If I know my Awl readers-and I think I do-I know that the most pressing concern you face these days is whether or not your massive consumption of wine will somehow damage the enamel on your teeth. Here's your answer: Drink red. Or better yet, drink bourbon! Although that very last tip is not based on any medical or scientific knowledge and should probably not be taken as gospel, particularly if you've seen the state of my own dental work, which is atrocious given my refusal to see a dentist and the massive amount of nicotine staining going on there. Anyway, drink red and eat cheese! You're welcome.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
33
WARNING: Imbibing from Dr. Manny's weird wine hose will rot your brain.
This is precisely why I ingest my wine via enema.
It's why I always use a straw.
(And nice try, Alex, but I still want to french you.)
Um, thanks... science...(?)
"Chemicals found naturally in winemaking leftovers prove effective against harmful bacteria that cause plaque and tooth decay"
http://www.winespectator.com/webfeature/show/id/Wine-Waste-May-Help-Protect-Teeth-One-Day-Study-Finds_3981
Fox News + Dr. [First Name] = Your New Heathcare system
Thanks, Dr. Manny, but you're nowhere near as hot as Sanjay Gupta.
Go to the dentist--it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Also, jump in--the water's warm. But, really, it isn't as bad. And the water's warm.
Clearly you've been bought by the ADA.
The fluoride in the water made me say it.
They're stealing your fluids.
Precious, precious fluids.
This is a pack of lies.
It's warm because it's a spit sink.
But by the time I've drunk enough white to rot my teeth, won't I have already disintegrated my liver?
Anyway, that's the experiment I'm conducting.
We should co-publish.
I should warn you that my method is not very scientific...
That's called "peer reviewed" kids.
But what about those who swirl, sniff, sip, swish and spit (LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO)?
I've found that never gets me a second date.
Dr. Manny recommends a beard to combat unsightly chin rot.
Wine is an important part of any dental hygiene regimen, but to have the energy and focus to floss and brush, I can't get by without stimulants.
(Giggling at the thought of Fox viewers sipping a Chardonnay.)
Or wine for that matter.
Hey! That's the guy who sold me my rug.
Karen, I didn't know you wore a toupee!
"Rug" in the "Drapes matching the Carpet" sense?
Are we still not talking about bourbon?
Dude, srsly, go to the dentist. Teeth problems have a way of becoming whole body problems very quickly.
/former dentist avoider
Your oral health IS directly connected to your overall health, which isn't very intuitive. To me, at least.
(This doesn't automatically mean your dentist is honest).
I remember in Human Osteology, a cavity was compared to drilling a hole into your bones, and then rubbing food over it.
/brushes teeth nightly
Are these betel nuts bad for my teeth too?
Probably not as bad as these saltwater taffies. (Taffys?)
The dentist people will give you Valium at the drop of a hat these days. So I'll continue to earn my nickname of Chardonay-nay.