Britain's Coming Hedgehog Crisis
After yesterday's news about hopeful Snowball the overweight albino hedgehog comes a rather more distressing report about our spiny mammalian friends: African pygmy hedgehogs are apparently the hot new pet in the UK. While you might think this to be a good thing, it is actually cause for concern: Much like the fate of the now-discarded chihuahua, the future does not look bright for the African pygmy hedgehog. How do we know? It has already happened here!
The only hedgehogs in the USA are African Pygmy Hedgehogs (APHs), kept as pets. They were, briefly, the next 'big thing' in the fad-pet world. Bored of terrapins and pot-bellied pigs, people leapt at the chance of owning a hedgehog, especially with the promise of great returns for their investment – like all pet crazes, there is something like pyramid-selling going on. As the craze takes hold, people invest in the animals to breed – and to breed breeding pairs to sell on to other people who want to join the racket. This did two things in the US, first it concentrated the bloodline and generated the fatal condition Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome (no, I am not joking) and second it became economically unsustainable.
And, like all crazes, it collapsed, and now amazing people like Zug Standing Bear, who runs the Flash and Thelma Memorial Hedgehog Rescue Centre, are left to clear up the mess.
I must have been in a meeting when the whole American hedgehog craze happened, but no matter: Rich women of Britain! Be sensible this Christmas and do not get yourself a hedgehog for a pet. Why not adopt an orphan from some impoverished nation instead? Or is that too '08?
I Had Not Thought Much About Hedgehogs Before Yesterday is one of my favorite Morrissey songs, too.
They are taking this mess seriously!
http://hedgieflash.org/spikers.html
Dear god, they've armed the hedgehogs!!!
"# a. Commanding general: Spikers, Major General, USMC
# b. Deputy Commanding General: Brigadier General Wumpling, UHA
# c. Staff:
1. Chief of Staff: Colonel Little Flash, UHA
2. Asst Chief of Staff, G1 (Administration), Colonel Melanie (Canadian Armed Forces).
(a) Staff Judge Advocate: Lt. Colonel Miwacle, UHA, JAGC
(b) Provost Marshal: Major Vula indlela, UHA, MPC
(c) Div. Surgeon: Colonel Roscoe, Canadian Armed Forces, MC
3. Asst Chief of Staff G2 (Intelligence), Major Bozeman (Canadian Armed Forces).
(a) Radar Officer: Major Sonicker (Australian Armed Forces)
4. Asst Chief of Staff G3 (Operations), Colonel Silverbelle (Canadian Armed Forces)
(a) Wheeling Officer: Lt. Colonel Angel, UHMC
(b) Air Liaison Officer: Major Izigqi, Canadian Armed Forces
5. Asst Chief of Staff G4 (Logistics), Colonel Rosie, UHA
(a) Procurement Officer: Major Sweetie, Canadian Armed Forces"
I imagine they would be tasty. Baked.
Balk, why don't you do a post "How to Cook a Hedgehog?"
Make sure not to use a pic of a porcupine though.
That would be embarassing.
I'm telling you, Hedgehog Turnovers.
Removing prickly spines provides even more opportunities for swearing!
slather hedgehog with clay. roast over open fire. break clay shell and the spines will peel off too. sheesh, didn't any of you ever play with gypsies in the wood when you were kids?
The Great Hedgehog Crisis of '08 definitely was the mirror to the Financial Crisis of '08.
Bankers, look to the hedgehog!
British people don't celebrate Christmas!
Be sensible this Boxing Day.
I thought hedgehogs lived in everyone's backyard in England. What's wrong with the native version?
native hedgehogs are big, think porcupines. african pygmy hedgehogs are about the size of a gerbil therefore more manageable to keep indoors.
"the fate of the now-discarded chihuahua"
The image of a yipping landfill of writhing chihuahuas will keep me amused ALL day.
remember when every hollywood dbag had a potbellied pig? oh wait, did depp have one? I may have to take dbag back…
Yesssss, but it was just dbags like Clooney, I think.
That was exactly my first thought! And then they grew up into 300 pound rambunctious lovable sides of bacon but NO ONE WOULD EAT THEM or love them anymore for that matter…
I had an African hedgehog about 10 yrs ago. His name was Slick. I loved him dearly. he lived 6 yrs (which is pretty good) Hedgehogs are the koolest, but they do develop alot of health problems esp w/their respiratory system because they aren't breed for captivity.
Are any among us bred for captivity?
I was bred in captivity once or twice, but that story is for another thread.
WOBBLY HEDGEHOG SYNDROME IS NOT A JOKE, PEOPLE.
I inherited a 3+ yr old hedgehog, whom I named Einstein. He would do delightful things like sit on my lap and watch TV. And get loose and run into my closet and hide in my boots. I had him for two years. He died of WHS a few years ago. I miss him muchly.