Orrin Hatch Gives Jews The Gift Of Song
"I feel sorry I'm not Jewish sometimes."
-Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) discusses "Eight Days of Hanukkah," his first foray into Hebraic balladry. "Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do. Mormons believe the Jewish people are the chosen people, just like the Old Testament says." You'll want to stick around for the part where he seductively unbuttons his shirt and whips out his mezuzah. There's plenty more here.
That session singer, she really musters up some chutzpah for that forced, uneasy 'HEY!' And did the melody have to be so sharpy-flatty?
"Let the Siegels soar!…"
PAAAH!
That's not the next line, silly!
'I'm going to make 'ya…/
A contribution to Judaica.'
"I can't watch a man sing a song" – jerry seinfeld
how prescient
I like when the guy at the end says that was a hip-hop song.
That's it! That's all it is!
If Bob Dylan can sing Christmas songs, I guess Orrin Hatch can write Hanukkah songs. What we need is a catchy tune for Ramadan.
And so will the next post from the Awl's editor for ursine and religious affairs tell us more about Orrin's cowriter Madeline Stone, the "Jewish songwriter from the Upper West Side of Manhattan [actually from Brooklyn and Long Island, by way of Nashville, unless we can assume the NY Times is better fact-checked than SongwriterUniverse Magazine] who specializes in Christian music"?
Because Madeline has been giving us Bible-bangers the gift of song rather more generously than Orrin ever gave it to the Jews.
truly, it is the latter days.
“Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do.†Oh course, since to guys like him us Jews are the guardians of the “Holy Land†who will be converted to Christianity when a great battle happens in the “Holy Landâ€Â, thus heralding the beginning of “The Raptureâ€Â, when us Jews will clearly see the joy of Christ and float off to heaven, leaving our beanies, dreidels and latkes behind…
Or as my dad would have said: Schmuck.