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Monday, November 23, 2009

26

Ten Christmas Gifts Not To Buy

WTFHere is the world's worst holiday gift guide, from the Washington Post. Bubble bath! Mediocre wingtips! (Here's a hint: if you're going to spend more $550 on wingtips for men, then you can afford to go to John Lobb and get proper ones.) And? Says one gift-giver: "My female friends are getting amazingly colorful one-size-fits-all muumuus I found in Bali." That is from boutique-owner Christopher Reiter, who is going to have zero female friends as of December 26th.

26 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

Oops. I ordered "emus" by mistake.

David Cho
David Cho (#3)

Instead of:

Here's a hint: if you're going to spend more $550 on wingtips for men, then you can afford to go to John Lobb and get proper ones.

I think you mean:

Here's a hint: if you're goign to spend $550 on wingtips for men, just give them cash, they'll appreciate it more.

Choire Sicha

You clearly don't own any good shoes besides those "sneakers" that you hip kids without office jobs like so much.

sailor
sailor (#396)

Expensive loafers instead of wingtips?

TerseNursePornstein

Listen and learn, son.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Someone needs to buy Christopher Reiter some new shoes.

MisterHippity

You know what the real problem with the muumuu is? The name is a homophone for the bovine sound that the wearer typically doesn't want associated with her appearance.

If it was called a "fifi" or something, people would probably have a lot less of a problem with it.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

I'm sari.

MisterHippity

It's ok. You don't have toga around apologizing all the time.

TableNine
TableNine (#1,104)

That sarong way to look at it, anyway.

myfanwy
myfanwy (#1,124)

"Caftan"...wait, skin cancer. This is a problem.

MisterHippity

Yes. The "chemo-no" has the same problem.

gregorg
gregorg (#30)

[Shelly] Winter Wrap

pissy elliott
pissy elliott (#397)

Ahem. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fifi

Hobbesian
Hobbesian (#255)

Alden cordovan wingtips are by no means mediocre. They're handmade and will last forever.

Hoover
Hoover (#2,245)

Agreed--Aldens are legit.

Tuce
Tuce (#427)

Double agreed. They will put the overpriced, LVMH-owned(?) John Lobbs to shame for less than half the price. The cordovans will also age better than a calfskin shoe by _any_ maker.

Mary HK Choi
Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Roll dyed zebra print flammable is FUNNY. Is that hardware or embroidery? Either way it's hysterical. I don't resent this. Oh and I would LOVE if it was called a fifi because then the old lady wearing it would talk in babytalk and that's SO GROSS.

DorothyMantooth

I would wear the fuck out of that thing on my yacht.

If I had a yacht.

iplaudius
iplaudius (#1,066)

I was about to object, on the grounds that the tomato plant and the grill pan are useful indeed, when I realized that usefulness at the expense of all other virtues is exactly the problem -- like giving a set of knives to your mother on her birthday.

Bittersweet
Bittersweet (#765)

Funny, my first thought on seeing the tomato plant was, "Fuck, another useless thing I'd have to take care of and find surface space for."

Tuna Surprise
Tuna Surprise (#573)

Does that muumuu come with a gift certificate for the holder to get liver spots spray tanned on? It should.

kitten_witawip

Why do the guys get wine instead of caftans?

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

To make the muumuus look attractive.

kitten_witawip

Prolly more for when they come off and they see what the muu muu was covering up.

DorothyMantooth

Also, don't knock Molton Brown, Choire!

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