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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

14

At Least We'll All Die Pretty

Your new terror fear: weaponized Botox.

Tags:

Terror

14 Comments / Post A Comment

Krugmanic Depressive

Today we are all Nicole Kidman.

Screen Name
Screen Name (#2,416)

Nice try. But it's going to take a lot more than a fear-mongering Washington Post story to keep me from injecting cheap Chechnyan botulinum toxin into my sleeping girlfriend's forehead to keep her young and vivacious looking.

"OW! OH MY GOD! What are you doing!!!?"
"Nothing."
"What is that needle?"
"What needle?"
"The one - the needle - where did you put it?"
"Ha ha. There's no needle!"
"This one on the goddamn floor."
"Oh, that's my insulin. I feel weird. Need orange juice."
"You're not a diabetic. What did you do to me?"
"I wouldn't frown like that if I were you, it could stick."

hockeymom
hockeymom (#143)

Can anybody get access to this cheap, illegal botox? Or is it only available to terrorists?
A friend of mine wants to know.

Tuna Surprise
Tuna Surprise (#573)

Oh, great. So the terrorists will win and my hyper hydrosis will go untreated. Might as well just put my head in the oven now.

DorothyMantooth

Oh, honey. That oven's not gonna do anything for those sweaty pits.

kneetoe
kneetoe (#1,881)

If it weren't SUCH a slow work day, "a mysterious cosmetics trader," in the first line, would've stopped me cold.

DoctorDisaster
DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Thanks, vain bitches, for creating an environment where the most deadly toxin known to man is a hot commodity on the black market. WAY TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY.

kneetoe
kneetoe (#1,881)

The hard part is getting a bunch of people to step on rusty nails.

No shit, there's a reason this doesn't kill tons of people already. And there's a reason neither the US or the Soviets could make a weapon out of it.

El Matardillo
El Matardillo (#586)

This stuff is rendered harmless by exposure to UV light, i.e. - daylight, so really only the vampires need worry.

Maura Johnston

This development is going to result in the best season of 24 ever.

libmas
libmas (#231)

Or at least the best-looking. Or at least the least wrinkly?

brad
brad (#1,678)

any day now, a botox-gas speeing roomba will zip by me on the sidewalk and i will appreciate the irony as i fall, blank-faced, to the ground.

brad
brad (#1,678)

'spewing' would have made that uninteresting comment more understandably uninteresting.

Screen Name
Screen Name (#2,416)

Don't be so hard on yourself. The reward is in saying "botox-gas speeing rommba" aloud.

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