Jim Carrey is so Mary J. Blige to me. Like, the second he fell in love and got all happy I lost interest because unless there are blue flames of volatile crazy and tar pools of combustible anguish behind the eyeballs I no longer care about you as a famous person. Really sad famous people are a good flavor because they are hazards which makes them hilarious. So whatever, Jim Carrey's DONEBEEN playing Uno with Mary in celebrity purgatory in the sunken living room of my brain with Jenny McCarthy mixing a big pitcher of virgin Tom Collinses and I wanted to change the channel because he was so BORING until I found his web site. It is AMAZING.

First of all the thing is so creepy and surreal and is scored with super dramatic music and beautiful. And there are all sorts of weird places you can poke around in and it's intense like Jim called Guillermo del Toro to make it for him and Guillermo del Toro said yes because he needed a break from making Pinocchio and if I had a lick of balls I would take a ton of super strong noortropic drugs, shuck my corporeal self and go live in the mainframe as pure energy because it would feel like home and because The Lawnmower Man was a good movie.