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Friday, December 18, 2009

11

Trump SoHo: What Up, Closets?

FLOORWe have not been paying attention to the Trump SoHo hotel-condominium (WHICH IS BUILT ON A GRAVEYARD), unlike some people who are crazed about it, but I finally looked at the floorplans, because it opens in February? They're terrible! First of all, the non-penthouse condos top out at like 700 square feet, and most are like 450 square feet? But really: if you're going to buy a condo-ized hotel room (which you can only occupy for 120 days a year, max, and, um, no thanks), wouldn't you want an extra closet instead of 1.5 baths? One of the units has a "secure owner's closet," but the rest, not much. Thing is, you know, you'd want to keep some of your New York clothes at your own hotel room, obviously, when you wanted to swoop in high and hot from Bahrain or Burma! Good grief.

11 Comments / Post A Comment

Screen Name
Screen Name (#2,416)

I don't know, the location is ok and the layout seems totally fixable to me with a few minor design modifications. First, I'd want to knock down the wall between the living room and guest room, repaint the foyer base black with a fluorescent overspray pattern that reads, "EAT THE RICH AND USE THEIR SKIN FOR SLIPPERS", set both beds on fire with a gasoline and paraffin wax accelerant, dump a corrosive acid-based mixture down the plumbing system to prevent adequate drainage and steal the copper.

Choire Sicha

THAT, TOO!

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Patrick?

http://www.ejumpcut.org/archive/jc50.2008/BlueSteel/BluesteelJCimages/71DieYuppie.jpg

kneetoe
kneetoe (#1,881)

Really, if all you want to do is "prevent adequate drainage," couldn't you just use the stopper? The rest, though, sounds about right.

Screen Name
Screen Name (#2,416)

I was trying to avoid hiring a professional, but I see your point.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

That's a terrible carpet color.

HeyThatsMyBike

This whole concept is so Pre-Fall 2008.

Also: hotel-ctimeshare." You're one step away from Branson, Missouri, people.

Dr. Spaceman
Dr. Spaceman (#1,211)

It is a timeshare! How tacky.

Kataphraktos
Kataphraktos (#226)

One comment by Wookie, and this can become an archetype for an Awl post. BEST

sox
sox (#652)

speaking of 'one comment by'...where the hell has STC been for like DAYS????

Josh Rogan
Josh Rogan (#2,662)

There are closets in every one of those floorplans.

But as to the larger point... I agree. The whole endeavor seems questionable.

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