even though their pasta in the bread bowl things make me want to barf.
Mary: ALSO. They do have Coke Zero? Not in fountain yet, but in bottle, and it's good.
David: I'VE HAD THE PIZZA BREAD BOWL!
David: That's a separate chat though.
Mary: Yes it is, you big fucking fatso grossmonster.
David: I AM SVELTE AND ASIAN!
Mary: It's true. With a great head of hair.
David: Oh stop.
Mary: Made of pizza. Can you imagine if they did a hair test on you? "You are 89% preservative."
Mary: Hence: YOUTH.
David: FINAL THOUGHT: ORDER THIS PIZZA PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!
Mary: Other than so much.

PIZZA SIMS


Mary HK Choi is The Awl's first-string dining critic. David Cho is the publisher of The Awl.

97 Comments / Post A Comment

mathnet (#27)

WTF you pick off the cheese and rearrange the toppings?? SHIT JUST GOT REAL

tvandwings (#3,143)

Just wrote this exact same post (albeit not with so much CAPS) two days ago. Glad I'm not the only one who loves the pizza tracker!

http://tvandwings.com/2010/01/21/new-recipe-dominos-pizza-revie-the-coors-light-of-pizza-technology/

'Suddenly, I was looking 20 years into the future. Time slowed down as I tried to grasp what was going on. Information started processing like falling dominoes. My pizza was being assembled. Somewhere, Mohammad was preparing my crust. How does this machine know what Mohammad is doing to my pizza? Like a tribesman pulled away from his home by the Travel Channel, I watched in mystified disbelief at an absolutely foreign and awesome technology. Minutes passed before I realized I should grab a screenshot. By this time my pizza was being fired up.'

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

Yes. Each bite must be completely uniform for a truly enjoyable pizza eating experience. Therefore I can't eat on-the-go or whatever other people do. Also, I only like a very little bit of cheese. Otherwise I get the Itis.

Fuck you, now I'm hungry.

NicFit (#616)

Why do people in New York EVER eat Domino's or Papa Johns? I thought the only way these places stay in business is their proximity to large dormitories.

For a slice, The Pizza Shop on Ave. A & 7th is near perfect. For fetishistic "foodie" shit go for Artichoke or Motorino.

Rw (#1,458)

Right? Dominoes is fucking disgusting and even Here in D.C. there is better, I have the misfortune of being Half New Yorker and the first place I ever had pizza was there because My Mother just would not Eat or Buy Pizza anywhere else, except for this one place that was too good to stay open, when I was growing up. The new Dominoes Gave me heartburn Like a mother fucker last week and It was still Fucking Disgusting.

janine (#248)

Perhaps it's my diet making me cranky but I'm pretty sure that half New Yorker is longhand for not a New Yorker.

Rw (#1,458)

No it's short hand for I spent a ton of time there growing up because My mother is tight with her family as am I.

Rw (#1,458)

Shit forgot, I dig your point though it's like How Obama isn't half White, I agree, he could never get half a Job a Whole black person couldn't or get Half lynched in the wrong part of the country at the wrong time in history, it's all the way or nothing. Don't worry I only lay claim to half my blood coming from that end I am 100% District of Columbian.

allyzay (#321)

I'm usually not one to nitpick about these types of things, but honey? Your capitalization style is Fucking Disgusting. I feel like I'm getting a headache trying to read what you're saying.

janine (#248)

Yeah, I live in Washington Heights, so that's totally worth it to me when I'm hung over!

This was like those Avatar reviews for me. Loved reading about it, never gonna eat it.

HiredGoons (#603)

this statement is true.

Bittersweet (#765)

Absolutely.

David Cho (#3)

You can't really compare the two, the same way you don't compare the Minetta burger to a Big Mac. Sure, they're both delicious, but they're actually just completely different things.

I live around the corner from Bleecker St Pizza but it's so true, also I share your love of Papa Johns, which I actually never had until I saw it was listed on Seamless. Now I ask for extra jalapenos and butter sauce.

BUTTER SAUCE is divine.

migraineheadache (#1,866)

THANK YOU. I have been worried about this all week but they don't deliver here and I haven't felt like taking the gamble of being unhappy about a 20 minute walk in the cold on top of being angry at a pizza.

RE: SUBWAY – I have seen a man drink out of his hand at the one on lafayette near the vampire store since the employees can't see the fountain. "I don't have a cup!" he said. I am still mad at myself for not shouting something about weezing the juice.

migraineheadache (#1,866)

Oops – this was not meant as a reply.

Clip Arthur (#2,024)

Well, it started to lean towards folks going for Domino's or Papa John's the second foodies and that blog Slice turned over analyzing petit differences an artform. Seriously, the supposedly "subtle differences" between slices that Slice claims barely exists. There are three types of non-chain pizza places in NYC: The crappy doughy slice place, the decent slice place and the gourmet wait-in-line-and-gush places.

Yeah there are shades in between, but the deal is simple: If you are a bumpkin who doesn't know good from bad pizza, you'll think foodie critiques of pizza places hold water. Your head will explode after you travel 1/2 way around the city to get a supposed "amazing" slice. You will get tired of that and then just get the good old Domino's or Papa John's.

So yeah, this Domino's stuff is what my yid-self would call a "Chaza ra"; they added 10 cents worth of ingredients and wrapped it in foodie "you control the process" stuff and… Whala!

THIS DELIGHTS ME TO NO END.

NO. END.

Yeah, this was pretty much entirely awesome. I'd go on, but it's Friday and yeah, phoning it in.

Jerkwheat (#2,247)

This delightful new recipe left me a little explosive for a solid 36 hours. So, of course I will order again as soon as I forget about that incident.

El Matardillo (#586)

This was one of the best reviews I've ever read. Now, I need to order.

Rw (#1,458)

For your sake, I beg you, Don't Do This.

gregorg (#30)

hell, for $5.99, you could send it to somebody else and actually pay for it. Domino's is the new muffin basket!

mathnet (#27)

CHOIRE SICHA CLEAN-SETTING PIZZA COMES WITH NO SUCH GUARANTEE

mathnet (#27)

(Please display your Domino's Thank-you Gift Tracker.)

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

The "SORRY GOOGLE" exchange almost made me hyperventilate, I was laughing so hard.

ALL REVIEWS SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN THE FORM OF A DIALOGUE.

zidaane (#373)

Can we have ALL the CHOI/CHO transcripts please.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Better: to get them by SMS in real time. For anatomically correct ADD brain velocity.

zidaane (#373)

I don't think my request is out of line. We must know everything about this new synergy. I think it transcends
everything we thought we knew and makes whole new paradigms possible. It's opening new worlds for me even as I sit here and just think about it.

Tonight I will dream that Mary and David went into the back of a wardrobe closet just to see where it takes me. I'm both frightened and excited.

zidaane (#373)

I will settle for the hidden cracker crust conversation.

Is this a preview of the new Tao Lin?

lempha (#581)

Thanks for that.

Rw (#1,458)

"40% more herbs in the sauce" I had to laugh at this. for some reason the 13 year old in me took this in as "Dominoes Increased their workforce by 40%", just for a sec though, back to the speed reading course.

HiredGoons (#603)

The fact that this is a world with bread sticks and BREAD STIXâ„¢ makes me very, very sad.

Rw (#1,458)

I totally agree…thanks for not letting me ignore it. Apathy please hurry it's Friday goddamn it.

Daisy (#2,667)

"Available for Carryout only for your specified location."

:(

Daisy (#2,667)

BUT! Papa John's will bring me some pizza.

David Cho (#3)

You are luckier than you know.

Flashman (#418)

The author has a really good understanding of how the kids talk these days.

jolie (#16)

You really couldn't have waited three minutes to post this? OH COME ON!

Maggie (#24)

"Mary: Numbers.
David: Numb3rs.
Mary: You love numbers.
David: I LOVE CBS HOUR-LONG DRAMAS!
Mary: GAY."

No, no. AWESOME. Cho and his Papa Johns are welcome chez moi (which is nowhere but never mind) any Friday night at 10 pm EST.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Is this like Gawker's ad post with no ad-notation advertorial post thing?! Because that's GENIUS!

Rod T (#33)

I'm a total Choifag, but I just want to take her to nicer places where there aren't so many chemicals and flavorings in her foodstuffs. Seriously? No such thing as a cute three-eyed mutant baby.

Ever seen a three-eyed mutant baby that wasn't cute? Anyway, the chemicals and flavorings kill all the germs and act like cleansers in the arteries.

starbex (#3,144)

#1 This is my favorite thing on the internet today by, like, a million
#2 Really about the Papa Johns? I have scoffed at it for years since I am from New Jersey and I like my pizza made by the mafia in a tiny, independent pizzeria, please. Is it better than whatever else is on seamless? And do they deliver at 3am or whenever I am drunk enough to screw the diet because I need hot, hot, melty cheese in my mouth?

allyzay (#321)

The answer to both of your questions is no.

Did you know you can now order Domino's from your iPhone?

Ted Maul (#205)

I think you can also order it from your TIVO!

It's true! You can! Which is… weird, but I guess kind of cool?
But I meant the ridiculousness of touting the use of a phone to order something that was originally intended to be ordered… with a phone.

HiredGoons (#603)

Why are there labias all over that pizza?

Mindpowered (#948)

HIGHEST QUALITY LABIAS!

crookedE (#1,817)

Does the Domino's website tell you what percentage of your $5.99 is donated to the National Right to Life Committee?

http://www.holysmoke.org/fem/fem0418.htm

Sorry to harsh your mellow, but the guy who owns Domino's is a complete dick.

smapdi (#1,306)

Then explain the extra fetus option.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

NOoooooooOoOooo!!! But I love abortions, too. Torn.
:(

mathnet (#27)

Choi, that is EXACTLY what I hoped/knew you'd say!

He sold it shortly after that article was written to a company called Bain Capital.
Rest easy & enjoy your pizza Mary.

gregorg (#30)

Because now it's owned by Mitt Romney!

Bittersweet (#765)

Mitt swapped pizza for politics and is no longer affiliated with Bain Capital.

Mittens? Holy cow, I had no idea.

Anyway, I have no dog in this fight. I order from the same local place I've been ordering from for 14 years, and there's no way in hell I'm trying Domino's. Mary's infectious enthusiasm landed me in a matinee of 2012 a few weeks ago, and it might take a while before I can trust again.

evilfred (#2,351)

Can you pick your delivery guy? Can they show you pics of all the delivery guys to pick out the cutest one? Grindr + Dominos plz?

mathnet (#27)

Oooooh, NOW shit just got real.

mathnet (#27)

Um actually? What's real is the comment above yours? Not yours.

HiredGoons (#603)

OH GOD MAKE IT SO!

Colin (#2,200)

THIS MAY SOUND TOTALLY GROSS BUT –

I seriously LOVE Dominoes thin crust with jalapenos and onions on top. Really loved and appreciated this convo.

Colin (#2,200)

Also, add pineapples to that and it's pretty damn good that way too.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

You are shit-flinging NUTS on the pineapple tip but a GENIUS about jalapenos. I got those on the side 50 cents! And you don't have to use up one of your two topping options. BEAT THE SYSTEM. I still can't believe I ordered a large. What a dolt…

cupcakes (#439)

Fucking hilarious!!

I am recreating your experiment. Even got spinach and sausage. BRING ON SERGIO!

cupcakes (#439)

Marcus just put my shit in the oven! YEAH

Mindpowered (#948)

^Met-tah!

tps12 (#3,145)

Domino's is crazy pro-life.

Mindpowered (#948)

More consumers. Duh!

No longer. That Monaghan dude sold it a long time ago to a huge financial conglom.

Flashman (#418)

What about the other two of the conscientious-liberal trifecta, veal and foie gras?
Not that there aren't plenty of other, non-barbarous things to eat

KarenUhOh (#19)

Jesus. EDIT. It's a Dominos pizza for Christ's sake.

That was so long I've got three deliveries waiting downstairs. I better be able to taste the fucking cheese.

Did you try the extra anchovies?

I want to share a fountain Coke with MHKChoi. And refills should always be free, by law.

Flashman (#418)

These girls all like Domino's:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGnNlQ-KNv4

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

I don't want to click through unless I know for sure that there's no poo involved.

Flashman (#418)

There is pop involved

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

OH I LOVE THIS.

Flashman (#418)

Yup. You could land a whale with that hook.

hockeymom (#143)

I eagerly await a discussion on CinnaStix.
(Or is that just something available in the middle of the country for the fatties…to send Abe over the edge?)

CinnaStix are the best ever.
They arrive in sort of a half moon shape, with the dough for each CinnaStick scored, but not sliced all the way through. You rip them apart so they look like bread sticks. They are covered in cinnamon and sugar, with a little carton of icing for dipping. I'm not sure what they put in the icing, but it is like nectar of the gods. If you heat it up, it gets kind of runny…if you let it sit for a while, it gets sort of chunky/congealed. In either state, it is amazing.
The whole concoction is so sweet that I do not think it is possible for one person to eat an entire order of CinnaStix on their own.
And too many CinnaStix for kids leads to vomiting them up at about 2am.

Bittersweet (#765)

CinnaStix kinda scare me, although I could see that the icing would be to die for. Do the kids ricochet off the walls for a while after eating, before the 2am barf-o-rama?

hugesunglasses (#2,696)

That post was fucking epic. I only wish the Noid was still around. Had his own Nintendo game and everything.

Clip Arthur (#2,024)

Ever hear of Kenneth Lamar Noid? Well….

Flashman (#418)

Return of the Noid? Dude, I'm sorry that you have to hear it here, on some sleazy New York City 'weblog', but the Noid is not coming back. Myself, the last time I saw Gary 'the Noid' Rosenberg he'd picked up a gig playing backup percussion for the California Raisins on the 1993 Ozzfest tour, which I caught in Penticton British Columbia Canada. This was only about 8 months after he'd abandoned his well-publicized campaing against Domino's pizza.
Yet at Ozzfest we saw a broken Noid, Skeletor-gaunt, ears drooping and making no effort at all to keep time with his castanets to the Raisin's sweet harmonies . It was quite incredible that that was the same demon who had tormented a multinational pizza corporation with the twin threats of sogginess and tardy delivery for going on seven years.
Drugs, sodium, anchovies, whatever, it was clear that the Noid was facing down some demons of his own. I can't say I was too surprised, maybe 18 months later, to hear that his bound, nude, sexually-assaulted body had been found in a drainage ditch near Bakersfield. Deeply in debt, and with Domino's having tightened its security policies he'd tried the same tactics against Taco Bell, only to find that the brutal 'cola wars' of the 1980s had left parent company RJR Reynolds-Pepsico in no mood to entertain the Noid's brand of mischief and shenanigans.
The Noid left behind a son and daughter to different mothers, neither of whom have shown (cf. wikipedia) any inclination towards continuing their father's legacy of fast-food subterfuge; both are pursuing baccalaureate degrees at separate midwestern colleges.

Mindpowered (#948)

Phaedra has nothing on the Noid.

salesman_carla (#1,439)

We got Domino's recently. It had roasted red peppers! On the Domino's!

admiralsnackbar (#3,182)

I can't say I'm all that moved to try Domino's new pie… their entire ad campaign tries to sell us on the idea that for 20+ years they've been unaware they were putting out shit, then suddenly, in a touching moment of anagnorisis, became embarrassingly aware of the state of their product and choose to redeem themselves. Their vast staff of likable, contrite chefs set sail on a voyage of pizza discovery armed with nothing but dough, tomatoes, and their adorable All-American can-do attitude. And the result of their hard work is a quantifiably superior pizza.

Call me cynical, but I expect they've always known what their pizza tasted like, and I likewise expect that they were in as much financial trouble as a most major corporations. Faced with one or several bad quarters and lukewarm reception of several new products (the sandwich and breadbowl), they came up with a moving story to win our hearts ("let's save the old Domino Theater from the villainous land developer by putting on a talent show!").

In a time when many of these same moribund corporations are trying to slink out of the limelight of their infamy and denying culpability, Domino's sell themselves as honest, approachable joes who are willing to air their contrition publicly and make good. Ain't that America?

I don't dispute the pizza may taste a bit different (Hungry Howie's-inspired crust flavoring, for example), but on the whole, people are buying the pizza to a) see if it really IS different, and; b) support the good guys. Seems a bit sleazy… but then, brilliant marketing often is.

I like you. Stick around.

LuxAlptraum (#3,195)

I cannot express how much I identify with the section of this conversation that is about Papa John's. OMG garlic butter. Also: pizza from the internet. Less human interaction=more better.

ragold (#2,746)

I finally got around to trying the new Dominoes. I can totally agree with the reviewers. It's an excellent value. Personally, I ordered the italian sausage (no salt complaints) with roasted red peppers. I topped it with some basil and habanero-carrot hot sauce. Three beers in the last slice is as good as the first.
Thanks for the inspiration!

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