Frustrated by the fact that their country has never won a World Cup soccer championship, Japanese scientists have developed a robot that can kick a soccer ball over 200 kilometers an hour. (That's about 125 MPH in American.) Japan hopes to field a team of these motorized super-players in this year's tournament, which kicks off in South Africa in June. As demonstrated in the horrific video above, the potentially lethal machine can blast appendages off any defender foolhardy enough to try to defend the net. "Do not stand in the way of our soccer robot's power," warned Japan's Minister of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology, Tatsuo Kawabata. "We will achieve a World Cup victory. We will stop at nothing."
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
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But is it as big a dickhead as Ronaldo?
No mere machine will ever truly replace the Brazilian Bellend.
I read somewhere that the robot is now considered a metaphor for the United States as well as an allegory of nuclear weapons in general.
Looks like somebody owes some royalties to James Cameron.
Seriously though, it kicks twice as fast a human. That's it? That doesn't seem to be that great. When you think about machines topping human ability an increase of just 100% seems very.... 19th century.
I agree. Ronaldo's been clocked at 130 kph. I'm thinking he might actually be able to defeat this thing. It'd be like a 21st-century update of the John Henry story.
But can Ronaldo score a goal while simultaneously mowing the playing field?
God, we do so need a new John Henry story.
Could it be with someone other than dickhead Ronaldo? Like, say, Taylor Twellman or Shairie Joseph?
And robot has the ball teed up. And the guy who kicks it 96 seems overweight and not so athletic and is wearing long pants and a sports jacket. And all that smoke seems to come from pipes on either side of robot and not from robot itself.
If nothing else, this robot is only a rotating blade attachment away from revolutionizing how soccer fields are mowed.
So, wow, "Minister of "Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology." That is a real thing. Big multitaskers, the Japanese.
Japan: When all else fails, build a killer robot.
I'm not sure how this thing is a robot as there's a guy driving it. If you're interested in Japanese robots, check out my work-in-progress "J, Robot".
http://www.facebook.com/pages/J-Robot/140350212868
200km/h? Pffff. Oliver Kahn could stop that with one hand, while he's sexting Giulia Siegel mit der andern.
http://www.hugi.is/knattspyrna/images.php?page=view&c