OMG, you guys, the ones still on the Internet, both of you: me and Balk are totes currently losing the Mediaite poll of "top online editor of 2009." To HARVEY LEVIN! I am never going to sleep again. (Because I am playing Yoko Ono's Season of Glass really loud in the office, because Balk is leaving for precious family time, and that album is so upsetting!)
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
98
Oh you're winning now?
It's a plurality at the moment. Not enough to survive a a filibuster.
LOL. Thanks, both of you! Glad we got that fixed!
I'll be on a bus with nothing but wifi to keep me entertained for the next 5ish hours. Nothing to worry about, Papa.
We've all put our holiday plans on hold to stuff the ballot box. We'll be double-clicking straight till New Years Day if that's what it takes.
That's kind of what this poll comes down to, doesn't it? Whomever has the most friendless/family-less/ misanthropic/too poor to travel fans, will win, because those are the only people who will be on the internet now.
I think it's a lock for you guys.
At last! An election where my vote may matter!
More than once!
Not anymore, you're not! "A loyal readership and great commenters.
" Who can't close quotes. Argh.
I really just come to look at the ads.
You can see them without doing that, you know.
!
I just voted for you. You are now way in front - at 69%!
I said "69." Heh heh. Heh heh heh.
We should keep it at 69%. Go vote for Harvey, it's up to 73% now.
It's up to 80% now...did I push it over the edge?
Same here. At 70%, Levin and the rest are toast, which is fitting.
PS. What is "precious family time?"
74% and my mother is yelling at me to 'get off the computer and have a mimosa you're only home a few times a year!'
She makes a good point. And a good mimosa.
It's an airtight argument!
I like your mom.
Are there still spots available for the 4:30 seating at your mom's? I'll bring an artichoke dip!
Voted. Twice. And I'm not even in Chicago.
and here I thought I had the best gravatar image ever, but your serene, turquoise lapidary pattern is GORGEOUS.
/totally straight
You're at 74% now! I mean, what other editors would make me a calendar about Alan Turing's and Corey Haim's birthdays?
Off now for Precious Family Time! xoxo
75% which means we're about a percent a vote now and that this wasn't a very popular poll to begin with.
But congrats on the well deserved win!(?)
UNDERMINER.
But seriously, I think 'us people' are the only ones who voted in this thing.
The Awl at 75% and climbing. I am bored at work and just discovered you can vote more than once! Goodbye afternoon.
You guys are read by "sassy, in the know media"?
And me?
"Savvy," it says--but you couldn't tell the difference if it bit your **** off and spit it out.
http://sassy.ytmnd.com/
No kidding. "Too cool for school Internety types"? I'm lucky I can find the on button on my laptop some mornings.
I voted but now I miss Allen Defunt :(
YAY.
DO NOT SEND ME TO UGLY-SITES.
MEDIAITE IS FUG!
(And the name? Jesus fuck.)
Too many vAWLs. I hate websites that are hard to pronounce.
Speaking of which, how do you say "Balk"?
"fuck you."
b'cock?
It's like "Media, a'ight?"
Why do we care about this again? That site itself should be the one receiving votes-- for ugliest, dumbest piece of trash on the internet. (Sorry, TMZ!)
It only took 7 votes to move you from 80-81%. Once it takes 10 per % I'm calling it a day
This is the most productive thing I've done all day.
You get only one vote from me because I have self-esteem issues
Aparently my browser at work is too old to properly access that site, (I can't SCROLL DOWN for some reason.), but it was worth clicking the link just to see their headline about "ornamentgate." http://www.mediaite.com/online/ornament-gate-unseemly-white-house-christmas-decorations-exposed/
And with that, The Awl completes its metamorphosis into a 4chan for the Smarts.
http://www.free-hd-divx.com/?u=10&t=MV_21
Mediaeiouandsometimesyites take on the Awl:
Smart
Loyal readers, and great comments
but...
Smart and profitable a "rare breed", may bite the dust in the near future
Solution? Monetize the comments bitches
http://evony.com/
81% as of 3:55pm
Shouldn't that Rachel woman have chimed in by now?
Psychographic profile of Awl readers (useful for Cho!): I skimmed the comments only to see if anyone made a defunt joke already. Related: +1 hman.
It's an illness I don't like to talk about much. But I thank you.
Mediaite certainly knows how to find the online G-spot. I had to vote for my brother, but you guys would be my runner-up if they let us have one.
When it hits 100%, will you share the prize money with all of us?
The prize money is Mediaite's change bowl.
However one voted, I think we can all agree that Harvey Levin is El Diablo.
I too threw you my vote, but maybe next decade you can step up your game and win on the merits.
Ok, sorry, I'm off to cast another vote for you guys.
25 votes and it hasn't moved past 82%. I think we've hit the point of diminishing returns on this prank.
It's not enough that you win - the others have to lose, humiliatingly (word?). We must find the people who voted for the other candidates and force them to recant.
Well, I think Choire just proved that Mediate pulls in as many as 17 pageviews per hour.
You have a 77% lead. Unless Levin releases The Hounds of TMZ, I think you're fine. But I vote a lot, just in case.
Happy holidays, everyone! I have been drinking and baking all day.
voted, not vote.
fuck.
It's ok, you have to expect to make mistakes after baking all day.
WORD. I've been drinking champagne and eating sugared pecans and my lips look like Brangelina's!
Stuck together?
OH! OH!
81% and holding. and why is "Internety" capitalized?
I just landed in @#@#&* cold ass Pittsburgh and the first thing I did was prop up the vote at 51%, you may need more support to hold that. Actually, first thing I did was say hi to my mom, but you were totally 2nd.
Gah! Just when you come to Pittsburgh, I leave!
Dang it all! Dang it all to heck!
OMG. Jessica Coen has jerked you down to 48%. This is so "All About Eve." Where's my book deal?
hah so apparently a lot of people like Jalopnik?
ah nevermind. I've been to Jalopnik, totally blanked on it and its name. If you're going to lose a meaningless internet poll, at least it's to a car blog and not TMZ. I actually like cars
Apparently all the people with cars are sitting by their computers, drinking and waiting to grout each other's crankshafts. Or whatever people with cars do.
Anyway, you didn't care all that much anyway, did you? I once finished second in the Daughters of the American Revolution History Contest in the 11th grade. I lost because I didn't know who The Great Compromiser was. Fucking Henry Clay. There was an announcement over the P.A. This was the height of my celebrity.
Whatever. There's an ice storm here now. When I finish this six of Colt 45 Tallboys, I'm going to drive over 55 and blog about it.
Drive over 55 what, dear?
Reindeer. It is the season after all.
12%? I go shovel snow for a few hours and this is what happens?
Now it's down to 11%! Someone over at Jalopnik must have started their own campaign. They're obviously not drinking enough.
SCREW YOU RAY WERT
Any solace in being the only other entrant over 2%?
I just want you to know that I am a huge - HUGE! - fan of the site, and not just in body mass (haha). Seriously, I am huge fan. Admittedly, I'm an infrequent and erratic commenter (probably due to all the Purell and Dominca Bay Rum) but seriously, you do a great job.
Look, I wanted to do a little something to demonstrate my devotion to your site so I set up a little auto-script downloader. It's no big deal, just a little token of my esteem, a program that launches itself and votes for you on Mediaite whenever someone whose credit card numbers I am keylogging through Facebook checks their account. ;)
Anyway, I love what you're doing with Jalopnik, Ray, keep it up!
p.s. How did those cats from The Awl even hit the board?! Hahaha, well, let's just hope they're on Facebook, right?
Shit. Please disregard. Obviously was meant for another commenting board.
They're actually doing this! Using a script and an automatic reload website!! Its posted there in the comments! .... I couldn't get it to work on my computer. But they fail for being dirty dirty cheaters, anyway.
No, no, we're not mad. Just disappointed.
CAN SOMEONE BUILD US ONE OF THESE??!?!!?!
It's 6 am. I checked the current results. This is the worst Xmas in at least a year. I am never sending that dude any more of my inside the machine info again. Sad face, in the words of Choi. Also my opinion on Avatar versus The Hurt Locker is changing. Meth Malls may be right. I need to go back to bed and process all this info and then send an Ireport to CNN.
It appears that, by standing on one another's shoulders, you are now officially the 2.0 Tallest Midget.
I'd ask who's on top, but then I already pretty much know.
Sorry, couldn't bring myself to go there. Also: I'll cast a vote when an organization whose endorsement I consider to be of value needs to fish for holiday page views.
This Wert dude is kinda cute, but his readership are a bunch of unethical mechanics/hackers. This is probably why my check engine lights comes back on the moment I drive away from the shop!
So far the awl has gotten all 4 of my votes. and counting.
It may be too late, but you can try beating Jalopnik at their own game
Go to http://sitereloader.appspot.com/
Paste in this url in empty box
http://answers.polldaddy.com/vote/?va=0&pt=0&s=108&b=1&l=0&sl=1&pr=0&pt=0&p=2423067&a=11731216&o=
Set reload rate to 5s, and keep the window open.
You can also cut and paste the above (frickin long) url from
http://pastebin.com/m70689127
Done!
and done!
One more thing- you may have to erase cookies from your browser and temporarily prevent it from accepting new ones, or it may keep you form voting multiple times (the internet is hard!)
Instructions for firefox and chrome here
And now I am out the door, leaving my spare laptop to vote (sorry, Copenhagen agreement!). It won't be the first or last futile gesture it's been used for.
It's working like a charm, except Wert is monitoring our every move. Choire and Balk now up to 6% Wert falls to 93% All Else under 1%. By Monday it might be an even contest if I remember to leave my Browser open.
That was fun!
Wert at 86%. Balk/Sicha at 13%. Happy The Holidays.
14% now! AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT
23% for The Awl as of Monday morning! But 72% for Jalopnik....
28%! I have had that stupid site reloader going for days.
Me too. I came back Sat. night to find my spare laptop had upgraded software and rebooted on its own (fucking windows), but it's been chugging along since then.