The 600-year-old skull of the famed German pirate Klaus Störtebeker, has disappeared from Hamburg's history museum. It's a valuable item. The guy was a total rockstar.
Störtebeker means "empty the mug with one gulp" in old German. In the late 1300s, he sailed around the Baltic Sea kicking ass and taking names and gold and provisions from merchant ships. Legend has it that when was caught in 1400, and set to be executed with 73 of his men, he made a deal with the Mayor of Hamburg: however many of his fellow pirates he could run past after his beheading would be set free. After the blade fell, his body got up off the ground and ran, headless, past eleven men. But then the executioner tripped him and executed all 73 anyway. (The executioner was from Wales, apparently.) Störtebeker's head was put on a stake on an island in the Elbe River to ward off other would-be buccaneers. It was discovered there in 1867, the metal spike still protruding from the top, and has been displayed at the museum since 1922. The German punk band Slime immortalized Störtebeker in song in 1983, and now, apparently, Glenn Danzig has stolen his skull.
He might well have run past 11 of his men, but he did get a head start.
ok, I better get to work now.
whoops
HA
Somali pirates think this guy was just ahead of his time.
"Is there a way to make the blood go *up* the walls?"
"i cannot live with that guy. he is so annoying. he is so frightening. and he doesn't wear a shirt."
Probably a bunch of Polish skinhead teenagers.
Ok, fine, I'll give it back. But it looked so nice on my mantle!
It smells like bong water.
Whoa, according to wikitruth linked above, the story gets better! After decapitating the whole shipload of pirates, the welching Welsh executioner was asked (or axed, really) by the head of the senate whether he was tired; he said that he wasn't, and had enough energy left to execute the entire senate. This displeased them, so, they sentenced him to death, and the youngest member of the senate executed the Welsh executioner! (This, I think, is the story Danzig is trying to tell in Am I Demon?)
Welcome to my library.
I blame Norway.
As long as they don't steal the SWEDISH MUMMIES from the cathedral in Bremen, I'll rest easy.
In other skull related news: Beethoven's is for sale.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/keith-thomson/for-sale-beethovens-skull_b_427015.html
best. post. ever.
I should have mentioned, Iwantyrskull, that it was dedicated to you.
be still my zombie heart! (actually, it is pretty still in there...)
I don't buy this legend; German and pirate does not compute.
Think "Ostrogoth" rather than "Kaiser Wilheim."
Given its old German meaning, I feel like "Störtebeker" really needs to enter the lexicon: e.g., "That Alex Balk's a real Störtebeker."
I wonder if this was the origin of the name Studebaker?
Stud Bukake.
You're jizzed being silly.