Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Area Vampires Are Just Like You, Except They Probably Listen To A Lot More Bauhaus

Regular guyReporting from the frontlines of the Atlanta vampire community: "Merticus, who declines to give his real name, and alliance members claim they are different, physically or psychologically. They draw energy to feel good and stay healthy, and they absorb it psychically from close contact with 'donors' or from drinking a tablespoon of blood from them maybe once a week. They do not claim mythic powers such as immortality, and the screen depictions are often off-putting to members." Also: "If you go to Los Angeles, no one even cares if you are a vampire." Sounds about right. [Via]

12 Comments / Post A Comment

HiredGoons (#603)

Can I have the choice you never had?

riggssm (#760)

Vampires pretending to be humans, pretending to be vampires. (How avant-garde.)

propertius (#361)

Maybe there is a new line of business for blood banks in this.

josh_speed (#97)

Why is it funny to me when people from bland, sunny places like Atlanta are so angsty? And angsty in LA? They only have 2 dimensions there: length and shallowness.

You forgot "girth," although that might just be in West Hollywood.

Matt (#26)

"The Informers" is still the best modern vampire book, yes?

Dave Bry (#422)

Now there's my favorite headline of the day.

Tthe screen depictions are often off-putting to members" might be just about the saddest fucking thing I have ever heard. Those poor bastards. All they want is to stroke their stringy hair and speak Olde English and be all mysterious and shit, and then they turn on the teevee and it's like gorgeous boys with fangs and smoldering eyes who have all this angst about all the ass they're getting everywhere all over the place, and even though they have impeccable fashion sense and limitless sexual appeal, their lives are still just so complicated, you know?

Ha ha ha! THAT SUCKS, Y'ALL.

brad (#1,678)

am i the only one dreaming of a renaissance faire for the all the sad hellspawn of the world? or would that be too beneath them?

HiredGoons (#603)

I'm dreaming of an eternal Mall Food Court.

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