The report that Keith Richards hasn't had a drink for four months seems a little sketchy in that whole "a source close to [X] reports" way, but if it actually turns out to be true, the suggestion that "Keith decided to quit booze after seeing his bandmate Ronnie Wood start drinking heavily again" has got to be a literally sobering reproach to Wood. If Keith Richards stops drinking because he thinks you have a problem, well, you have a problem.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
10
Ronnie Wood outdrank a Russian. That about says it.
Is it bad that I rank my friends in this way? It probably is.
Does this mean we can get Candy to team up with Keith Richards for a very special episode of Intervention?
No way. Richards would need JV2.
I prefer to think that Keith Richards just doesn't consider anything less than 180 proof an actual "drink."
Maybe he's just started mainlining ethanol? Drinking gets pretty fucking inefficient.
My uncle X - that was his real name, X - drank huge quantities of alcohol nearly every day of his life. He said he started drinking around 7 or 8. Not 7 or 8 in the morning; the ages 7 or 8. By 7 or 8 in the morning he'd already had three cups of coffee and a half pint of Old Fitzgerald. After that he'd drive around town all day in a beige and maroon Bronco drinking cans of Schlitz from a cooler he kept in the passenger seat. Sometimes he'd fall asleep waiting to pick me and my friends up after school. Whenever this happened we'd sneak up on him and dump him in the back, drive wherever we wanted out on the farm with the 4-wheel drive on and drink all his beer. Anyway, one day something spooked him off drinking. He never said what. He just parked his Bronco in the garage, came into the kitchen one afternoon and said he was going to bed. After that he never drank again. He died two months later. He was 71.
YAY KEITH!!!!
I heard Ronnie Wood ran into Balk at the Shark Bar and was scared sober!
The problem is that the cocktail waitresses hang out in bars.