Designer Gareth Pugh really is wonderful because he makes really messed-up things for ladies to wear, hence why you see the Space Vampire Rihanna putting that business on. But the biggest problem in fashion (of fashion's eight biggest problems) today-designers who make great crazy things for women but can't figure out what to do with men-is his huge stumbling block. Let us take a tour of the floor of Barneys, and we will tell you how much it costs to dress up as a really gay guy from the future next Halloween.
So, this is an outfit for a man, yes.
Fortunately mannequins don't have buttcrack, but YOU DO.
How much will this cost you?
Neck thing: $190
That bolero "tuxedo" jacket: $2020.
Elastic slit body thingy: $595
Pants: $1215
Shoes: Oh my God, who knows, because, Jesus.
And if you want the shiny vest in a way-overly-long jacket size? It'll cost you $3,495.00.
Gareth! WE LIKE YOU. But what is the big idea here?
Here is a garment that should not exist at this place and time, and I know this just sounds like internalized homophobia, but I swear it's not, because I respect the queeny and the swish, but even this mannequin is limpwristed.
How much? "Stretch jersey tank in optical illusion print with longer hem in rear. Available in Black/White. Imported. Rayon. Dry clean. $515.00"
Previously: Michael Bastian's Homeless Chic? It Still Costs Thousands of Dollars
That design gives queens the optical illusion of being pregnant.
Choire. Please tell us what the other seven biggest problems in fashion are. That is all.
Oh I will be unspooling them all as the winter comes.
I really hope it has something to do with that darling Pile of Sweaters. I could read about that all day.
I was turning a blind eye to the optical illusion tank top, until you noted THE FUCKING HEM IS LONGER IN THE REAR!!!
Excellent journalism, Choire.
You didn't see the sailboat?
It's a schooner.
Sigh. It's so sad because the bish can sew. Also, where is olivier theyskens going? this has nothing to do with the above but man he's pretty.
How much for the mannequin? Because I need, um, you know, friends.
You know who I miss? Helmut Lang.
prada group ruins everything. also, i was thinking recently that if helmut lang still existed, like properly, alexander wang wouldn't live like he's living now.
So true on both counts. THANK YOU for putting things in proper perspective for me!
I worked on that Prada-HL deal and I knew all was lost when someone said (around 2000) "we're gonna kill the HL denim line bc people just aren't going to pay more than $150 for a pair of jeans." I stayed silent then b/c I was a junior associate with a strict policy of speaking only when spoken to. I still have a 10 yo pair of HL jeans that I bought at Fred Segal and as god as my witness I will one day be skinny enough to once again cram my junk into them.
You mean off his rich Chinese parents' dime?
So, what we're saying is you can pay $515 for a piece of shit top that, because of non-thought-out pattern placement, will narrow your pecs and visually undo all that work you've spent doing at the gym, not to mention put to waste all that liver damage from the steroids? Pass.
So true, those stereograms be backwurdz and making the right places look wrong!
$515.00 rayon. RAYON! That's enough to make me go Scanners. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-03vYYAjA
Rayon is a crime against fashion.
The bolero jacket, colored, with a flashier finish, would have been perfect for my Freddie Mercury Halloween costume. But too expensive, hélas.
And the pants aren't even LEATHER!
that optical tank is soooooo depressed 50something japanese housewife whose husband pays for her ikebana classes to keep her quiet about his bar-hostess habit.
But! I don't understand how the stuff for women could be considered any more wearable in the real world. Please to help me see.
(And I kinda like the $3500 shiny jacket. Eagerly awaiting its polyesterized/obesified JC Penney avatar.)