Another country heard from! From the inbox: "I cannot endorse your reckless pie crust methods. Granted, pie crust is stupid easy, but it should be made in a cuisinart. As much salt as sugar? A TBSP of salt? A CUP of water? Mixing with warm hands? Freezing the dough? NO!!!!! This is irresponsible journalism! How many Thanksgivings have to be ruined before you will stop?"
Choire, Alaska is not a separate country.
Throwdown. Or up. I forget.
"It doesn't matter!!"
Hmm. The number of exclamation marks in that email suggest that this is Choire attempting to fabricate some controversy.
You know what? Back o' the line, EMAIL! Take a number and Leave a Reply.
Easy. Stick your HANDS in the freezer while you drink from a straw or smoke with the help of a device that helps with that. Give or take.
That Reckless Pie Crust Methods EP represents a time we'd all rather forget in the post-hardcore era.
It's not Choire. It's someone who KNOWS his PIE (not me).
Anything having to do with pie crust inevitably reminds me of the fact that my mother failed at those no-fail prepackaged pie crusts - it fell apart.
Needless to say, I am the chef in the family.
I once got a gutter ball in bumper bowling. We all have our cross to bear.
Yes, and please make with the delicious soup recipes.
8-10 cups tomato broth base (2 large cans crushed tomatoes plus water works well)
1 cup olive oil
4 cups broccoli stalks
2 chopped zuchini
3 chopped carrots
1 large onion diced
2 cups diced scallions
2 cans sliced olives
1 can chickpeas
3 cups fresh green beans
2 cups chopped mushrooms
Simmer for 2 hours on low heat
Add
1lb. baby octopus (Whole Foods)
Simmer for 30 more mins.
Sounds like a giant yum. I think I'm going to make soup this weekend.
Anything having to do with home cooking reminds me of the time my mother, who has always had someone to do the cooking for her, suddenly expressed interest in taking a fancy baking course. She returned home and made a series of elegant desserts-- not for eating, mind, but simply to flambé the shit out of things. lowers voice I'm not sure that the recipes in fact called for this.
Needless to say, I am not a chef. Nor do I want a family.
A Cuisinart is actually a very BAD idea. In the first place, people were making perfect pie crusts long before the invention of the Cuisinart and, for that matter, electricity. But if you do use one, you will likely over mix the dough, and in any case the friction and energy of the machine will melt your butter faster than any human hands can do.
Finally, if you want to get prissy, foreigner, use a fucking pastry cutter. Or two butter knives. It doesn't matter!
Plus, if you are really from ANOTHER COUNTRY, why do you care about Thanksgiving???
Are you Christopher Columbus or a Pilgrim or something!!???!!
I think "another country" is just how Choire thinks of Brooklyn.
Oooo!!! Let's start an interborough Awl thumb war!*
*I am not sure how you do this on the internet.
Make him pronounce the street names correctly! Outloud. He can't! Go ahead, say "Schermerhorn", Choire.
We have our OWN Broadway, thank you.