Stuart Elliott at the NYT is hysterical. Check it, he says, "FIRST, Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. Now, Dockers will try to bring khaki back." MAHAHAHAHAHA. Isn't that great? I mean, I don't know about you but I think mashing that message into the squarest lead ever is some boss shit.
The weird thing is, Dockers are absolutely ripe for return. The price-point is sweet at around $27-$35 a pop which is rare for garments with crotches. The author posits that they'll see some friction in competing for the affections of men wearing SWRVE pants which makes exactly fuck-all sense since they cost about a hundred bucks more and are purveyed at your finest cycling stores but where Dockers is egregiously fumbling is that they're not quietly going for the James-Perse-at-Dickies-prices lane. It's confusing since their parent company Levi's is so cannily positioned right now on the heels of their awesome Whitman ad campaign. They could have the soft cotton twill game on lock if they didn't feel the need to trot out douchechill ad slogans like "it's time to wear the pants" and "khaki diem" (baaaaaarf) and capture the fancy of the youth market by telling them to "man up." And never mind that they got a female SVP to declare it's sufficiently vetted "to make sure it's not sexist."
You can keep the classic cut-the rear flattening, gut cinching, pleated kind that are perfect for fat dudes, foreign substitute teachers, or dick-swinging aggy ex-white hats who can't stand without their feet being really far apart-so as not to alienate the core, and a modified, leaner, flat-front one for sexy poor people and ladies. They could occupy the slot that American Eagle Outfitters' denim does for women in that we all SILENTLY own a pair.
So yes, Dockers could happen. They just need two cuts, four colorways, two weights, a Harrington jacket (am I right?) and they'd be right at home in those shit-eating steampunk stores next to the Filsons or in skateshops next to the SBs. I win. Someone give me a job.
as long as they don't focus solely on relaxed fit and offer something that matches my bird legs, I'm in.
I unironically LOVE those Levis ads! And I love their products!
me too. they're EXPERT status.
they really DO make me want to buy some outsourced American denim.
What to buy? B'khaki!
Just rip off the Gap (new) Classic fit. Heavily rotating those right now.
Nah. Dockers needs to ride the wave of the Mom-fit for men. Obama has that whole swag on smash.
Exhibit A: http://www.pophangover.com/wp-content/uploads/obama-mom-jeans.jpg
You know what? I'm glad you brought this up BECAUSE mom jeans are different from dad jeans. Dad jeans are the Obama joints. Also, Seinfeld jeans. Sometimes hey have whiskering. Mom jeans give FUPA and are WAY higher rise.
I'm glad someone else is aware of Seinfeld jeans.
Is an elastic waist gender neutral?
You know who rocked dad/Seinfeld jeans? Kevin Arnold. It totally grossed me out. And no they weren't 1970's jeans, they were Seinfeld jeans, there is a difference.
YES! HE SURE DID. Wow. That's weird. With the belt and the little sneakers with a really jarring hem. The proportions were dwarfish. My mind's sorta blown about this.
You are absolutely right. They ARE dad jeans. Nevertheless, Jerry and Barack must shop at the same store--Vandelay Industries, perhaps? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Katie Holmes has been spotted in Step-Dad jeans which are a snugger around the waist and floppy toward the cuff. The Step Dad cut is slimmer, youthful, more sun-kissed cut that your die-alone-dad-jeans.
I am just glad she finally took off the boyfriend jeans. They make you look like you have no hope if you follow my rule of dating, which is to never date someone who can fit into your pants.
Dorks need to feel cool too, you know.
I'd get this as a tattoo, if tattoos were cool anymore.
Brian Eno says to go ahead.
Dockers khaki chinos are probably the most basic of basics. Since their marketing is more focused on the price point than the styling, why not go of the way retailers like Target and Ikea? Bring the strength of inexpensiveness with a hipness to their ads. I'm not saying make a Dockers version of Gap's ever so popular "Khakis Swing" campaign. They should ask themselves how would the computer company Apple advertise an earth tone basic chino.
YES. They need to get Scandinavian with it. This unit of clothing is PANTS. Boom.
I'm photoshopping Dockers on Gandhi as we speak. This is going to be huge.
I think of UNIQLO this way. I also think a fair amount of their sales comes from dudes who forgot to do their laundry, which could be another potential Dockers market.
Uniqlo is the Ikea of clothes indeed. The fact that their jeans fit me better than any others is almost secondary to the fact that I can walk out in 5 minutes with my grad-student uniform of jeans, shirt, and v-neck jumper. And still retain some sense that I am wearing clothes that fit.
Ha - that's exactly why I made my first purchase at Uniqlo (Oxford St., London, la de da) - 'wash day. nothing clean.' Cheap socks. And very nice socks at that, except one pair are like knitted or crocheted orsomething, which feels kinda weird, but they slouch nicely.
...cold day in Hell.
<3
Three is greater than what!?!?!?
I'm with you. Men who wear these clown pants have given up trying.
But if the fit is good, one could pick off the label reading 'Dockers', and one would hope that nobody is ever going to be close enough to read what it says on the front button.
One could do a lot of things, Flashman, that one still should not do.
Nothing attracts stains like khakis. They need to be cheap and disposable, and that's where Dockers come into play.
Hence the rise of nanotechnological casual Friday pantswear. You can drop the fucking bourbon-glazed pulled-pork sliders on them, rub it around, grind it in, and still wipe it off with a stern look.
I need a gif of this. Man, I'm hungry.
Or Value Village! They always have a ton of slim fit Gap khakis for like 5 bucks. I just threw out a pair with chain grease all over one cuff.
Please, god, just not a relive of the khakis with black monkstraps.
monkstraps as in shoes? I LOVE THOSE.
Mary, my muse, I lurve me some monkstraps. But back in 98? 99? when every techno-dork alive was sporting a blue dress shirt, light khakis, with black belt and black monkstraps and it was just WRONG.... that I can't do again.
Poor Jared. Even his after is a before.
Also, Carhartt pants.
Despite all the weight he lost, he's probably MORE likely to have a heart attack as a result of all the sodium he ingested from eating Subway every day.
Actually, if you look at the specifics of the "Subway diet" Jared used to lose all that weight it was basically two cups of coffee and a 6 inch VEGGIE sub PER DAY.
That sounds like a miserable existence. Why not just exercise more!?
HG, you don't get it. Exercising requires effort and is thus to be avoided at all costs.
Wait, really? With cheese or not? Not that the cheese makes this reasonable.
More Jared trivia:
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007-5-9/bwe-exclusive-jared-fogle-the-pornography-guy/
I had a sneaking suspicion that they didn't let him near the cookies or "full flavor" sauces.
I believe he walked to the Subway shop? So there's that.
@kitten_witawip Ha! Not sure walking downstairs counts in this case. Oh well, he wasn't glued to the lazy boy all day I guess.
Also.... http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/41614897.html
I even feel a little bad about posting that...
Oh yes you DID! MAHAHAHAHA. They said he got "big" also, the first comment is "must have lost his aids." What does this even mean?
It's of the "Starving Africans never have to worry about being fat" school of bodyimageconsciousness.
Mariah Carey, valedictorian.
Really, guys? No love for the South Park, "Jared has aides"(obviously double entendre for A.I.D.S., as it's spoken aloud and the town thinks Jared lost his weight due to the help of AIDS, not what it actually was--aides)?
you know a football jersey adds at least thirty lbs.
also, do you people keep a Jared RSS feed? these primary sources seem rather obscure. for a heavyset man in khakis, a lot of people seem to know him personally.
I've been known to wear the same pair of khakis to work 5 days straight, and no one's the wiser.
We can't get close enough to tell you.
I tried to translate this article into the gay language and it just came up random symbols.
khakis = gay wingdings.
And all this time, I thought that was a handful of Dockers you were grabbing there.
My favorite business school case was the Levis exec who created Dockers had previously launched a disastrous failure: a line of high-quality suit separates for professional men who were so fashion conscious, they did not let their wives or girlfriends shop for them. According to data from their test market [San Francisco], this demographic made up about 25% of the male population.
I wonder if that correlates to another group?
http://www.gallup.com/poll/6961/what-percentage-population-gay.aspx
How dare you. Those are Helmut Lang, you bastard!
Dockers is in trouble if they advice we're giving them is, "Make pants that actually look good on people." Aesthetically, that is.
NO FRONT PLEATS PLEASE!! I WILL NEVER WEAR THEM.
Maybe they'll catch on if we start calling them 'darts'?
AHAHHAHAHA. Totally. GROIN DARTS!
Ouch!
Only "farts" wear darts.
pffft. darts shape a garment so it follows the contours of the body. pleats shape a garment so it billows unflatteringly. thus, thirtysomething-nerd-guy dockers have pleats. hipster dockers would have groin-snuggling darts.
loin darts? parts darts?
loin darts = pricks.
I'm talking accordion, blowfish, boy in a balloon balloon-like pleats.
Fireplace bellows!
"Nice pants."
"Those aren't my pants."
*call me