The Awl

SpyMagician on How to Cook a Latke

SpyMagician — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:28:25 +0000

Latke to this discussion, but my mom used a ricer to squeeze out the water. No cheesecloth and it works better for a brute force task like this.

atipofthehat on How to Cook a Latke

atipofthehat — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:10:19 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj3atizERPU Vout!

carpetblogger on How to Cook a Latke

carpetblogger — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:05:40 +0000

The "the" is a soviet/russian imposition to suggest that Ukraine is not a state of its own, but rather a component part of mother Russia.

HiredGoons on How to Cook a Latke

HiredGoons — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:19:01 +0000

*hands over ears "LA LA LA!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! LA LA LA!!!

Natasha Vargas-Cooper on How to Cook a Latke

Natasha Vargas-Cooper — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:58:39 +0000

That jew gold looks like a good amuse bouche.

MisterHippity on How to Cook a Latke

MisterHippity — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:12:53 +0000

This Latka contained cheese.

MisterHippity on How to Cook a Latke

MisterHippity — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:10:21 +0000

I dunno. I want to wait and see what Dorrie has to say about this.

Natasha Vargas-Cooper on How to Cook a Latke

Natasha Vargas-Cooper — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:29:19 +0000

"DO LATKA" http://content.ytmnd.com/content/e/e/6/ee60fb1a07f1fcec78e016985b08ac5a.jpg <3

Dori on How to Cook a Latke

Dori — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:28:10 +0000

@Hez No flour necessary. My trick (apparently all Dori/Dorees are super-Jew latke experts) is to squeeze out all the liquid, pour it off about 10 minutes later and, lo and behold, all the beautiful potato starch remains at the bottom. Scoop it out and mix it in with the potatoes. That's if you use russets. They're the starchiest--I don't know about the 'hos. @Doree, I bought that Ikea/LeCreuset ripoff pan and it fucking sucks! I'll take my cheap Lodge cast iron anyday. Oh and fuck cheese. A half-Jew heathen came over and put KETCHUP on my dear, beloved latkes. I nearly plotzed. Happy Chanukah!

hungrybee on How to Cook a Latke

hungrybee — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:15:49 +0000

I enjoy a latke recipe that asks me to think about what goes in a good crab cake.

TerseNursePornstein on How to Cook a Latke

TerseNursePornstein — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:52:45 +0000

Take it from me, nothing boils water like Le Creuset.

thatsrealbutter on How to Cook a Latke

thatsrealbutter — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:20:26 +0000

I will add to your blasphemy and say that I've also made these w/ grated celery root and a shit ton of pepper and parsley. Mind you, this is only when I feel my potato consumption has reached maximum capacity and I will die if I eat another.

garge on How to Cook a Latke

garge — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:50:27 +0000

BAH HA! This is only funny if you are from the poorer east side suburbs, but I am sure you can imagine.

slinkimalinki on How to Cook a Latke

slinkimalinki — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:47:25 +0000

COOK EVERYTHING IN OLIVE OIL.

Brooklyn Battery on How to Cook a Latke

Brooklyn Battery — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:44:05 +0000

Good guess, she was from Beachwood.

garge on How to Cook a Latke

garge — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:39:16 +0000

Was she from Beachwood? Maybe I saw her at the mall sometime.

garge on How to Cook a Latke

garge — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:36:52 +0000

I have to say, if you are a sucker for lifetime warranties (like me), the Creuset is a win. They just replaced my 4.5 qt dutch oven from the 1970s that had somewhat deteriorated, no questions asked.

Brooklyn Battery on How to Cook a Latke

Brooklyn Battery — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:29:29 +0000

No, last one was a Clevelander

SemperBufo on How to Cook a Latke

SemperBufo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:24:21 +0000

Hate that. Those things are, like, IMPOSSIBLE to find in the grated potato! I just quietly bandage up & don't tell anyone.

SemperBufo on How to Cook a Latke

SemperBufo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:22:41 +0000

I think the partially-mashed-potato variant takes care of this.

Shivery.McPickles on How to Cook a Latke

Shivery.McPickles — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:16:41 +0000

Ha ha ha. I think those are just called bitches. They come in Jewish and non-Jewish flavors.

iplaudius on How to Cook a Latke

iplaudius — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:11:47 +0000

I can confirm that the Ikea imitation Le Creuset work well. I suspect they hired a French manufacturer, if not actually Le Creset, to make them "off label." More recently, I saw them in blue, BTW.

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:07:08 +0000

"be better served," perhaps?

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:06:58 +0000

DO IT. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00131727

HiredGoons on How to Cook a Latke

HiredGoons — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:06:30 +0000

Shande, etc.

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:03:31 +0000

Hey, we have relatives from Moldova! Maybe we're related.

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:02:31 +0000

Oh, as a shorthand for the Ukrainian SSR, sure! Just not for the independent country, as far as I'm concerned.

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:58:46 +0000

Yes: I grew up on the Upper West Side, but now live in Astoria. And I stand on line, not in it. Besides: where my family is from is now all Moldavia/Moldova anyways.

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:53:11 +0000

I think so, but I've never tried it. Basically I think they just need a teensy bit of some kind of thickening agent.

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:53:00 +0000

Just to beat a dead horse, the "the" was (and is) widely used, especially in reference to Ukraine-as-part-of-Russia/Soviet Union. On a hunch, I pulled the Pevear and Volokhonsky translation (1998) of Gogol's stories down from my shelf. The first line of Pevear's preface reads: "Nikolai Vassilyevich Gogol was born on April 1, 1809, in the village of Sorochintsy, Mirogorod district, Poltava province, in the Ukraine, also known as Little Russia."

boyofdestiny on How to Cook a Latke

boyofdestiny — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:51:05 +0000

I'm a Polish Catholic, so we called them plackis, but same diff! I made them on my own for the first time last Easter, and I was heartened to see how similar our recipes are. Although mine probably included far more knuckle shavings.

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:50:19 +0000

That is the craziest thing I've ever seen! (Looks delicious!)

Mary HK Choi on How to Cook a Latke

Mary HK Choi — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:49:56 +0000

NUH UH! That's the bootleg? I LIKE IT. I am totally copying you.

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:48:33 +0000

Ha! No worries! I only hear my fam ever really refer to it in Russian (still Soviet when we left) & so I don't think I've ever heard "the" from them at all... (Frankly, I've heard very few articles from them in general!) It does sorta grate, reflexively, though I can sorta understand why someone would want to put an article there, since, in Russian, you don't say "in" Ukraine, but rather "on" Ukraine! Weird, right?!

djfreshie on How to Cook a Latke

djfreshie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:45:21 +0000

Well they may be DELICIOUS, but I don't think you can technically call those latkes. They sound more like Potato cakes, or something. Either way I'm going to try it, though.

djfreshie on How to Cook a Latke

djfreshie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:43:07 +0000

If your Jewish girlfriend can't make latkes or god forbid, a noodle Kugel, you should LEAVE HER IMMEDIATELY. My Goy girlfriend can do both, mostly because I taught her...but it's not hard for chrissakes.

djfreshie on How to Cook a Latke

djfreshie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:40:23 +0000

Well, somewhat. But moreso the combination of Potatoes/Yams. Match made in heaven. Carrots and Potatoes together is merely an offshoot of my favourite potato Kugel recipe, which is basically identical to Latkes, except breadcrumbs where flour should be, and baked.

leemfrank on How to Cook a Latke

leemfrank — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:40:05 +0000

Latkchos are pretty good, too. http://nachosny.com/2009/12/15/latkchos-latkes-nachos-recipe/

Hez on How to Cook a Latke

Hez — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:38:17 +0000

Doree, can the wheat flour be replaced with something else (potato flour?) for us gluten-intolerant?

kitten_witawip on How to Cook a Latke

kitten_witawip — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:35:14 +0000

Coasties?

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:33:59 +0000

Maybe you'd better be served sticking to gentile women, then?

Sackin on How to Cook a Latke

Sackin — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:31:30 +0000

Cheese doesn't go in Latkes

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:30:37 +0000

Are you referring to the "the"? That's how my grandmother said it. She did live there for 17 years, not that that makes her correct (she used to refer to the entire state of Florida, or any of its parts, as "Miami"). I don't use the "the" for the modern independent country, but it's hard for me to avoid when I'm thinking about her or her childhood. My apologies! I know it can grate, just as it would me if someone were to drop the "the" from the Bronx.

SemperBufo on How to Cook a Latke

SemperBufo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:24:37 +0000

They're good like that, but I'd back off the proportion of mashed to about 20%.

Brooklyn Battery on How to Cook a Latke

Brooklyn Battery — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:21:37 +0000

The Jewish girlfriends I've gone out with could barely use a can opener, had no interest in learning their mother/grandmother's recipes, and spent money like it grew on trees. Is this goy dating the wrong Jews?

SemperBufo on How to Cook a Latke

SemperBufo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:21:18 +0000

I'm so goyische that I'm an Episcopalian, but I would NEVER put cheese in, or on, a latke. It might be good, but it just seems like something one wouldn't do.

SemperBufo on How to Cook a Latke

SemperBufo — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:19:00 +0000

Or should it be "latkim?"

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:18:09 +0000

Yes, there was occasionally zucchini!

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:16:46 +0000

(Also also, not the Ukraine people, jeeeeeeez!)

DorothyMantooth on How to Cook a Latke

DorothyMantooth — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:15:56 +0000
Also no egg separating in this Ukrainian's homestead. But occasionally there was added zucchini. And added zucchini is fucking delicious!

iplaudius on How to Cook a Latke

iplaudius — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:13:40 +0000
Fresh Gefilte fish is actually good. And I am saying that as someone who hated Gefilte fish before trying the good stuff. (Actually, you can buy a frozen Gefilte fish that is pretty good -- thaw and serve with a slice of cooked carrot and some horseradish [chrain].)

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:05:11 +0000
Also: Cheese?

poisonville on How to Cook a Latke

poisonville — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:04:51 +0000
"Separate the eggs"? I don't think there was any egg separating among the poisonville clan back in the shtetls of the Ukraine, and there certainly wasn't any in the shtetls of the North and South Bronx, but I'll give it a try--I was planning on making latkes tonight, what with the big bag of potatoes I picked up on the cheap after Thanksgiving ($.99/5 pounds). Also: if you don't have cheese cloth you can use a couple of sheets of paper towel to wrap around the shredded potatoes before squeezing out the water. (Also: people buy latkes from a shop?)

mathnet on How to Cook a Latke

mathnet — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:01:48 +0000
I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE

Baboleen on How to Cook a Latke

Baboleen — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:00:06 +0000
Latkes-yes. Gifilte fish-NEVER!!!

iplaudius on How to Cook a Latke

iplaudius — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:44:04 +0000
Anyone find it funny that the quintessential dish of Chanuka centers on an ingredient from the New World that was not known to European Jews until at least 1,700 years after the Maccabean revolt?

kitten_witawip on How to Cook a Latke

kitten_witawip — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:40:58 +0000
Balk will be posting the fucking latke recipe later. I think he uses motor oil.

HiredGoons on How to Cook a Latke

HiredGoons — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:40:34 +0000
If The Awl posts a recipe for Matzoh Ball Soup there is going to be a serious kerfuffle - like chain whips and brass knuckles. (seltzer is the key!)

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:39:52 +0000
After all, I am a Jew. Le Creuset is EXPENSIVE. Though probably worth it! That Ikea pan didn't last too long.

hman on How to Cook a Latke

hman — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:39:14 +0000
Musselman's apple sauce, right?

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:38:42 +0000
Me too! That's why I got that imitation Le Creuset pan from Ikea.

KenWheaton on How to Cook a Latke

KenWheaton — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:37:09 +0000
I'm a goy boy and I rolled with this recipe from http://www.nycnosh.com/?p=98 which calls for boiling and mashing half of the potatoes. OH YES THEY DID! I had a Jew friend laugh in my face ... until she tried them. Now guess which recipe she uses! HA!

barnhouse on How to Cook a Latke

barnhouse — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:36:49 +0000
This is SO thrilling to me. I have always wanted to know how to do this and Mrs. Guzik who is the mom of my kid's friend IGNORED me when I asked her. She brought over this huge Tupperware container of them for my kid's party and they were so scrumptious and I didn't care that they had probably been poisoned by melted plastic! I was only clamoring for more. But what about Parsley? Ah. I see it has been mentioned. It's pretty, I think.

iplaudius on How to Cook a Latke

iplaudius — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:35:53 +0000
Chatty digressions. Money-saving tips. Concern about the cancer. Help yourself, make yourself at home. This is a Jewish recipe.

Mary HK Choi on How to Cook a Latke

Mary HK Choi — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:34:40 +0000
Preach! Fuck a food processor. Jock your hardware tho, mmm... Le Creuset. I love the wooden handle pans over the regular round skillets.

Emily on How to Cook a Latke

Emily — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:31:43 +0000
Truer words.

Mary HK Choi on How to Cook a Latke

Mary HK Choi — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:29:26 +0000
Mmmmmm... Waffle House. Scattered, smothered, and covered.

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:28:43 +0000
I'm sensing you really like the color orange.

David Cho on How to Cook a Latke

David Cho — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:20:56 +0000
YES. CHEESE.

David Cho on How to Cook a Latke

David Cho — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:20:30 +0000
IT'S LIKE HASHBROWNS. AND EVERYTHING TASTES BETTER WITH CHEESE.

Ted Maul on How to Cook a Latke

Ted Maul — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:20:09 +0000
I agree that it's best (and more fun!) to do it by hand. I normally use a box grater but a friend of mine has one of these and swears by it - http://www.amazon.com/Kuchenprofi-10-2008-28-Potato-Grater-Shredder/dp/B000GSIUL2

djfreshie on How to Cook a Latke

djfreshie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:20:08 +0000
Feel free to call me a blasphemer (and to also have my menorah forcefully inserted in your ass) but I find a nice variation includes the addition (NOT REPLACEMENT) of Carrots...Yams, or ideally both. The ratio of Carrots AND Yams should never exceed 1:5 to potatoes. and @ Mathnet, parsley MUST make an appearance as far as I'm concerned. If you're cooking for 1st graders while recounting the story of the Macabees scalping the germans, fine. But cooking at home for significant other or parents or such and such? Put some parsley in there. Bonus points also added for Pimenton. Latkes? Paprika? Yesfuckyes if you don't think those flavours blend you are probably Sephardic in which case, go back to wherever the fuck. Go eat a fig.

mathnet on How to Cook a Latke

mathnet — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:18:39 +0000
Send 'em to Waffle House.

HiredGoons on How to Cook a Latke

HiredGoons — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:16:09 +0000
'forgive them, Doree, they know not what they do.'

Doree Shafrir on How to Cook a Latke

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:12:15 +0000
Is there a goy in the house who can explain the cheese thing? It does not compute.

hanna on How to Cook a Latke

hanna — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:11:43 +0000
This is fabulous! Now the only thing that would make my holidays joyful-er would be a Mary HK Choi recipe!

The Epicurean Dealmaker on How to Cook a Latke

The Epicurean Dealmaker — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:08:21 +0000
It's Hanukkah. If people are getting antsy, throw a dreidel at them and tell them to shut the fuck up. Oh, now I understand. I thought the throwing-the-dreidel-thing was some sort of obscure Hanukkah tradition. [Slaps goyish forehead.]

johnpseudonym on How to Cook a Latke

johnpseudonym — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:08:03 +0000
My grandma's latkes look (and taste) a lot like McDonald's hash browns. Not looking forward to Hanukkah dinner tonight.

valet of the dolls on How to Cook a Latke

valet of the dolls — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:07:56 +0000
I am pleased to know that - Cuisinart aside - I've been doing this right.

mathnet on How to Cook a Latke

mathnet — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:07:34 +0000
Shiksas add parsley and scallions and a teensy bit of nutmeg and start dripping saliva from the mouth. Love you, Doree!

HiredGoons on How to Cook a Latke

HiredGoons — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:06:35 +0000
I endorse this recipe. Box grater, cheese cloth, non-shtick pan. L'chaim! Everybody have a drink.

jolie on How to Cook a Latke

jolie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:03:40 +0000
From now on I'll just ask that you excuse all my typos (latkes with an apostrophe s, jolie??? ARRRGG.) since I'm clearly a fucking moron. Thanks all.

Krugmanic Depressive on How to Cook a Latke

Krugmanic Depressive — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:03:21 +0000
I was worried this wasn't going to be aggro enough for the Awl cookery until she promised to fucking kill me for using a nonstick pan. Crisis averted.

Multiphasic on How to Cook a Latke

Multiphasic — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:02:41 +0000
Is this fucking latke, or just a latke?

jolie on How to Cook a Latke

jolie — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:00:20 +0000
I had a classmate growing up by the name of Josh Moss, and every year on the first day of school the big thing was who was in Josh Moss's class. Not because Josh Moss was particularly popular, but because every year at Hanukkah, Josh Moss's mum & gramma would come to school and make latke's on a hot plate while telling us the Hanukkah story. This reminded me of that lovely time in my girlhood and I thank you for that. Also: "If you use a nonstick pan I will fucking kill you." = AWESOME.

KarenUhOh on How to Cook a Latke

KarenUhOh — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:54:09 +0000
You the Unspelled today. "Unwashed."

KarenUhOh on How to Cook a Latke

KarenUhOh — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:53:32 +0000
Love. [We the Unwasged will want to add cheeses. Not Jesus, Cheeses.]