Why do you blurt out the stupid, embarrassing things at holiday parties? Because you're trying not to blurt out stupid, embarrassing things, says Science. Also, you are probably stressed and drunk.
Why do you blurt out the stupid, embarrassing things at holiday parties? Because you're trying not to blurt out stupid, embarrassing things, says Science. Also, you are probably stressed and drunk.
Your skin looks great today!
Oh mathie, WOW, well played!
Sorry, Science, I refuse to try not to think about polar bears.
Oh my, so many great things to go with this article! My best friend is still mad at me for regaling her friends at her bachelorette party about the time she got really drunk at her company xmas party and announced to everyone, at the top of her lungs, that she was a lesbian. Thing is, she's not a lesbian, never even the slightest bit inclined that way. She's also quiet as a mouse, a perfect wall flower. She still doesn't know why she yelled that and she still doesn't know why it's one of my favorite stories ever.
STRONGLY ENJOYED
Do Science and Cat hang out? I feel like they must.
I do it cause I'm an asshole
Heeeyyyy, good to see ya! Heard you closed a big deal back in October, niiiice. Any big travel plans for the holidays? No? Well, it's probably for the best what with Janet and all. No, I mean probably not a good idea to travel this late in the pregnancy. Hahaha, not pregnant, haha, right, good one. Seriously, though, I just saw her standing at the bar and she looks fan-flippin-tastic. Just great. Glowing! Who's your OB? Because ours was a real stickler about Denice's drinking, especially in the third trimester. Whenever I'd open up the wine box I'd tell Denice, "Stand back, honey, I'm drinking for two tonight!" Hey, did you hear about your old intern Darren? Executive Veep. Woo-hoo-hewww. And at 24. Doh! Gimlet talking! Forgot about your transfer. What's it like working for your own intern? That's bizarro, right? Looks like the master's shoe is on the pupil's foot now, grasshopper. Hahaha. Oh! Almost forgot. You will not believe this. You know Carole from HR? Blonde? Nice rack, but a little plump? Red dress tonight with the weird leather straps on the back? Before I ran into you I was in the men's room and saw her and Alex from ad sales go into a stall together. Swear to God! I don't know, bright red? Short dress. Hooker short. Yeah. Black leather strap things like on a saddle or something, why? Yes! That's her! Dude, why do you have a picture of Carole on your phone? Whoa, that kid she's holding looks just like you. Oh, ok, see ya later! Tell Ja - I mean Carole hi!
TOUR DE FORCE.
God even reading that explanation of why this phenomenon happens made me uncomfortable. I have to go hide under my covers for the rest of the year now.
I just tend to glare from the corner of the room with a tumbler of Scotch and hiss at anyone who tries to approach me.