The benefits of having a sizable posterior may be greatly exaggerated by those wishing to sell you buttock-enhancing products, says an expert: "[M]y fat ass has yet to usher me into the world of the big-bottomed celebrity elite. I haven't figured out how to summon my ass weight in order to boost my confidence at home or in the workplace. I can't say that anyone has ever looked at my ass and said, 'Damn-that looks expensive.'"
And, no, pants don't fit. Ever.
Really. Is there anyone else in the internet who'd like to live life wearing long, heavy, modified-A-line skirts and gauzy, light blouses with tailored little under-boob vests? Can we start something please?
I WOULD NOT LET US LOOK LIKE WENCHES I PROMISE
I will jump on board, but I can't wear anything below the knee, as I am barely pushing 5'4.5"
That's kind of exactly how I imagined you dressed! In a good way of course.
It's how I dress in my imagination, and it's time to start doing it foreal! With respect to flattering the shape of a lot of women's bodies, and also practically speaking, it's seriously a smart way to go. MAKE ME SOME CLOTHES THAT I WANT TO WEAR FASHION
I am on-board. Provided I don't have to iron the blouses too often/ever.
And I'm not as anti-wench as I probably should be.
Jesus. I do not own an iron, Cher! Gauzy!
I'm in, provided Miracle Bras are allowed. Age and motherhood are hard on one's rack.
can we ban jeans on this island?
Jeans: out. Wonder bras: in. But the pert little vests will help with that, too!
My dyslexic ass can't help but read one or another version of "poop" when trying to read "booty pop."
Shit happens.
The same can be said for a huge rack.
STRONGLY AGREE
Now I've got this stuck in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b99cG5FJ1DE
You can do sidebends or sit-ups...
The Richard Cheese version is so wrong, but so right.
Best Richard Cheese evah!
I just feel the need to point out the use of cumbubble in comment #4.
I immediately looked it up.
I hesitated--the IT guys have been looking at me in an ambiguous manner lately.
As for being like the celebrity elite, the trick is to be a big ass, not to have one.
Yesterday while lying on my belly in yoga I suddenly noticed that I had a clear view of my own ass cheeks over each shoulder in the mirror in front of me. I could also see the guy behind me looking at same. Yoga pants. The only pants that fit.
Speaking as an expert, what a lot of people fail to realize is that there is a golden ratio of ass proportion. Just having a big wide flat ass is not going to do anything for anyone, well some guys are into it, but I digress. People just don't seem to take into account that hip to waist ratio, protuberance, width in relation to all of these variables, tightness, how it moves etc. all have a part to play. What's great about this is much like Breasts you just can't fake the real thing. I'm sure ass implants are a sin it's just so goddamn wrong and that booty pop thing is not ok either... both for me are Atomic Dealbreakers. I will take a real flat ass over a man made perfect one every damn day of the week.