Tom Morello Used to get Rained On in the Ass Pit
I hate when people tell you they're "disappointed," mostly because who the hell are you, and because it actually deeply upsets me on some of primal Asian female shit where I have to get an A++ in life, BUT, man, I am SO disappointed that Tom Morello used to be a stripper. I mean, I love strippers and am constantly picking glitter out of my eyelids from making bestfriend experiences with them but this upsets me in a profound way. This is SO different from how Al Pacino used to be a gigolo because a) sure and b) penetration and c) Tom Morello was my rock Obama. I mean, seriously, "fuck-you-I-won't-do-what-you-tell-me-unless-it's-to-turn-around-drop-it-like-it's-hot-and-let-you-pantomime-slide-an-Amex-centurion-card-in-the-crack-of-my-ass-like-we're-in-a-Nelly-video-before-you-spritz-Korbel-on-the-Harvard-educated-V-of-my-obliques-for-a-sawbuck"?
He couldn't have made that much more. He is kind of scrawny.
Even worse, he played guitar for Audioslave!
Gold star for truth! So much worse.
Rage Against The G String
He claims he only went down to his boxers. I am calling shenanigans. No way could he make a living doing that. The LA man whore market is way too competitive.
Seriously.
you can fingerbang in boxers and still make a tidy tip. except that the tip is damp.
Wow. Huh.
But you know what? I'd be more disappointed if this was an admission from a female musician. YOU GUYS? I THINK I MIGHT BE SEXIST!
Well, of course you're sexy. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY.
Oooh, Canadians !!!
IN THE YEAR OF THE BOOMERWANG
that drownedinsound link might have vanquished you with:
BALLS ON PARADE
PENIS OF THE SUN.
etc.
no changes needed: SNAKE CHARMER
RALLY 'ROUND THE BACHELORETTE PARTY/
G-STRING FULL OF ONES
DON'T TURN AWAY / GET IN FRONT OF IT.
(I don't think I will ever be able to hear "People of the Sun" the same way again, and I thank you for that.)
Harvard? Rage From Inside the Machine. But I'm sure that fancy degree will enable him to get all Audre Lorde on my ass.
…and then came the shot. Uggh!
Mary, you just killed the hyphenation game. You get an A++ in that, if not, in life generally.
FREEDOM (FROM PANTS)? YEAH, RIGHT
Glad to see you got over the A++ issues.
are you giving me a c with this comment cause that's so mean.
I am sorry, but I never change grades. Arguing will only make me more … disappointed.
On the bright side, you got an A for your work in the change video.
Tom Morello could strip for me anytime. Except I don't find male strippers sexy, so he shouldn't dance or wear a thong.
maybe he can make you a casserole. my tom morello fanfic involves condensed cream of mushroom soup and blue corn tortilla chips.
I call Bullsshit on the vanilla stripper story.
The stripper money in the Hollywood in the 80's for Morellos hungry and broke-ass type was found at Club Fuck — and you opened in your boxers and closed the routine on the business end of a stripper pole….THATS how the rock n' roll punks paid rent.
Yeah, this is totally surprising. Kind of like the combination of rock and rap. Or the fact that white dudes doing it makes what was already a hip-hop staple palatable to the mall crowd. Or the fact that this dude played multiple roles in his acting career.
Politics from KRS One/Public Enemy/Geto Boys = commercial suicide.
Bizarro angry rants about pointless refusal to follow instructions = mall rock.
A big "Thank you" to whoever took Mary's meds away.
This is much better.